Would he repeatedly stare at her, up and down, when he is not interested in her?

[Anonymous]

He stares from afar. Doesn't stop staring whenever he sees her, just stares with eyes and mouth wide open and eyebrows up.
Sometimes just stares, without showing emotion..

He does that when he is single and when he is in a relationship.

Even when he passes by with his car, on the street or just watch in the gym, and just stares at her..

Is he then still not interested in her?
Is she just a crush to him?

[SteveSmith1985]

This is hard to answer.

First, it sounds like he's definitely interested in her.

But... it also sounds like this "looks phase" has gone on WAY WAY too long. Like... things should have moved on from that phase way before you're able to say "he's like this when single, he's like this when taken". That's some long-term staring-shit.

So it sounds like he's interested. But if you ever want to like... move things forward. Obviously you're going to have to be the one to initiate that. This guy seems to be stuck in a loop without being able to move things forwards.

I'm gonna say: "He's interested for sure. But he's also fucking weird." Do with that... whatever you think best.

[Asker]

Thank you for explaining it like that.

Now I understand it better.

Yeah he has just always been like that. I don't know if it's a good thing.

One time I thought I liked him and then he found out.
But I never acted on it.
Then I tried everything to avoid him. Even if we went to the same gym for awhile.
Even after all that, he kept staring.. I didn't know why.

Even when he was on a dating app, he liked me a few times.
I tried to talk to him, I only said hi, because I wanted to know why he behaved like that but he never said anything.

That's also a reason why I wanted to know, because I also think he kinda bullies me hahah. Maybe too negative thought but I don't think someone like him is interested in me in a good way haha.
That he thinks I still like him but I soon found out that I never liked him that way, that's why I avoided him.

[SteveSmith1985]

Well it makes a bit more sense that he's acting a bit weird... if there's been some weirdness between you two in the past. Keeping in mind that he was unaware of the whole thinking you liked him, then changing your mind and avoiding him... this is less weird. He is going to be confused as to what's going on, and why you're acting different (for no reason that he's aware of).

So in that case, an awkward "not knowing how to act" makes some sense.

If he's liked you on a dating site, but didn't respond when you said "hi"... then that's just weird. It's like a guy lacking basic social skills. (which is also what the staring seems to suggest).

Because... in any situation... if a guy "likes" a girl he ALREADY KNOWS on a dating app... and that girl says "hi"... a guy is going to reply back. It's awkward as fuck to NOT reply back. It's socially inapropriate to not reply back. Basic social politeness requires him to reply in that situation. Not replying in that situation is totally unacceptable behavior (socially).

So that's... weird as hell. So weird it makes me wonder if this guy genuinely struggles with social cues (maybe autistic or similar?).

Now you threw me right-off when you mentioned the bullying. I... don't even know what to make of that. UNLESS it's the type of "flirty-bullying" you more associate with like 10-year-old boys with a crush on a girl in their class. You know... the kinda "teasing" as a way of flirting because the guy is too young to know how to flirt properly?

Otherwise... bullying... sounds messed-up.

[Asker]

Ohh okay that way. I get it now.
Well they said he found out, and I avoided him every where. Like seeing him and he sees me so I turned my back and stopped looking at him.
I did that so it was clear for him that I didn't like him that way. That it was too stupid to think I liked him.
Then he started to stare more than ever. Whatever I did. I just didn't get it.

I thought he made fun of me when he thought I liked him for a day so that's why I called it "bullying".
I thought it was also weird of him to not saying anything at all. As if he thought it was weird to talk to me but yet till this day, even if he is taken or single, he likes me on dating app. But the last few times I didn't like him back on the app and ignored him because he never talked anyway.

He was and is the popular guy and people see me more as a nerd. Also as someone who is unadventurous because they don't know what's going on in my life and see me only in the same place.
So that's why I think he never tried something.
Also because he is fit and I'm the opposite, so I think that's also why he never tried something.
With all that, he still just stares from a distance. No matter if people see that he is staring at me.

[Asker]

One time, I asked for advice regarding food diet from his best friend but he had a busy schedule so he said he couldn't help.
Then his friend said "You could go to him. But I don't think he wants to help you" but his best friend didn't look at me when he said that while when he and I talk about something else he makes eye contact with me.
So I thought he was too afraid to admit it or he was hiding what his best friend meant that he doesn't want to help me.

So obviously his best friend knows how he feels about all of this and his best friend doesn't want me close to him too haha.

But yeah it seems indeed that he lacks social skills when it comes to me.
So I kinda don't understand why he still stares at me, no matter if he is single or taken, and yet his friend says something like that..