A guy asked me to his apartment on the second date to make dinner for me, drink some wine & watch a movie. Does that mean he wants sex?

Question

He was such a gentleman on our first date. He bought me cookies and tea, and I introduced him to my dog. He’s a 10/10, and he has a six pack (which he let me touch). We held hands in the car at one point, and he kept ruffling my hair, calling me cute. I don’t mind if he wants sex, but I’m just curious as to whether or not that’s on the table.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Are you cool with you friends with benefits, something casual and not official? You guys aren't boyfriend/girlfriend and you are already going to have sex. If he's hot, he may be looking for a good time only and nothing relationship wise. Hope you are cool with that? I don't want you to get hurt and expect for something more.

When it comes to guys like this, usually it's just about sex, they are most likely talking to multiple girls on top of talking to you. His main goal is to get as much sex as possible with as many women as he can.

I remember hearing this story from someone or somewhere. He said why is it that so many women go for that one particular guy, that guy always has someone new every week. Like why do those women put up with that?

The answer was because they go with the flow of the guy. The guy doesn't establish anything he makes it ambiguous on purpose so he can get away with using the woman for sex. Most women go for it hoping the guy will make it official one day. But that never happens, he never plans on doing that.

What derails his plans on getting sex all he wants and playing the girl is when she asks him straight up what's going on and what are his intentions. those are the type women who won't go with the flow and will walk away when they see this guy is just trying to use them.

So you like him, you want to sleep with him but you're not thinking about the long-term goals. If you are just cool with sex for a while and then one day things end because someone gets bored then go for it.

Make sure you are on birth control, to use condoms and you have plan b in case the condom breaks or anything happens. Don't use a tube of lube and condoms together, it'll break the condom. Educate yourself so everything is safe.

I would ask him to get tested for STDs so he doesn't give you anything life changing, a hot guy who's trying to get laid all the time is hopefully clean. But maybe none of this concerns you? I wanted to warn you just in case. I hope you have fun.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

For once, I wouldn't jump to conclusions. I’ve made myself clear from the get go that I won’t be doing that early on. I’ve still been invited to guys homes for dates that remained PG13. You have to find someone on the same page as you so that their intentions aren't outta wack. You don’t want to be surprised down the line. Now of course things happened on future housedated but not sex because they knew where I stood. And then... man there was one housedate that totally backfired and resulted in sex... but thats because we were deep into the relationship by then and although it was a bit sooner than the “waiting til marriage” thing he wanted to do, it was me who had a weak moment and jumped his bones 🤣 Anyways, I am uncomfortable with the fact that you’re 17 and okay having sex with some older dude but it is what it is. Thats your life not mine

nitsuj86 · Accepted Answer

Sex is always on the table, and probably his goal if he is inviting you back to his apartment.

Now whether that actually happens is usually up to the woman.

If a man asks you to come to his place, he wants to fuck you. Or you should at least assume that and move accordingly.

If you don't want that to happen, tell him. Say this is nice, and we can make out a bit, but I don't want to have sex. Pretty simple.

If you do not say anything like this, he will try most likely to push for it. It's what men are socialized by women to do.

If you do want to fuck, then make it easy for him. Sometimes it's hard to get the signals right when we are horny. So help him out a bit.

Kiss_Me · Accepted Answer

Yes. It is a setup for sex.

I doubt you're missing the facts, but I'll post them for those that may be a bit more clueless.

1. Some men call first dates "Utility dates." They need to get past the first date because a lot of women don't want to be seen as slutty, so they will wait for the second date to have sex.

2. He is pre-positioning you in a location where you can have sex.

3. "Come over and hand out." "Come over and we will watch a movie." "Come over and I will fix you dinner." are all non-vulgar ways of saying, Come over to my place so we can have sex."

Now that you have the facts... You have a decision to make.

VIVANT · Answer

I wouldn’t go lol you barely know him. He could be a rapist or serial killer. Probably unlikely but I didn’t trust people so easily. Him getting you yea & letting you touch his 6 pack had nothing to do with if he’s trust worthy.

as for if he wants sex, who knows but you should be able to trust a person enough to where if they want sex and you do not they are ok with that not having sex and do not pressure you or make you feel bad. You should also be able to clear up what anyone is expecting. If you can’t communicate and If you are worrying about it one way or the other, i would not go.

_Maya_ · Answer

Not necessarily but don't think it hasn't crossed his mind. Just set your personal boundaries beforehand. Second date is a bit soon in my opinion.

richardcory · Answer

He is probably interested in sex. If you aren't, you can suggest a date somewhere public and see how he reacts

Its possible for someone to be a gentleman and also want sex. He may not pressure you are anything, but its best not to let him have false expectations.

by the way:I don't know anything about the consent laws in NY,

YesterdaysChild · Answer

Sounds to me that sex is what YOU are expecting, not necessarily him. "Oh, and for the record, I’m 17. I live in New York, so that’s past the age of consent. It’s perfectly legal for us to have SEX.

fonduegirl · Answer

It's too soon for sex. Not age wise, dating wise.  Especially if he's much older. If u want it, go for it. But if he's an older guy, I'd be very careful. And don't forget condoms! Xoxo

boggboss · Answer

Not not inherently but if your at his place with alcohol involved it could be more then possible to what he wants

thatshydork · Answer

First off, be very careful with men who are older than you when you’re a minor. Second, yes it sounds like he wants to have sex with you.

MementoMori777 · Answer

if he wanted to cuff you, im sure he wouldve already, but im sure you're about to find out soon enough.

Unit1 · Answer

Most guys go to all these lengths in order to get sex. Besides myself I know no one, that invites girls and doesn't try to get sex once inside 🙄

runnerboy · Answer

It sounds like he wants sex. How old is he? How old are you? Just be careful and I would suggest waiting for sex for a bit longer. Ur thoughts?

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

He's going on a date with you. He wants sex.

chrissykerdock · Answer

expect him to want a blowjob especially after kissing you

Sasha0426 · Answer

It’s a possibility. If you both want sex, that’s fine. Just please be careful. Since you didn’t say how old he is, just watch out that he’s not taking advantage of you because you’re only 17.

DextroShade · Answer

Men only deal with women for sex, so yes obviously he wants to have sex. Depending on the jurisdiction and exactly how old you are he might get into a lot of trouble though.

Anonymous · Answer

"He has a six pack (which he let me touch)." He sounds like a real douche. I would stay away from his place.

kakaling · Answer

All man build their body for one purpose. I can't believe just how many girls fall for it.

mandyfire98 · Answer

He's definitely wanting something lol

slatyb · Answer

How old is this guy? Are you really under 18?

es20490446e · Answer

Are you enthusiastic about that happening?

TacosRAwesome · Answer

It's like 90% on the table.

Jadebamboo · Answer

If I had to bet, I would say yes.

NYlatefun · Answer

He definitely wants sex. Be ready.

TrillXHippy · Answer

You know it does

Fuentes · Answer

I'm not answering this because ur 17

Sparkie460 · Answer

How old is he?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes.

In_Trance · Answer

Yes it does

A guy asked me to his apartment on the second date to make dinner for me, drink some wine & watch a movie. Does that mean he wants sex?

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A guy asked me to his apartment on the second date to make dinner for me, drink some wine & watch a movie. Does that mean he wants sex?

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