How to deal with a awkward gym crush?

[Anonymous]

I’ve (f20s) been attending a hot studio consistently for about 6 months, I’ve done over 100 classes! Most of classes are made up of women and few men rarely attended. The few that do are either married, unattractive or closeted yoga pervs. There is a guy (30s, professional, Ivy League educated) in my class who is starting to grow on me. He’s Eastern European, quiet and kinda awkward. I noticed in classes that he looks over at me on a regular basis but we finally spoke earlier this week. He sat next to me in a class and I initiated our convo. He was very engaging and maintenance good, healthy body language. He offered to give me his contact, after classes he left immediately with saying goodbye but he looked at me while he was leaving.

Today I was in class and he was there. Rather than sitting in his usual area he was close to my corner. I noticed throughout class he glanced over in my direction, at times I tried to meet his eyes but he would turn too quickly. As he was leaving I was chatting with the girls at the desk, he looked at me as he said goodbye to us, I was mid conversation and didn’t want to me rude so I gave a quick glance. On my way to my car I gave a simple greeting and he returned it, this time he didn’t look up. Do I have reason to believe that he may be interested or should I just leave him alone?

[kyleelyn199723]

Eh it sounds like he’s either very shy or uninterested. Honestly I almost want to say he seems uninterested. There’s been a ton of times throughout this situation where he could’ve gotten your number of some sort and to me it seems like he’s distancing himself now that he knows you are trying to make advances. I would just play it cool. Don’t try to initiate contact and just wait for him and see if he try’s to initiate contact again

[kyleelyn199723]

Also congrats on your fitness journey! You go girl for doing 100 classes!

[Asker]

Thanks for the reply. While this is first time doing 100 classes at this studio I am familiar with gym/studio etiquette. I have a friend who is a guy who goes to yoga and shared with me that he doesn’t talk to most girls at yoga because he doesn't want to be labeled as a yoga perv. I do agree that I should relax on initiating things but believe me when I say he’s very quiet/reserved.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker I go to the gym regularly also and your friend is correct 100% , but yeah I’d just decrease initiating convo as well and see if he tries to get into contact with you.

[AncientWisdom]

You will never know unless you ask him or he builds up to ask you. Men these days must be careful. Women behave badly if an unattractive or average Joe tries to talk to them. He gets called a creep and socially assassinated these days. He may very well like you , but one of the worst places to hit on a woman is a gym. They do not like it , if you read what they say about it. Its unfortunate but todays women are dangerous its like Russian roulette.

[Asker]

I agree with most of what you said. I’ll be frank he’s not the most attractive but I’ve learned over time I care more about a man’s intelligence than looks. I do agree that the gym isn’t the best place to meet people but when you see the same guy for half a year you see him a bit differently.

[AncientWisdom]

That is awesome. I too love a person with a mind. What did you disagree with in my opinion

[AncientWisdom]

If he’s not that attractive he probably does like you if you see him looking at you on the down low like you describe. He just is being careful. Rejection teaches people very quickly to be careful.

[Avicenna]

If you like, him, get to know him better

[Asker]

How do you suggest I do that? Every time he sees me I don’t want him to think “great, now I have to talk to this girl again”

[AncientWisdom]

Its amazing how females think this way. Men do not think like women , no man I ever knew got mad at a girl for being interested him. that's how women behave not men.

[Avicenna]

@AncientWisdom: Exactly. We love it when women are interested.

[spartan55]

Definitely true.

[Asker]

So I definitely understand that men like to be wanted but how do I go about interacting him w/o coming off as crazy/desperate. Like he’s not an unattractive guy but he’s not conveniently attractive either. I told my yoga gal pal that I think he’s worth getting to know and she laughed (playfully) in my face and didn’t believe that I was interested in him. I think he’s really smart but as I’ve said he’s very reserved.

Also I fear that I may be shooting my shot in the dark. I don’t look like most of the women I’m my class, I’m tall, light skinned, hour glass and I have tattoos. I’m usually the only black person in the studio at a time. I say all of this because my fellow yogis are all white, blond, tiny and pull their leggings so far up that it create a bubble butt.. A lot of the older (white) women in class have complimented me by referring to me as ‘statuesque’.

[Avicenna]

Just be friendly. You‘ll never come off badly by being friendly. And you show him your personality.

[Avicenna]

You have nothing to lose

[spartan55]

How do you know that he is Ivy League educated?

[Asker]

While we were chatting we shared the colleges we attended

[spartan55]

Sounds like you should talk to him some more.