Is it okay to flirt with my male trainer I said “thanks for showing me hip thrusts 😏”?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t if I were you. In the past I worked front desk and managed trainer schedules at a gym for 2 1/2 years. One of the biggest grievances and eye rolls our male staff had were certain women doing too much or trying to flirt with them, and being unsure how to navigate that. Let me share something: a lot of male trainers just want to do their job. Their profession requires some physical touch to help you get the most out of your workouts, therefore keeping you as a client. I’m sure it could be easy for a female client to get the wrong idea, causing them to make inappropriate or uncomfortable moves on the trainer. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to adjust a trainers schedule to move a client over to someone else, cancel their sessions with some excuse, or diffuse an awkward situation because the client is angry at the rejection. A great trainer of ours even got fired because a spiteful woman filed a complaint against him. All this to say, please respect their job and what it requires. I know the temptation to flirt is there, but being suggestive could cost your trainer his job or you being removed as his client IF he is not mutually interested and you got on him. Now let’s say you’re right and he’s interested— find another approach just to test the waters without being sexual or suggestive. For instance, getting his social media and commenting through that.

[Asker]

I thought he liked me as he said “you just focus on looking good” to me and even cupped my butt once but I found out he has a pregnant girlfriend so I may not and even so the receptionists are female and are close to him, they have big mouths so I probably wouldn’t be able to do it so suggestively and have it go unspoken of

[Opinion Owner]

Saying to focus on looking good is more of encouragement, at least that’s my opinion based on things I’ve heard trainers say. Your goal is ultimately to look good, or look better, and I’m genuinely not saying this to make you feel some sort of way, but comments like those are what motivate you and make you feel good. Therefore you’d keep going to him. But regardless if he’s got a girlfriend who’s pregnant at that, I would keep it friendly and respectful. If it’s too hard for you then be honest with yourself about that, and consider being trained by someone else, if by anyone at all.

[Asker]

Why would I consider being trained by someone else if anyone at all? I’m pretty sure he was flirting with me. I’m also sure he does that with other female clients but it seems like your indicating I’m reading too much into things. Which is possible but most of his clients are male isn’t outrageous that he would flirt with some female clients

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t look at what I’m telling you as some personal attack or accusation, remember we are strangers and I have no opinion or feelings about you as a person. My outlook is solely based off my previous experience working with a rotation of male trainers, and their experiences with women getting the wrong idea. As stated previously, if you feel that he was coming on to you then my advice was to test the waters first rather than act on that assumption by flirting with him while he’s doing his job. But seeing as he’s in a relationship and soon to be a father, I wouldn’t advice it at all. I also stated that “if it’s too hard for you, then you should consider being trained by someone else”, meaning that if your urge to hit on him or respect his relationship is too difficult then maybe working one on one isn’t a great idea.

[Bethany22]

Why would you waste time flirting with a guy that's around women at the gym all day?

[Asker]

How does that make it a waste of time

[Bethany22]

why would you want all of that competition?

[Asker]

Because I’m confident in myself enough to know that I’m enough?

[Bethany22]

No problem with that response!

[serious]

Well, if you are single and if flirting is what you want to do then its fine. Your choice.

[Anonymous]

that's pretty bad it's indicating you want to fuck him

[JosyJosy]

If you're both single, go to town, yeah.