Does Watching Other People Eat Make You Sad?

[HighlyVolatile]

I got this thing sometimes when I'm at a restaurant or I watch videos and I see people eating and it makes me really sad and I want to help them but I don't know how to do it. If I knew how I could do it then I'd help them but I don't know how to do it.

It could be complete strangers like an old man with a beard or even people I dislike a little bit but it makes me sad when I see them eat. I think I am reminded of their mortality when they do it. I don't know how to protect them from death and suffering and I don't think anyone really deserves it. They just want to eat their food and they enjoy and I don't want them to suffer.

I'm probably a crazy person. I don't mind if I die. I've trained for that. But I don't think other people should suffer and die. I see them eat and it reminds me that they breathe and have to eat and so forth and it makes me a bit sad.

Who am I supposed to fight, you know, that they don't have to suffer? Like what I am supposed to do? That's kind of my crazy thinking sometimes. I don't want to intrude but I don't want them to suffer. And I don't know how to take it away from them; I just want them to enjoy their meal as much as they can.

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1 y

Also for psychology people out there, is there a sort of neurosis of this sort?

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1 y

I watched a history documentary the other day about Renaissance cooking and seeing the actors eat made me sad. What's going on with me? :-D Maybe I'm diverting something? It might be like a dislike of death and mortality. I dunno. I just felt incredibly sad watching the actors reenacting a Renaissance dinner (and they were portraying nobles and aristocrats) just eating food and smiling. Like, "You should be happy this way forever!"

[DenizLikesTennis]

I'd also refer eating as a symbol of survival and satisfaction. In WW2 there were times, as it's been mentioned, where there was starvation, slavery, turmoil and torment. You have probably thought that if someone eats, it's a symbol of someone who starved during a major crisis and satisfies his important needs to feel better. A sign of Morality. Terrible Events are no fun. You'd carry such in your heart and mind.

As ironic as it may sound but the brain plays a major role during this state.

the brain can be divided into three main parts: the reptilian, mammalian, and neomammalian brain. This triune brain model believes that each part of the brain has specific functions.

The reptilian part > Flee or fight response (ringing alarm, Intruder in the house, Getting chased by a killer).

So it houses our survival instincts and manages autonomic body processes such as our heart rate, breathing, hunger, and thirst.

The mammalian part >
helps us process emotions like joy and fear and regulates our attachment style.

And the last but not least the neomammalian brain > processing the information

Surely, I wouldn't find it bad that you care for them.

[DenizLikesTennis]

If it's turning excessively like caring for a newborn child then I'd make an appointment with the therapist and talk with him about it.

I've been there too when I battled severe Depression

[DenizLikesTennis]

Also, what I'd like to add about the reptilian brain is that if someone is overly sensitive... then holy hell... he'll have an insane uncontrolling reaction

[HighlyVolatile]

I think that one broke mostly in my brain! :-D I got the two other ones mostly, I think. The middle part is missing.

[DenizLikesTennis]

😂😂😂 hahahaha nice one

[HighlyVolatile]

Or maybe the lowest part? The reptilian one with the flight or flight. I think I broke that one as a kid. I got mostly the mammalian one and maybe a little bit of the neomammalian one.

[HighlyVolatile]

Mostly the amygdala part. I think I lost that one. I used to have it but I lost it as a kid.

[lightbulb27]

You have strong caring sense and savior aspect. I hadn’t felt like that regarding food but I sometimes


Is it possible you didn’t get some nurturing from parents? My theory from my own life is that wounds control… or rather… strong emotions are what controls feelings and they can be used for good or bad. So lack of something in childhood means you want to give that to others. Personality plays big part in this… like how the experience is translated. Some people may go the other direction and be vindictive… you have a giving and nurturing heart with an intense side. Lookup the concept of ‘caregiver’ and see if it’s you.
Probably would have made a great fighter pilot!

[Apulu_Imback]

How does it makes you sad? Like their eating way or what they are eating?

For me no it doesn't makes me sad at all. Actually sometimes I watch Mukbang ASMRs too. I don't know why it is satisfying for me to watch someone eat well. Genes maybe, like my grandma, aunts and mom always say me to eat well and stuff and give me much food so that I can eat well. In future I guess I will be that grandma who will overfeed her grandchildren haha. But yes I do feel pity when I watch someone sulking while eating their meal (for example a kid not wanting to eat salad).

[HighlyVolatile]

I think I might have been able to pinpoint it with my conversations with @LaFemmeFatale_1. My father constantly told us about starvation and WW2 while we ate growing up so maybe my brain has associated eating with dying. That's one of the best explanations I've discovered so far.

[Apulu_Imback]

Oh I got it now! It was all because of that Famine. I got the point. Well I would have been like you too if I was in your place. It's normal don't worry.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nope. It makes me feel happy they have enough food to eat.

Many people in poor countries are not that lucky.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We will die.

All of us. Don’t let it sadden you. Instead, smile, knowing they are still alive.

[HighlyVolatile]

Oddly I've been around various parts of the world and the tougher and hardened ones living in poverty don't make me feel that way as much. Maybe I think of them as kin in my pretentious way. It is the "soft" ones that make me feel sad like chubby men, soft-looking women, kids, babies, cute animals, elderly people.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oh, probably because they look cute and fluffy.

I usually feel more related to toughened and hardened ones, and feel sorry for them. For them, life is an everyday battle for survival. There are no days off. If you relax, you’ll die.

I also feel very sorry for elderly and animals. Not so much for children, because I had a very hard childhood, very very hard one and it only made me a strong person.

I know those children will survive and will become much stronger than anyone could imagine. Good for them.

The elderly and animals though, they don’t have much to look forward to, they don’t have a long life ahead of them, I just want to hug them and make their last years beautiful.

[HighlyVolatile]

I like this style! Maybe I am too biased toward the cute ones though. I don't feel so much for toughened and hardened ones because I think they are "ready". Or maybe I want to put "we" in there even if I don't belong.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Maybe there’s a memory deep in your subconscious reminding you of some negative things associated with eating?

It’s also possible they remind you of human mortality, and in the end your own mortality.

Just like some people laughing at funerals, because subconsciously they are so scared of death they brush the feelings off by the opposite emotion - laugh.

[HighlyVolatile]

That might have something to do with it. My father survived a severe famine during WW2 in Japan. He also lost his little sister to it almost like in the film, Hotaru no Haka (aka Grave of the Fireflies). But his little sister didn't die of starvation. His home was hit by a bomb and everyone fled and scattered to the Shizuoka river and his little sister died at the river. They diagnosed her with just "shock" at the hospital.

But he always told me about it growing up while eating things like fishbones and pork eyeballs and talking about having so little food. I never experienced his trauma but maybe that's why.

[HighlyVolatile]

I also wanted to experience what it was like to live like him during WW2 so I sometimes went for 2 weeks without eating and sleeping on park benches overnight. I just wanted to be able to relate to what that was.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think that might be the reason… You associate that traumatic event to the process of eating and you feel sad, without knowing why… It reminds you of death because you’ve been told these stories when you were eating…

I am sorry for your father’s painful past.

My boyfriend is Chinese, when we lived together, I used to throw the products away as soon as they got close to the expiration day, my boyfriend would always ask me not to do this and appreciate food more.

His parents also went through the great famine and his uncle even died of hunger as a child. So, he knows it’s not a good thing to throw the food away, unlike me, even though I had a bad childhood, I have never been a part of such tragic historical episode.

[HighlyVolatile]

I got the whole "don't throw any food away," thing a lot! But at the same time, I don't want to be fat. :-D

[HighlyVolatile]

That makes so much sense what you said though about associating eating with death! I think I understand myself a tiny bit better now. Thanks so much!

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Same for my boyfriend, he’s in a great shape and he’s always concerned about his body, I guess this is something common for Asians.

We are long distance for two years already :( now due to strict lockdown in China and I gained 4 kg, which he encourages me to lose. I am not fat in the European standard but in Asian standard 52 kg is chubby I think. However, I don’t have much motivation to lose weight when he’s so far from me, I am really depressed because of it.

But after all, I am hitting the gym today, will try to finally cut these 4 kgs off.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am happy if you understand yourself better ^^

[HighlyVolatile]

Asian standard is too tight in my opinion like the idea that women should always be 50kg or under. No room for muscle! I like women with some muscle. My wife is close to 60kg but she has some muscle.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks for MHO ^^

[WonderBell99]

No, not really. I don’t know how to put this in a nice way, but whenever I see people eat, I only have two reactions:

- I would either be happy that they have food to eat and are not starving

OR

- I am completely indifferent to them and mind my own business. I am usually this way when I’m preoccupied with my own thoughts or just too tired.

You have a high level of empathy and that’s okay. It probably has something to do with something that happened on your childhood. Your childhood affects your adulthood.

[WonderBell99]

in your childhood*

yikes, I don't know wtf is going on with my keyboard. I think this is my cue to go to bed! I’ve been making too many spelling errors

[WonderBell99]

Oh, and also add hungry to that list, lol.

I do get hungry whenever I see someone eat delicious food

[dustybiker]

If you had a party and you fed your friends do you feel the same way?

[HighlyVolatile]

I think it's less so when I'm actively participating. It's a strange thing that happens to me sometimes when I'm watching a movie or something like that.

[dustybiker]

Makes sense.

[Yucy_Gluttony]

No it makes me hungrier. When I look at others eating it means I'm still waiting for my food to arrive!

[Yucy_Gluttony]

You should be a waiter or a chef! You will then get to serve them and give them (AND ME) the best meal ever!

[LovingLoverReturned]

It makes me humanize them and feel compassion... not sadness. I enjoy seeing people eat because I'm empathetic.

[IceCreamSandwich]

I've never had that happen, no. Usually i see eating as a good thing.

[Valso]

Eating - no. Making out - yes. It reminds me what I'll never have.

[ALewis30]

No it doesn't

[HighlyVolatile]

I think I might need some therapy; in Japan it's psychotherapy is not very popular at all.

[TrillXHippy]

No it does not

[skyeee_]

sad no. hungry yes.