Is rock wall climbing a date?

[Anonymous]

A guy friend suggested I go rock wall climbing with him (I know he is really good). When I said I probably put could not keep up with him, he said he’d take me on a tour of cool places around the city, and that it would take several hours. Is he soft asking me on a date?

Updates

+1 y

Update: we have been messaging since the Zoom and today he tells me about a picture of his he really likes and that he wants to look at when he is old to remember “sexier times”, and then makes a big deal about how his ethnic group “ages well naturally” so he will look good when he is older.

He also mentioned his tattoo (on his arm).

Updates

+1 y

Went rock climbing and on a mini tour today. Still not sure it was a date. He paid for rock climbing and coffee, I paid for lunch (and I brought some dessert with me from my friend’s bakery). Here’s the deets:
- we hugged at the beginning and the end. Full body long hugs.
- we talked and the conversation was free flowing and really natural. We talked about funny, deep, political, silly and personal stuff. He said at the end of the date it was like no time had passed.
- he said I look “so fit”

Updates

+1 y

-he said I look “really healthy” and that it’s obvious I eat healthy and am active
- he was super supportive on the rock walls
- he said he would like to show me around a different part of the area I also don’t know well
- he suggested that I go with him and a friend couple of his to a winery in another town farther north, which would be really hard to make in a day trip
- when I texted him I had so much fun, he sent me a red heart emoji and said he’d like a similar tour of my city sometime.

[ChrisMaster69]

Potentially, however a date is only a date if both parties say it is.

it’s amazing how you can send mixed messages doing something fun with opposite sex, one the thinks it’s a date, then tries to reciprocate and it bombs.

I am firmly of the opinion that at the end of the day or 3/4 through, someone actually says, along lines of ‘this has been a great date, thank you’

its then in the open and can be replied to there and then or later,

For example if he thought it was a date and you thought he was just being a nice guy, you could find yourself being dated without knowing and it does happen lol.

[The_Maphio]

Dating doesn't necessarily need a table and some drinks on it to be categorized as so.
You're sharing an experience, and he (or you) have been invited over to share time together.
It's most definitely a date.

[Asker]

That’s a super helpful explanation.

[DarkCarousel]

The first part where he invited you to climb with him could go either way. Once he added the show you around the city part, it leads me to think he's asking you on a date.

Rock climbing sounds fun. I can't imagine that it's very romantic but it could be a fun ice breaker type of date.

[Siren777]

Yes I would consider that a date. Unless he mentioned otherwise or involved other friends to tag along.

[Asker]

He did not mention anyone else, even though we have people in common he could have invited. And he did not give any “just as friends” disclaimers, either. 🤔

[Siren777]

Tag along and see what happens. You don't have to say anything about a "date" let hime mention it. If he is flirty and teases you or shows any signs that he likes you. Then it could be considered a date. See how things unfold, don't stress about it. Enjoy yourself.

[MannMitAntworten]

For some couples it is. Seems for you, it is not your idea of a date but are curious if the included activity constitutes a date... well, that is for you alone to decide.

[Asker]

It definitely could be a good date. I just do t have much experience so I don’t want to make a fool of myself. He is really good (he boulders) so I think he maybe wants to show off.

[MannMitAntworten]

I doubt it is showing off he is trying to do. He is likely trying to get you interested so you will start coming along with him.

[Asker]

Wow, I had not really thought about him wanting me to come with him regularly. I sure hope so! I really enjoy his company.

[MannMitAntworten]

Hope you two work out.

[JosyJosy]

It can be, it could just be hanging out, it could not be.

[Asker]

Right? But he was sort of flexing his biceps and moving his arms unnecessarily. And today he has made a few comments about a picture of himself that he likes because someday he’ll want to look back and remember “sexier times”, then he made a comment about “oh and you know [his ethnic group], we don’t really age much so we look good when we are old.”

That’s flirting right? I mean, my other guy friends don’t say that stuff unless they are blatantly trying to hit it.

[JosyJosy]

Doesn't matter if it is flirting or not, if you like him you flirt with him.

[Asker]

I’d love your best suggestions on ways to flirt with him.

[JosyJosy]

I'd disappoint you :p
I usually just ask them out for a date the moment I know for sure that I like him. The rest is just laughing a lot together, being physically close to eachother, and a loooot of talking to create a stronger bond

[RingOfFire]

Rock climbing is a date alright. But I think it's a date not to many girls are fond of. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[RingOfFire]

Update comment:

OY!

[Asker]

Oy? Please tell me more…

[RingOfFire]

Don't mean it in a bad way. Just thinking you should stop the guessing game and go on a date with the guy if you are inclined to do that. See what happens. 🙂

[Asker]

thank you! Yeah, sometimes he just says these little things and I brush them off but my other guy friends don’t talk like that. I am super excited to go do something with him. He sort of left the ball in my court so now I just need to figure out how to pick it up. 🧐

[RingOfFire]

I'm excited FOR you! Go get'em girl! 👍🏼

[MTC29]

Yes, he's asking you out on a date. Of course if at the end of the tour of the city, if he presents you with a bill, it means that he's a tour guide.

[Joshua0213]

Seems like it but if he doesn't mention date its hard to know

[Asker]

That’s what I thought, too. We have known each other for years and been casual friends. The invite surprised me.

[CrotchRot]

Yes, he is asking you on a date.

Have fun climbing his rock. I mean, oops.

[Anonymous]

It depends if you feel comfortable enough. He might, but if you don't. Then it can turn awkward right away.

[kingkathyy]

why don’t you just ask him?

[Asker]

I’ve never been good at that. If you have a suggested way to ask, I’d love to know.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Sounds like a damn good date to me.

[Asker]

I’ve only climbed a little bit so I was worried I’d embarrass myself. Not the way I want things to go. But then I thought, maybe he just wants to show off.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Only way to get better at something is to work at it. Personally I like any date that is more physically demanding than just sitting and talking. That's why hiking is one of my favorite dates. But that requires more trust. A climbing wall is more public. Either way, it's more important to enjoy yourself than to look cool doing it, especially if it's your first time.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

no such thing as "guy friend"

Maybe when you were 5, sure!

[Asker]

So, this guy is just waiting around for a chance?

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

yeah

[Asker]

We have been friends for literally 20 years…

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

you only think that

besides, all you're doing is holding him back. and he, you

[Anonymous]

It sure sounds like a date.

[Opinion Owner]

And he sounds somewhat narcissistic.

[Asker]

Yeah, he loves attention but acts like he doesn’t.

[Opinion Owner]

He may just be nervous and looking for things to talk about, or it could be a red flag.

[Asker]

Good point to watch, thank you. His comments made sense in the full conversation, other than it would have made much more sense for him to say the word “young” instead of sexy. That’s why it stood out so much. He does lots of little things, like I asked him for basically his favorite road trip songs and he sent me a bunch of love songs where the guys are crazy about women they can’t have. It’s so subtle that I doubt it until I step back and ask others.

[Opinion Owner]

I get the impression he's trying very hard to seduce you.

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like the two of you get along well and he wants to take it to the next level.

[exitseven]

It sounds like he is.

[FilmGuy93]

Sounds like a date, yes.

[moejoeloli]

It is! Not a “surprise “ date tho

[Iron_Man]

Yes plus the tour You’re going on