Why does he want to stop so bad?

Anonymous

Me and a married coworker have been flirting for quite a while. He played my “therapist” for a while in regards to my relationship with my boyfriend and we would always have small talk trying to get to know each other. So he finally made his move and said he was going to call me one wknd. He had shared his sex life isn’t great at home and he’d like to hook up.

So we did and it has been exhilarating. It has totally woken me up sexually and we have been meeting weekly for a few months. But we’ve recently started meeting less frequently. It’s about every 2 weeks now, but he tries to say each time it’s the last time. He says he’s really into what we do but we need to stop before it gets worse. I end up super flirty and he gives in and we’re at it again. Sometimes he says no, but we never go longer than 2.5 weeks w/o meeting. But he says the whole time, “This is the last time for real this time.”

At first, we were really good at hiding our smiles and eye contact at work. Now it has gotten harder to have the small talk we always had in front of other people. And a lot of times it’s hard to make eye contact. When we are in each others offices by ourselves, we smile like crazy to the point I’ve started to worry someone will notice how I look at him.

I’m REALLY into him now and I can’t figure out what’s going on. Why does he want to stop so bad yet keeps coming back? He’s the one that did most of the flirting for so long and couldn’t wait to get me outside of there, but now he keeps talking about how much he has to lose. I understand the guilt, but he started this! Did he not expect to like it as much as he does? Is he just trying to keep his feelings in check? Did we start to fall for each other? I clearly have. The downtime is hard for me because I wish we were at least flirting in between meets like we used to. I hate when he’s good at “stopping.” And I hate that our relationship has kinda changed. But he always comes back. Is he just good at hiding his true feelings?

Why does he want to stop so bad?
6 Opinion