Would I have a chance with a cute guy?

[Akam93]

[caring__1]

A relationship is more than just arm candy. Obviously, we must feel some attraction to our partner (based on our own preferences, not society's), but it is the connection that makes a relationship special.

Focus on what you bring to the relationship rather than on what you expect to receive from a relationship. If you are a considerate, respectful, equal partner, who brings a balance of playfulness and responsibility, and is caring for others as well as taking care of yourself, a guy would be foolish to pass you up... as long as you are within his range of attraction. That range is actually quite wide. Walk around a mall and observe wedding bands. You can't tell me that only society ideal women wear those bands.

To increase your chances of connecting with someone you can respect, enjoy and feel desirous of, learn more about yourself. Ask those who know you best to present you with lists of your positive attributes and your greatest challenges. They can submit these lists anonymously, if they prefer. Put all the lists together, with the items mentioned the most at the top. Maybe people like your brown hair, while you assume blondes have more fun. Don't minimize anything on your final list. Find out how people are impacted by those things they mention, so you can learn to accept and appreciate yourself for the person you already are. You can choose to enhance these aspects people notice. Face your challenges rather than sweep them under the rug and find excuses for them.

By doing these things, you'll increase your value as a partner. That is what a relationship is about, not cuteness that fades in time. Yes, you want to feel desirous and energized by your partner, but measuring potential partners based on their cuteness will generally leave you disappointed, frustrated, bitter and resentful. Looks are not what hold a healthy relationship together.

[SnowedIn]

Yes.