I'm afraid to approach girls at clubs. Are you truly receptive to having guys approach you there?

[Anonymous]

I was at the club tonight. However I am always afraid to approach any girl. The environment seems like it's too difficult, and that most there already think that any guy who approaches them for any reason just wants sex (even if i do crave sex) Clubs seem like hostile environments.

Should I approach? Using no pick up lines, but rather just saying "hi, my name is.. whats yours?" What's everyone's take? Girls, how do you feel about guys approaching you at clubs? Do many of you go there just to meet guys?

[Anonymous]

When i go clubbing, i go to dance and have a fun night. If I'm single, having a cute guy come and talk to me can be very flattering and exciting. As long as he's respectful and sincere. The approach you suggested is great for most girls (only really shy or young girls might be a little unsure of how to respond, so being friendly and asking questions is useful).

But the thing that makes clubs hostile, is often the sexually aggressive/inappropriate guys who seem to be lurking at every club. The ones who grab at girls when they are passing by, glare at them for hours, try to hump them from behind on the dance floor when they don't even know the guys there.

You hear about so many cases of girls having drinks spiked or being sexually assaulted after a night out that i think most girls are weary of guys who just want one thing from them. Especially if they have been drinking heavily, it's kind of like having a gorilla loose in a china shop (and the girls are the china). They can also say some pretty mean things if you reject them. (which often happens because the girl doesn't feel safe)

Obviously not all guys are like that, keeping it light, friendly, asking for her number so you could take her out one night... Non threatening is the way to go.

[Asker]

I understand exactly what you're saying. I will keep in mind how you feel if your single and will try to be a gentleman, if I can work up the courage to talk to an attractive girl like yourself. I hate how the guys act in the clubs, douchbags acting all macho, though I thought some girls liked that as I see them with girls a lot. So a "cold approach" in a bar/club is ok, as long as its sober and sane?

[Opinion Owner]

Lol yes exactly:)

[washize]

I'm not, but I don't speak for everyone with a vagina at the club.

IT is a hit or miss honestly, many people go to the club for different reasons. there are guys and girls there that trade sexual favors for drugs. There are people there who just want to dance. There are people who go there to hook up.

You really won't know until you ask. Even if someone does shoot you down aggressively/kindly, don't sweat it, its a fucking club.

[silencewillfall]

I prefer a sincere guy who doesn't get creepy about it. Most guys just start dancing on a girl and or don't understand the word no and use cheesy lines. Being respectful is key

[Asker]

I see that a lot too. I just figured thats what guys do in there. Basic conversation is seen as boring from what it sounded.

[silencewillfall]

Conversation itself is hard since it's so loud. Some girls don't want to be bothered by anyone. I am one of those that barely goes to clubs due to the negatives I mentioned.

[KhaysunDei]

I go there beating people up with my bible and scepter hA HAHEHEHEHAH!!! and i'm not even christian lolz.

[KhaysunDei]

hmmm, i've never really been to a club before. it's not really my tastes because there's a lot of... stuff... i don't like happening there. I think club people are more sexually driven, so if you want a date or to find a good partner, check out college campuses.

[Sarah_cheeky_tease]

I don't mind it but most guys stare at u for ever. Man up and just walk over say hi.

I personally like make first move

[Asker]

I just thought most girls would be suspicious of guys approaching them there. Are you open if things become flirty and somewhat suggestive, and possibly a guy asking for your number?

[Sarah_cheeky_tease]

Nothing wrong with it butost guys just do same thing. Say hi ask some old questions (age job what u study ect) then offer buy u drink.
U need to be different to stand out and make an impact.
I'm open give out my number and meeting him in a public place at a later date but never go home with him so I wouldn't even bother trying

[Asker]

Oh no, trying to get a girl to go home with me would never be my intention. I'm sensitive to how a girl feels. Also, I wouldn't buy a drink for her either. Just seems too obvious. The problem, as you've said. is trying to be different and make an impact. Saying "hi" is too boring?

[Sarah_cheeky_tease]

Saying hi is fine and asking a few general questions early on fine but u want chat to flow and be unpredictable. We will get bored and look else where if we know what's coming

[Asker]

Yeah, true. That's what I'm trying to figure out. How to make it interesting, unpredictable and funny. Without coming across as just a guy out for sex.