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There's this player I'm in love with who's being hot and cold with me. I've been in touch with him for the past 8 months. We have mutual friends. His hot and cold behaviour is taking a huge toll on my mental wellness.
I've been dealing with him with patience and without losing my self respect. Like even if I go crazy for talking to him, I wait for at least a day before texting him and try to act not desperate for him at all.
Whatever. But he's an asshole and I tried to connect with him emotionally, but I don't think he has any heart. How can I make him get attracted to me and crave me? How should I deal with him?
I love him but he playes with my emotions I know. I want to get over him but I also want him to miss me.
I might sound confusing but he's really making me suffer A LOT. I don't know what to do.
I've been dealing with him with patience and without losing my self respect. Like even if I go crazy for talking to him, I wait for at least a day before texting him and try to act not desperate for him at all.
Whatever. But he's an asshole and I tried to connect with him emotionally, but I don't think he has any heart. How can I make him get attracted to me and crave me? How should I deal with him?
I love him but he playes with my emotions I know. I want to get over him but I also want him to miss me.
I might sound confusing but he's really making me suffer A LOT. I don't know what to do.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Look, what you described is not healthy for you. You stress yourself over a person who probably doesn't care for you in the way that you do. The best thing is to cut him off. However I do understand that if you are in love with him it's going to be hard for you to break your emotional attachment, but think about your well being, it's more important.
Yeah it's too hard to forget him because whenever I promise to myself that I won't talk to him anymore, and ignore talking to him for some days, after some days or 2-3 days, he either calls me or texts me showing concerns for me (ofc to melt me) and me being a person who's in love with him, I get melted by his words and give him another chance.
It's like... he doesn't let me get over him. Whenever he feels like talking, he'd talk and whenever he doesn't, he behaves completely different as if he doesn't know me. I don't understand the sudden and complete shift in his character overnight.
He keeps going back n forth and it's fu*king with me mentally. Horrible. I just want to cut my attachments with him but I don't know how.
That's exactly why you said he is a player. He enjoys that you love him and is making himself having a good time out of this situation by intimidating you. Now, to cut your attachments it really depends how often you see him in real life and not just texting or calling. Is he in your everyday life?
Well we study at the same Uni, but in different depts. His classroom and my classroom are only a floor apart. However, we don't get to see each other everyday due to different schedule but sometimes we meet because we have mutual close friends and all.
Is there any way where I can make him chase me or miss me and something like that🙃 I don't know why I want this to happen.
Ok that's positive to hear only to make things easier for you.
Trust me if he isn't interested in you and just uses your feelings to make himself feel worthy then there is nothing you can do about it. You should start by ignoring him, not in the sense that he doesn't exist as a person but try giving off a vibe that you don't care when he speaks or interacts with you. Plus not returning calls and texts might be effective too.
Hmmm I guess I'll start the process with little steps. I'll keep your suggestions in my head. Tysm :')
Happy to help and I hope you figure this out.
You can't make him get attracted to you and it sounds like he is just playing the field. You can do better. I'd move on. Have you had sex with this guy?
No i haven't had sex with him or anything like that.
I wonder, if this person actually has a heart. Because I've been trying to emotionally connect with him for the past some months but it's scary how he treats me like his wife one day and a complete stranger the other day. During the "stranger" time period, he seems so cold that i feel scared to think how heartless and selfish a person can be!
He does not own you and he sounds like he is all about himself. I think you can do way better. I'd move on.
He won't ever miss you, so get that idea out of your head. Are you having sex with him?
Nooo no sex.
I've always cared for him a lot. So I had this expectation that he would at least consider me as a friend but he seems to be heartless!! What kind of a human he is
So you are... friends? Meh, he doesn't care about that. How do you know he is a player?
Well we are typically in a "situationship" and he's a player because he told me himself that he is dating or flirting with multiple girls at a time
What does that mean, you aren't even having sex... what situationship...
So you go by HIS view of himself? Pffft... okay...