Did I hurt him? Was I really mean?

[Anonymous]

We planned to meet on Sunday for first date. We set the day and time on Monday but no place. We didn’t talk on until Saturday night.

He said ” Hi. I have been sick for couple of days and I don’t I’ll be alright for couple of days. Is it okay if we meet couple dates later. What’s your schedule for next week?
Me: I wish you speedy recocery. I kinda knew that we won’t meet on Sunday since I hadn’t heard from you and we hadn’t even set the place.
Him: Sorry. I thought That it would’ve have gotten better sooner and I would’ve texted you then.
Me: I can meet next week on Wednesday or Thursday evening

[PastorJohn69]

No not mean. If he asked you on the date, then he was tasked with setting the place, and to wait until last minute to say something... that is so thoughtless.
So if he was disappointed, it was his fault,
You are giving him another chance... so mighty sweet of you

[Asker]

I think now he could be really mad that I was late on first date even when he said that he wasn’t. I actually set the time for our date to be 19:30. He agreed. He informed me that he will be little bit late 30 min before 19:30. He asked if he could meet 19:45. He also called me but I couldn’t answer his call. I texted him and said it’s okay if he’s late. Then 19:55 he was there. Then I texted him and said I’m actually late and I eventually was there 19:35

[Asker]

Sorry I was there 20:35

[PastorJohn69]

If he was upset at being late, then why did he hold onto that and let it ruin the evening.
If was into you, wouldn't the normal response be.. ok you are here... let's have a good night...

[Asker]

He said that it was ok. When later I asked what he thought about when we met “ do you mean when you was late? I forgot about that long time ago”
Why did he brought it up if he wasn’t mad…

[Asker]

Maybe he got mad that I was late because it got time for me to get ready

[Asker]

I didn’t have a good reason for being late

[PastorJohn69]

Guess it upset him enough he couldn't get past it

[Asker]

If he wasn’t upset he wouldn’t brought it again, right?

[Anonymous]

Did he respond? I don't think what ya said was mean though.

[Asker]

I didn’t first answer to him when he asked is it okay to reschedule the date.

[Opinion Owner]

So ya just got back to him?

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

Cause ya said you didn't answer him at first. So im asking whether ya just responded to him until now?

[Asker]

I did respond to him and we set new date. But I’m afraid that I was rude to him

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think ya were tbh. Ya were just being honest. If he's not upset about it, then I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Asker]

I think now he could be really mad that I was late on first date even when he said that he wasn’t. I actually set the time for our date to be 19:30. He agreed. He informed me that he will be little bit late 30 min before 19:30. He asked if he could meet 19:45. He also called me but I couldn’t answer his call. I texted him and said it’s okay if he’s late. Then 19:55 he was there. Then I texted him and said I’m actually late and I eventually was there 20:35

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if he gets mad or if he ultimately decides to stop seeing you, you will know. As for right now, try not to assume things. If he told you that he isn't mad, then don't overthink things. Things happen, he should know that... given that he canceled the first date. He should be understanding as to why you were late, the same way you were understanding when he wanted to reschedule the date.

[Asker]

He ultimated wanted to stop see me…

[Opinion Owner]

Ah, then that's how ya know he was mad, afterall. Oh well, ya gave it a shot though. Time to move on, find someone better.

[Asker]

I don't know if he will come around when the dust has settled….

[Asker]

He said on Monday that he didn’t want to see me again. When I called him on Wednesday he answered my phone call right away. Why didn’t he just ignore my phone call?
During our phone call he said that he doesn’t understand why I removed him from my Instagram and also he said hurtful things to me…

[Asker]

He said that it was radical that I unfollowed him.

[Opinion Owner]

Did you remove him from Instagram after he said he didn't want to see you anymore?

[Asker]

Yes.

[Opinion Owner]

Then he has no reason to get mad at you for that. You're well within your rights to unfollow him if ya want, especially after he told you he no longer wanted to see you. What does he expect? Lol... for you to stick around? And tbh, the fact he answered your phone call right away on Wednesday, makes me think this is some power trip for him. He wants to see whether you will beg for him to come back. And he still cares, that's why he's mad that you unfollowed him. Seems like he's playing games.

[Asker]

I kinda did beg when I called him. I asked for a second chance…

[Asker]

One of the first things he said was that he wanted to call me on Monday but he noticed that I had removed him from instagram and then decided not to. He said that it was radical that I unfollowed him.

[Opinion Owner]

That's what he wanted. I don't think ya should give in to his manipulative tactics anymore.

[Asker]

Do you still think that he cares? I definitely won’t reach out to him again.

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't call it radical. He said he didn't want to see you anymore, so you unfollowed him as a way to move on. It's not radical. But he feels he can come and go, whenever he wants, without taking your feelings into consideration.

[Opinion Owner]

Perhaps he does. But he's going about it the wrong way. He doesn't know how to communicate with you. He acts impulsively. Makes a decision without considering your feelings and then tries to place the blame on you. He should have said he needed time to think things through, then you wouldn't have unfollowed him. He didn't say that though, he said he no longer wanted to see you. So you unfollowed him. I don't know why he's shifting the blame on to you, now? He seems kinda toxic.

[Asker]

He was definitely lying about wanting to call me on Monday

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, then you're better off without him, girl. Be glad though. It seems like you dodged a bullet with this guy.

[Asker]

by the way what did you meant by this ” He doesn't know how to communicate with you”

[Opinion Owner]

That he doesn't know how to take your feelings into consideration when communicating. He doesn't take accountability for the things he says. He shifts the blame on to you instead of admitting fault and apologizing for the things he says or does. Like the guy below said, he waited until the last minute to let you know about rescheduling the date, when it was his job to let you know sooner. He failed to communicate then. That was the first one. Then he failed to communicate about being mad that you were late to the date. He denied being mad when he actually was mad, so he lashed out and told you he no longer wanted to see you, not considering how that would affect you. Then he got mad that you decided to unfollow him and shifted the blame on to you, as if he wasn't the one who told you he no longer wanted to see you? No accountability, no apology. Nothing. He does not know how to take accountability nor how to communicate effectively.

[Asker]

Yeah he said couple times that it was okay. When I asker him about how the date went. He said ” do you mean when you was late? I forgot anout that long time ago”

[Asker]

He said during the phone call that I’m not the one ( indirectly), we don’t understand each other.

[Asker]

I said sorry if I said or did something that hurt you and hunp up the phone.

[Opinion Owner]

Yah, it's best if you just move on. He's not worth all your time and energy.

[PastorJohn69]

Just see it as fate stepped in, and it wasn't meant to be.
I'm sorry it worked like that.
I hope I'm not sounding cruel.
Not meaning to.

[Asker]

Yeah he’s sh! tty person. Do you think this all stems from him being mad at me?

[PastorJohn69]

I think it stems from a need to grow up a little more. Learn that in the interactions of real people, society in reality is wall different than texting on Bitch! Please! Book

[PastorJohn69]

👆👆👆
That was about him in case unclear