How do I solve this argument, tmi question?

[Anonymous]

okay So tmi question but basically my boyfriend likes me sending him p*orn videos when he's in the mood and we’re not together. So a few nights ago we were texting he was jerking off at home. It was really late , i was tired and he said a few times omg I can’t find any good p*orn videos.

He is really fussy with videos so I thought I wouldn’t bother to help him find a video and let him do it himself this time and it was late. Eventually I went to sleep and the next day he’s been annoyed at me for not getting the hint for helping him find a good video to jerk to, he’s really mad and says it’s put him off ever doing phone sex things with me (we love doing those things) I’m really upset. What do I do? He’s not really been texting me since then

[ohshee]

How old is he that's a real stupid reason to be upset at you I don't really understand it myself he had you on the phone light how come you just get that phone sex that's 10 times hotter then watching porn video I would rather made it about you. I made made have a couple orgasms forget the video

[Not_Average]

That sounds so toxic. You guys shouldn’t be watching porn together or at all. You should only focus on each other sexually.

[Asker]

It’s only when we’re apart

[Not_Average]

You’re lusting and masturbating to others when you’re apart. That doesn’t set up good ground work for loyalty in the future. Porn will ruin your sex life and perception of the opposite sex. It makes you more likely to cheat. It makes you become dissatisfied with your partner. It makes you sexualize everyone around you who’s attractive. It opens a lot of doors. Just look at the studies behind it. If you look at some of my old posts here I was always saying porn isn’t a big deal. I didn’t realize porn was a big deal until I stopped and realized that I had been getting myself off like this since I was 14. It just has a lot of consequences and I’d recommend both of you stop all together and focus on sex between you and him. Don’t lust after anyone else

[spartan55]

@Not_Average
Watching porn makes you more likely to cheat? Don't think so. Porn has nothing to do with loyalty.

[boggboss]

Have a conversation about him acting like a child and punishing you for being tired

[Asker]

Do you not think I’m in the wrong? He said I didn’t get the obvious hints too

[boggboss]

Lol just because hebis horny don't mean u have to find porn vids for him lol why do I have to explain this its not your job to find his porn

[Asker]

I get that, but it’s a thing we’ve done before, he likes it when I send him stuff so I think he’s annoyed I didn’t help this time

[boggboss]

Lol if your fine and happy having to do that any time he is hormy then good for u but thats a unreasonable request lol u could be busy or like said tired skipping 1 session is not a issue

[Asker]

Yeah I said I didn’t really think I could find any he likes and he’s really upset with me and basically said he’s really over it

[boggboss]

He is acting like a spoiled child

[Asker]

How?

[Asker]

He said I Don’t make an effort or listen to hints , I feel he’s being overly harsh on me

[boggboss]

¹he is saying no phone sex and essently giving u the silent treatment for on 1 occasion u not doing what he asked again how am I having to explain this

[Asker]

Why do you think he is being like this?

[boggboss]

Bevause he is either immature or not use to not getting his own way

[Asker]

He says he would do anything for me so I guess he’s annoyed I didn’t get the hint he wanted me to do it, I feel stuck I’m not sure how to solve it because he says he’s over it

[boggboss]

Is this your first relationship? Because its crazy how submissive u are to basic toxic behaviour

[Asker]

I’m kind of clueless lol what do you suggest I do? At the moment he is mad and not texting back, honestly not sure if he’s gonna break up with me Cos he seems over it

[boggboss]

What u need to understand is that how he is acting and behaving is not normal and is toxic I get it you like or love him but that dont mean u should put up with shit behaviour what he is doing is manipulation and shit u shouldn't need to fix this because u have done nothing wrong

[Asker]

He says that I’ve ruined things for him when it comes to phone sex. Which I don’t want that, wasn’t my intention I was just tired and didn’t think I could find a good video Cos he fussy. I did make him horny in the first place Cos we were dirty talking, sorry tmi lol that’s why he wanted me to help him I guess

[boggboss]

Lol everything u just said is irrelavent lol like I said in my last statement just because he says somthing don't mean its a fact

[Asker]

I feel bad though, I’m too soft lol I’m worried he will break up with me

[boggboss]

If he breaks up with u over this then he never truly liked u he was just using u for lust

[Asker]

He says he loves me , I love him too guess that’s why I’m really soft, honestly it kind of helps you think I’m not in the wrong Cos I felt really guilty

[boggboss]

Iys really upsetting me reading your responses because this is a prime example off how women end up getting played how can he love u when he is punishing you for being tired does that sound like love

[Asker]

I didn’t really tell him that’s why I didn’t send anything , I was really tired that’s part of it but also because i didn’t think I’d find anything good for me , and he thought how could I not get the obvious hint , maybe he thinks I don’t make an effort or care

[boggboss]

If u still think its your fault then I guess we are done here

[Asker]

I don’t think it’s my fault

[Asker]

I don’t think it’s a thing we should even be fighting or mad about

[boggboss]

No it shouldn't but who is the one making it a thing

[Asker]

Ya no idea why he’s being like this

[boggboss]

Ita pretty obvious why

[Goatmeal]

The relationship can't work if his masturbation is more important than your sleep. You are not his servant.

[anylolone]

Lol, that's weird.
Why can't he search for his own porn, like you do?

[Asker]

Cause we normally do send each other videos we like, but this time I didn’t cause I was tired too and didn't really think I’d find anything good

[anylolone]

Ohh...

You be dating a little bitch. Tell him to stop being such a codependent bitch.

[Wise4myage]

What kind of man does that shit? He sounds like a real selfish prick. Let him get over his "hurt".

[Shah11]

He don't know you're tired right?

[Asker]

He knew I was tired, but I think he really wanted me to help I just didn’t get the hint

[Shah11]

It's not a big deal once he get horny he will come to u relax.

[joeldalton]

He sounds like a dork. Why do you put up with it?

[Luckycharms12]

He sounds childish

[Asker]

In what way?

[Luckycharms12]

Being pissed off didn't send him video.