Summer is approaching, and I'm too insecure to handle it!

[Anonymous]

Hello, I live in the Southern Hemisphere, and the place where I live in has hellish temperatures on summer. Really, really hot weather. So it's skimpy clothes galore. And of course all the girls with the great bodies (T n' A) like to show off.

I'm not such a girl and my body is quite awful. I have very small breasts and my butt, well, it's not a great butt. it has cellulite, it's not very round, etc. Guys never check me out.

All of this makes me extremely anxious since I'm really insecure and my boyfriend likes to take me to the beach. But you know, it makes me feel awful that all these "beach babes" are strutting their stuff in front of him and I have nothing to offer. I told him it'd make me feel inadequate, but as he hates when I bring up my insecurities, his only answer was "So what if I look or if someone has a better body? I love YOU, take that in mind, and stop talking about it or you'll make me upset".

But I hate to think that he'll lustily check out the girls falling out of their tops and me I'll be just lying there almost perfectly flat! He already said that if they have better bodies and he notices I'll just have to deal with it. He has a good body, but anyway, I'm not very visual so it's not my hobby to check out men. Especilly since men around here all seem to be on the lazy side.

What can I do? I feel so unsexy during summer, I hate it, it's unfair!

[Anonymous]

Well if your boyfriend wants to take you to the beach, it's a good sign that he likes what you look like in a bikini. As for looking at other women, he may a little, I suppose. but he's there to be with you, not to lust after other women. If he wanted to do that, he'd probably go with his friends because then they could all discuss it openly and check them out.

Having a flat chest is perfectly acceptable! He should have been more tactful when you asked about it, but clearly for him, it's not a problem! Wear a really fabulous bikini that makes the most of your figure and it'll help. It seems like he doesn't tell you enough how attractive you are, but it also seems like you complain about your body a lot, which may leave him feeling kind of helpless.he may think he can't say anything to make you feel better about yourself. I think it's important that you get a great bikini, that you like the look of yourself in. And try to feel more confident about yourself! =)

[dangablar]

Hey, I fell the exact same way about this hot summer in Montreal. I am beginning to believe that even hot girls feel insecure, like I was talking to this very hot friend and she was telling me that she attracts the "superficial" kind of guys, those who just wanna sleep with her and leave in the morning.

I guess there's not much your boyfriend or other people can tell you to feel better about it, because in my case even though my boyfriend and friends have told me I shouldn't feel bad cause I'm pretty too, I always feel insecure around other hot women in summer.

Anyways, just wanted to say you're not alone and we'll all figure it out together eventually

[xosunshine]

Even if you had your ideal body, he would still be checking other girls out, that is just the way most people are. Just try to remember that there is a reason he is with YOU and not those other girls. I bet the way you feel about your body bugs him more than they way you look. Get in shape; not only will you feel better about yourself, but you will be healthier and your boyfriend will get turned on by your new confidence AND your new body!

[Asker]

But I'm flat! And he has made remarks about this a few times... especially when we're looking at my bikini pictures.

[xosunshine]

He literally just said "you are flat" ?!?!?!?!

[Asker]

Not straight-out "you're flat", rather something like "you have a great body, yet I can't help but notice that you're breasts have lost a little volume" (he's said this more than once). Then one day I asked him directly "So what do you think about my chest?" he said "I like it, although it's small". "So you'd like it to be bigger?" "yes, a bit, I don't like huge breasts". "How large do you like them then?" and he said "kind of like Monica Belluci's... medium sized". She is HUGE compared to me!

[Asker]

I guess, in a way, all the media bombardment with pictures of huge breasts have also damaged my confidence a bit. It really seems that having a flat chest is only acceptable when you have a slim body and a GORGEOUS face (think Keira Knightley, Debra Messing, Kate Hudson, etc). Yet my face is very common, plain and my body isn't exactly slim... Plus men always take the Salma Hayeks instead of the Keiras...

[Anonymous]

its better to have small breasts than huge ones with stretchmarks though

link

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i hope they help

and good luck

[AlexRoz]

Well you seem really pretty, and the guy your with is really awesome if he treats you like this, and he is correct though with what he says. You should just try and be confidant with what you got! Aka your boyfriend, he loves you for who you are which is the most important thing. So just try and be confidant, please? Well hope I could help!

[Asker]

But how can I be confident if he will be looking at bigger breatss (his preference)? How can I not feel unsexy when this happens? He may love me, for sure, but sometimes when it comes to being appreciated physically love is not enough. Unlike men, we women like to feel like the prettiest, sexiest to our man's eyes. It's hard to feel that way if he likes other girls' bodies better.

[AlexRoz]

Well it is enough for him and I'm sure your pretty good looking, just hmmm... this is a hard one, well a thing that you can do is just ask him "how do you feel about my body"

[Reeses-pieces777]

Just get in shape. I always am exercising, but I hear you. I'm pretty conscience myself. I hate it too. Just get in shape.

[Darian]

your flat chest you can't really do anything about, but it might make you feel better if you had a flat somache, try doing sit ups and stuff,

good luck babe ?