Why are some men incels?

Question

It’s gross and unattractive

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

if we're talking the ones who call themselves that, its generally dudes who were probably the bullied shy nerd in school, who are either super ackward socially and introverted or/and overweight/ugly, who got really obsessed with the fact that they can't get girls (or more accurately their ideal types often), so they end up watching a lot of youtube stuff that's related to that, which leads them to the manosphere, redpill stuff, which starts to make them not like women. they start finding discords, forums, etc of likeminded people, where they can talk shit about women and commiserate. they get more and more extreme and start using the label incel. real incels aren't just dudes who can't get laid, its litteral psychopaths who can't get laid. i looked at their main forum the other day and omg wtf. from what i saw just by scrolling down a bit and looking at a few threads, most of them are evil. like they're often neo nazis (a lot of them are very racist, i saw so many extreme race posts on there, an anti jew stuff, and saying hitler and the holocaust is based), are pro fucking (and raping obv) 11-14 yo girls, pro rape, pro murdering women, pro making girls sex slaves, a lot of them love elliot roger and adore and praise people who murder or rape girls, etc they're insane people

if we're talking people who just can't get laid, it probably either one or multiple of these: being shy/socially ackward, having very high standards in women when you dont have the looks and stuff to match, being too fat or having noticeably bad hygiene/bad grooming (like badd, a lot of dudes like that do) or just plain ugly (and not doing anything about it if you have easy control over it like your weight and trying to go beyond your league), being insecure and scared of women, not actually trying at all and expecting women to come to you, weird behavior/bad personality

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because women find them gross and unattractive maybe or they perceive that.

I think once they find their confidence and get a girl they won't be incels anymore.

Incels are men who are involuntary celibate.

docster · Accepted Answer

That's like saying "Men who are starving are gross and unattractive. I'm certainly not going to give them any food".

Many of us just don't have game. We're bad at socializing. It comes naturally to some but not to all.

In his book 'Shyness & Love' by Dr. Brian Gilmartin, he talks about how women who are shy are just as likely to be partnered as non-shy women. Shy men, on the other hand, are far less likely to be partnered than non-shy men. The reason: Men are expected to do the approaching and asking out. He proposes that the one who is less shy should do it. Not based on gender.

I believe he wrote that book in the latter 1970's. Here we are in 2023 and nothing has changed.

bolverk · Accepted Answer

I refer this article below to you, it will give you some back ground, but the term was originally coined as "INVCEL" around1993 – 1997 by a queer Canadian female student known as Alana, to explore her involuntary celibacy, the term rose to prominence in the 2010s as it became closer associated with an online subculture of people who define themselves as unable to get a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, this applies to both female and male.
www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-do-some-men-turn-to-the-incel-movement

nonyabeez-wax · Answer

Incel means "involuntarily celibate", so you tell me why they are incels?

The females version of this is femcel.

Now, are you genuinely reffering to someone who's involuntarily celibate, or are you referring to a man who has elected to remain single for whatever reason? The media likes to call anyone who disagrees with them, or has an issue with being painted as the bad guy in all things simply because they are male, " incels". So its important to define what is an "incel" and a guy who just isn't interested in either nonsense or relationship.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

From what I have observed especially from online, incels have a very entitled mentality.

They seriously believe a woman should accept or bow down to them without them making any effort in being at least attractive personality wise so that's why they don't get any women at all not to mention a lot of them have very high standards for women physically wise while most of them aren't handsome men to begin with.

Curmudgeon · Answer

What makes you think those unfortunate men had a choice in the matter?

Moreover, if you *really* want to help solve the problem, you would volunteer to teach one social skills and the like and show some compassion and all that. I'm not saying you have to fall in love with one or anything like that, but your attitude simply reinforces the problem.

normalice · Answer

Because republicans can't get votes based on their policies so created the culture wars to get people to vote for repiblicans because they are mad at something. The incel narrative, and indeed everything in the manosphere, is largely controlled by people trying to generate constant anger towards women, in hopes that it gets them to vote republican. And it seems to work a lot better than one would think.

KC-Sunbeam · Answer

Incel is an acronym for involuntary celibacy. It means what it says: being forced to be celibate (sexless) against your will. For such men, paying prostitutes doesn't count. Sex has to comes from wives or girlfriends. Being unattractive to women causes the inceldom, not the other way around.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Incel = a person of either gender who wants to have sex, but isn't having any.

So by saying you think all incel men are gross and unttractive, you're actually saying that all single men who aren't currently sexually active, are gross and unattractive.

Its the same as saying you'll only date guys who either have casual sex, or are already taken. Which makes you either a slut, a homewrecker, or both.

NamerOfStars · Answer

People fail to gain social acceptance, and your response is to declare them socially unacceptable.

Do you also wonder why so many of them lash out, or can you figure out cause and effect to that extent?

Anonymous · Answer

Same reason there’s women incels. Oh wait but when it comes to women who can’t find a relationship it’s cause they choose to not be in one lol the mind of women making up terminology to make theirselves feel better. “Oh girl he was toxic, it’s not your fault. It’s him.” Even though she’s had a million relationships it’s not her lol

ProbablyClueless · Answer

A lot of those guys have never had a single good relationship/interaction with any woman in their lives. Not their mom. Not their sister. Not their cousin.

Same kind of thing that causes some women to become hardcore feminists.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Do you even understand what the meaning of incel is? It means it is involuntary, which means that they did not choose it. Is it gross and unattractive if a woman cannot make a long term relationship work out? Judging by the look of your picture, you will probably be a crazy cat lady if you aren’t already one.

Starrrboy · Answer

Either genetics failed them.. or they don't have that dawg in them.. So they can't get women unless maybe work for it.. they basically feel like npcs so they just hate and hate women more.. because you know.. can't live with them can't live without them situation lmaoo..

Lionman95 · Answer

Because some guys have problems get girls interested in them. Telling them to self improve is often not that helpful since even if they improve it doesn't mean they get chosen as a partner.

LazerBean · Answer

I often see it as a result of bad parenting.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Because women like you find them gross or unattractive, most people are purposely ignorant of the reasons why incels are incels in the first place.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Bad upbringing or brainwashed by garbage they read on social media or on sites like this one.

rigmarole · Answer

I'm sure you can figure it out... I mean you are a man after all. What caused you to wear women's clothing and be antisocial on the internet?

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

You know what "involuntary" means, yes?

PaulatEllasGift · Answer

Incel is a portmanteau of "involuntary celibate".

Billlewis · Answer

In my case it's about 60% wanting to be one and 40% reality, but unlike many incels, I absolutely love it;)

Yannae · Answer

They don't see their wrongs and keep blaming the other gender, refusing to look at themselves. Not acknowledging your flaws results in no self improvement.

slatyb · Answer

They have poor social skills, and blame their lack of dating success on others instead of working on themselves.

BootsLover94 · Answer

Those men lack any sense of reality and any goals in life

Nirmroth · Answer

They get no bitches and blame women for not choosing them

Nifrayu · Answer

I agree with you. I think they are probably cynical in nature and that their negativity is the main reason for their prolonged single life.

Anonymous · Answer

Men need to be raised differently than women do, reminds me I feel some women who I interacted with in my past life could have prevented me from becoming one

Anonymous · Answer

because they are narcissists who think they deserve sex or are owed sex.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Because they can't get laid. Which is because they're gross and unattractive.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

You already answered your question in the description.

Anonymous · Answer

They don't choose it. If you have an issue with it, then have sex with them and they won't be incels anymore.

molonski2 · Answer

What is an incel?

Jennz6 · Answer

What is Incel?

shades777 · Answer

its ok they think your gross too

zagor · Answer

Cuz they can't get any.

Slim57 · Answer

Why are some women incels

sheikalana · Answer

Some women are too.

Why are some men incels?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why are some men?

Why are some men incels?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why are some men?

We're glad to see you liked this post.