Shy guys who are scared to approach women, have you ever tried?

Question

cookiecrusher · Accepted Answer

When i was a kid i was in so much shit, got called ugly and dumb by about 600 people for over 16 years. Got beat up at home too. My crushes laughed at my face and called me ugly.
Made me learn that most humans are garbage, hiding behind angel faces/behavior.

Now after all that, i got fit, tons of skills and rich enaugh. Women approach me, pretty often, about 2 or 3 times a week if i'm not hiding in my home.
I don't party or drink, most encounters happen in gas stations or gyms. I respectfully turn them down as i'm taken for 11 years now by the same woman, she did approach me herself, no not the first, fourth maybe, got lucky early on.

That's really the thing, no matter how many times it happens, you have to stay respectful and kind to the approacher, it's their first time meeting you.

You ladies (most) act like the worst type of entitled brats when an unattractive male approaches. When he is an ass about it then sure, but most aren't. Most of you also want to be entertained right then and there, "come on, be original, don't be boring".

That's the main problems a lot of guys have with approaching women.

Honestly, most of you aren't even worth the hassle. Most of you are bland, boring and only offer looks. And of course sex that is you just waiting to be pleased by a mindreader while you lay there.

Back in the day it was the ladies who approached. It was also accostumed to drop a hankerchief, and they guy would pick it up. That was the pickup game.

Guys really should stop this approaching thing. Just work on yourself, we are used to be alone, it's usually the women who want relationships, then be polite if they approach, don't start the same shit on the other side, as a revenge or some BS like that.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

They might of had a bad past experience (s) Some women (not all) can be real cunts to innocent yet socially awkward guys.

I realize attractive women have to deal with being approached by people day in and day out. However always give the guy a fair chance. If he’s nervous take that as a GOOD sign because it actually means he is less of a threat. True dbags will always be very confident when approaching women (sadly it often works for them). But never be nasty off the bat no matter how unattractive the guy is if he is just saying hello. Just tell him thank you but you are not interested. Leave it at that. It’s that simple.

Anyway I will usually try to qualify the girl first. I’ll look at her hands to see if she is wearing a wedding ring. I’ll see if she has a guy around her. When I do approach I’ll make an off handed innocent comment about the environment and watch carefully how she reacts. If she ignores me or gives a one word answer (with bad body language) than I will just say “have a nice day” and move on. But if she shows good vibes I’ll start a conversation.

FlutteringFeelings · Accepted Answer

A guy being shy won’t make him miss an opportunity. If a guy is interested he’s going to approach and if the two of you cross paths and he doesn’t then that means he’s not that interested as you thought. Men go after what they want.

LindaT1974 · Accepted Answer

Shy guys are great to approach especially when they are in a group with the usual gobshite

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

I had a shy guy approach me, it was a bit awkward but it lead to a relationship that lasted 2 years.
If you are doing something in common (maybe at school, in class, church, hobby), you’ll get the courage or eventually have to approach each other.

coachTanthony · Answer

Yes they have tried like two times and gave up and joined a MGTOW Reddit thread for the rest of their lives. That is exactly how it happens. Rejection is just simply too painful for today's man.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Yes. Was in a college library. Made a paper plane with the question "whats your name?" written inside and threw it a girl sitting a few seats down. She became my first girlfriend for four years. Ultimately we broke up. It hurt like hell, but i never regretted it. After that, approaching women seemed easier.

Lionman95 · Answer

I´m not scared at it and the more I try the worse it gets. So I gave up on dating because it´s not worth it. I start to change my life instead finding hobbies, starting to improve other skills like making photos, swimming, working out. The goal is not to find a woman but be happy what I achieved at the end of the day.
I´ve stopped because it just makes me miserable because I´m not used with having to show the iniative and I need time to get creative and good ideas.
Maybe one day I´ll find a woman until that day there are things I do like getting better in certain activities and coming up with a list of creative ideas because humanity has achieved so much it´s a pity that we settle in dating for netflix&chill, cinema or just watching TV. That can´t be everything guy´s coming with in dating.

ohshee · Answer

I am an empath and I used to run from girls because I didn't understand what was going on they would call me over to talk to them and next thing I knew I would feel something inside of me I would start to sweat my eyes would turn red. My mouth is getting dry and I felt this sensual deep feeling inside of me making me go crazy I was telling myself don't get a hard-on what is going on and I'd want to run and it wasn't until little bit later on I found out that I was an empath and everything that I was feeling it was coming from them not me I am not as shy as I used to be at all and I have no problem walking up to a girl's start talking to her if I like her I wish more girls would approach me

Dragonpurple · Answer

I have social anxiety and am shy, how is that for a royally terrible combination. Made it damn near impossible to ask anyone on dates my entire life.

I have tried though, approached, been rejected, and approached some more. I find I am better via texting or chat to get to know someone first.

Randomly approaching someone in public, I can only do that to just talk about the weather or be friendly. I have never been able to ask or get a number despite my best efforts I tend to conversation vomit all over.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

I have, not sure if I qualify as a shy guy though. I don't care for small talk, it's usually pointless. Am very picky too.

Anywho approaching a woman I've never talked to or know is difficult. So many unknown questions... Is she single? Married? Has one or more guys going after her already? Is she a loser? Gold digger? Slut? Lesbian? The list goes on.

It's very easy to feel like an ass or stupid if I ask out a girl but she's taken already. Or I'm trying to steer the conversation that way then she brings up something about her boyfriend... Then I get disappointed lol and try to end the conversation.

My biggest thought when considering approaching a woman I'm interested in is will she disappoint me like all the rest have. So I hardly approach anymore. Effort towards disappointments over and over gets tiring.

Cozzy81 · Answer

Yes, This is something you learn to change with age. The older you get and the more life experiences you learn to go for it the worst case they say no and you move on. There are in most cases a 7:1 ration of women to men. As I got older and more confident O began seeing women like applying for a job. Don't just go for one and hope it works ask a few and one will say yes. Of something is meant to be it will if not there many other options. Also there is no reason to be shy. I've dated way out of my league as I got older and it was due to building confidence. You know why most great woman and gorgeous ones are with muscle bound douche bags? Because the few average guys they may have liked or given a shot never asked or was too shy and now she's with the tool. Confidence isn't hard to get it just needs practice. Rejection is a part of life stop looking for safe spaces and love your damn lives people. You get one shot at this shit don't leave any regrets.

t-8900 · Answer

Yes. I got to be shy BECAUSE of women, VERY BAD WOMEN. It wasn't a simple no or no thank you or i see you as a friend. That shit was BRUTAL. Berated in public, all that crap. Calling you out in front of hundreds of peers. Some girls are straight up b*tches and there's just no 2 ways about it. And some of that stuff leaves deep scars. And also there are other reasons like abusive mothers or women in positions of power who traumatize their male pupils.

cth96190 · Answer

I tried many times, for about 15 years.
The females here in Australia make a competitive sport out of trying to deliver the most vicious rejection.
They did not reject the bad boys and knuckle draggers, though. The women here love players and mouth breathers.
Not long after I turned 30 I had to accept that what I had to offer was not what 99.9 per cent of the female population wanted.
So, I walked away and left the carousel riders and players to get on with it.

mikee555 · Answer

A very tiny bit i have only tried asking one girl out and got rejected but i was an idiot as she never flirted with me i just found her very beautiful. I learned i shouldn't just go up to a random girl and ask her out unless there are signs she is flirting with me. Since then i haven't tried asking another girl out. Although there is this girl i like at work and said hi to her a couple times but never really had a chance to talk to her much as i work in a different department.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I was a shy guy.
But this was the girl I really really liked.
Approached her, gets rejected politely.
Now I don't give a damn about girls, no matter how beautiful they are.
Friendly talk is there, but never on that path again. And eliminate those who try to take me on that oath again.
This carelessness actually gives a lot of confidence to interact with girls!

Aethereal · Answer

Before I met my current girlfriend, I took a shot with a cute girl I met at the gym. I got her number and called later that day to arrange a date so we could get to know each other better. She didn't seem interested, didn't reply to any texts after that, and pretty much ghosted me. The encounter made me give up on approaching women. Wouldn't have a girlfriend now if I hadn't decided to try online dating for a bit after that.

JSmuve · Answer

I've done it with mixed results. Some are receptive and some aren't. The difficulty is getting her to notice you, acknowledge your existence, and be open to talking to a stranger. Most girls nowadays can't do any of these, I find. They do everything they can to avoid eye contact. And for some, their social skills are just not good. I don't think some women know how unapproachable they actually make themselves out to be, then make up excuses for why a guy didn't approach her.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I have tried but I am not just shy I have other things like anxiety and depression and no confidence in myself due to many different reasons.

The fact that people have such a stupid opinion on how guys like that is actually part of the problem. And it's pathetic. Also I have to question why it's always expected the guy goes after the girl she can approach a guy just as easily.

As well as that I try to be courteous, it doesn't seem right in many circumstances to approach due to the fact that they are busy or things like that to me it seems rude to approach at those sorts of times. I just try to do the right thing. And well I wouldn't want to accidentally approach someone below 18 as honestly it's sometimes very hard to tell. I know that may sound dodgy but I wouldn't want to ask someone out who was like 17 by accident due to the fact it would he so hard to tell.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Approaching strangers in general just seems awkward and weird and I simply don't want to.

I'd rather make friends online, then meet in person much later after I already know everything about them.

So basically the friends i meet online who are female are my dating prospects.

WhatThaPhucc · Answer

Not worth it. I can tell but the way I see females interacting around me to other guys that it would not go well. Since I'm not a Chad with muscles. My rejection rate is above 70 percent and I don't feel like being hurt and upset. Better to jus jus jerk off. Who needs girls anyway?
A hand feels jus as good

cmarrott · Answer

Yes, and it’s never ended well. I just let it happen naturally or pick from the girls that come after me. Makes me less nervous when they approach me and I act like a human being instead of a terrified kid that can’t get the right words out. At least this was when I was younger.

Juxtapose · Answer

I don't think I've gotten a single yes from cold approaching.

I only ever get dates if I can already tell that they are into me and at that point they usually ask me out on their own anyway.

I have autism so there's little I can do to improve my situation.

Anonymous · Answer

We can have all the same thoughts, feelings and insecurities women do about approaching, yet we're "expected" to be the ones to do it (most women won't). And not only that, but have to have "confidence" as well or she's most likely turned off. Have I before, yes, but very few times and "gave up" a long time ago as I've been rejected every single time. Not "worth it" to me, I'll stay single lol.

Anonymous · Answer

Yup. Ended up with an ex parte personal protection order where she claimed to have feared for her life because of me and claimed J stalked her both in person and online when I never did. So I could approach women, I just don't anymore and haven't for almost 6 years now. Not worth it to end up going through that BS again

HerKittysMeant2B8 · Answer

Yo this this right here you're sabotaging yourself don't don't fucking be afraid to approach a woman dude if you if you fucking like him walk up to that bitch and be like yo you want to fuck not literally but make an effort do somethin...

Loser94 · Answer

No I have not. Mostly because I know what a piece of crap I am and how woman want a confident independent strong willed guy and I'm not that. Plus I got serious problems controlling my emotions so I don't see a woman ever wanting to put up with my BS. Best to spare them and just let the other guys do all the talking and fun stuff with em. I'll just be a lonely hermit

Shy_Steve · Answer

I gave a Girl my number on a bit of paper once and she did call me and we had like a quick date and it went okay and at the end I asked her for another date pretty much and She said She will be working so i got the sense that she didn’t want another date.

Anonymous · Answer

Yep. Many times which is why I don't anymore. It's funny I'm not really shy anymore. Because I used to fear the rejection. Now I just don't see a relationship worthwhile. So why would I want to seek a relationship with someone who's just going to cause me more grief than joy? It may sound like i hate women. I don't. I have many as friends and I l refer to keep it that way. When you start dating women then they change. And not for the better.

normalice · Answer

So much of our self esteem relies on our belief that we can seduce women. To put it to the test is to gamble that belief in a game we don't understand.

OG956 · Answer

I was about 2 try few times, but everytime I wanted 2 approach someone who seemed pretty 2 me, I got nervous, my heart beat started 2 be faster and I always started 2 sweatin'. So then I stopped, and started ,, enjoyin'" bein' single and do things I like 2 do.

Moose304 · Answer

As a rule, I don't approach women I don't know in social settings. This is the best way I know to be asked to leave and/or get arrested. I have been known to buy her a drink, but let the barkeep handle it.

LZPanzer · Answer

Yes, I was laughed at by her and the friend next to her. It was a st Patrick's day party at the local Irish pub. So they were likely drunk, I was not drunk.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Honestly the other day when I was at church I was like “f*ck it I’m going Texan”.

So I walked right up to a girl and introduced myself. She seemed very happy I talked to her.

I looked her square in the eye and stood proudly.

I asked her how things were and if she was doing ok.

But in terms of being shy, there’s no reason to be. Just ask her simple questions about herself and don’t overcomplicate things.

PurpleMonkeySundays · Answer

Damn. A loooot of incels in the comments lol.  This website is a fucking cesspool of human waste XD

Anonymous · Answer

Of course we've fucking tried. And then got told we were sexual predators the moment we say 'hello' to a girl who doesn't find us attractive enough to not pretend is a rapist. That's why we're done trying now.

ImRetarded · Answer

I did once and then I got charged with with 1st degree sexual assault and attempted murder. Like how we supposed to trust women ya know? by the way I had a phone smuggled into my cell so responses are limited, due to security.

Seangreen · Answer

You know why I don't like to approach women because all of the Peace of shit men out there that make every woman apprehensive about whenever a man approaches them that I just don't even waste my time anymore. The Thirst is real and it's embarrassing

Openmindedman · Answer

Yup, doesn't really go well most of the time probably because I am a man of few words anyways, really don't talk much so approaching a new person I run out of things to talk about/ questions to ask. Then it's just an embarrassing awkward moment, and confidence killer.

RoccRaider241 · Answer

I recently got out of a relationship. It was a great relationship I honestly think I'll never have one like it again. Although, i get attention from women I am comfortable with my alone time at the moment.

Tee_12 · Answer

I had a crush on a shy guy n he use to look at me only when i wasn't looking they don't want to get caught i guess

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yeah, and it's PAINFULLY obvious girls aren't interested in nice guys, all they want or nasty assholes that abuse the piss out of them so, why bother?

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Yeah three times when I was a younger. Each situation was a learning experience but also fairly traumatic. At this point though, the culture has shifted to where it’s discouraged anyway.

Anonymous · Answer

Many of the shy guys I’ve been friends with have said they don’t even try especially if they feel the girl wouldn’t even like them back, or they don’t feel “good enough” for her for whatever reason.

HawkPerception · Answer

It took me a long time to be comfortable asking a girl out.

Kriss46 · Answer

I’ve learned that strapping a turbine to a bicycle and go WUSSSSHHHHHH brings way more joy then the outcome of approaching girls. Apparently they also value random football news more then me anyways. Tbh I kinda like being shy :3

MJtheCoach · Answer

Everyone is shy. We break those habits by forcing ourselves to talk to girls.  That’s hot confident is developed

Citizenkirk · Answer

Depends on how well theyarmed they are at the time

Paul09 · Answer

Yes, and I get shut down. Which doesn't help my case. But it's more anxiety than shyness. Or abit of both. I haven't in a long time. Especially with covid times. Seems not worth it, just do keep getting hurt.

RealMarek · Answer

I got over shyness enough to approach women, but found online dating was more comfortable and worked well for me.

red324 · Answer

I never ask the first time around when the opportunity is there like at a restuarant, so instead i'll decide to go back several times and she'll never be there. lol

noohair · Answer

Most guys try and when they get laughed at, they stop.

patrick677 · Answer

I never go to a woman first. If really i see a wonderful woman i will not hesitate to rin after her 🤣

AdithyaR · Answer

Nope, haven't yet, haven't found the courage to do it, and I don't seem to find anyone who seems they'd be compatible with me.

GenerallyNervous · Answer

Honestly no, and I'm embarrassed by that fact. I have 2 ex's. One of them approached me in a bar. The other was a college classmate who lived in my building, and we walked home together every day for months before she eventually asked me out

Luopio27 · Answer

You are not 105 years old. Just pointing this out on irs own is scary enough ;-)!!!

Shiningtempest · Answer

@on_cloud_wine I don't approach women because I don't want to deal with the unpredictability that comes with approaching women in a social setting.

poneglyphs · Answer

Yeah got ghosted a couple of times and stood up the rest ☹☹☹

Wowboi · Answer

Shy, caring, thoughtful, scared are some of the worst traits a man can have. They're recipe for failure

Bismarck_96 · Answer

I found a easy way just approach and start a convo and let time do the rest well also we got to work with the time

Nigjt · Answer

Yes but I am very nervous an my heart beats way to fast so sometimes even when I can tell it's still to hard for me to do so. God Bless

DevinAM · Answer

Yes, but I freeze and can't say anything. I tried a note once, but when she attempted to speak with me after, I was too embarrassed to even look at her.

Anonymous · Answer

No and with the societal situation I wouldn't want to either

Staximus · Answer

I try to be nice but they are always scared of me. I'm too intense

Shy guys who are scared to approach women, have you ever tried?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I'm afraid to approach girls at clubs. Are you truly receptive to having guys approach you there?

Shy guys who are scared to approach women, have you ever tried?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I'm afraid to approach girls at clubs. Are you truly receptive to having guys approach you there?

We're glad to see you liked this post.