How do I talk to him?

I really like this guy but I never know what to say to him. We always just ask each other about work and it never goes anywhere. I don't know if he’s an introvert like I am tbh. I really want to talk to him but I have a hard time thinking up things to say. I’m scared he’ll dislike me and I’ll end up hurt. I just want him to like me. Anyone have any convo ideas? Would be very appreciated.

Oliverlogan263

InfluencerMaster Age: 25

1.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

I understand, starting conversations can be intimidating. But don't psych yourself out too much - this dude probably likes you too if he keeps talking! Here are some ideas:

- Comment on current events like the latest game or movie. Guys usually dig chatting pop culture.

- Ask open-ended questions about his hobbies or what he likes to do for fun on weekends. People love talking about their interests.

- Share funny stories from your life, even if just little funny things that happened at work. Humor is always a good convo starter.

- Compliment him on something non-physical like his personality. People remember compliments!

- Talk sports if he's into it. Even if you don't follow too closely, you can learn a bit to chat with him.

- Send him memes or TikToks you think he'd find funny. Good way to bond over silly internet stuff.

Don't overthink it - just listen and ask follow ups when he talks. Guy will appreciate you taking interest! And suggest hanging more to keep things moving. You've got this sis, just be yourself and it'll flow naturally.

Asker

+1 y
He really never talks to me. He invited me to sit with him and his friends one time so I did. And he sat right by me not too long ago and ate with me. He didn’t really talk to me though. I would send him videos but I don’t have contact with him but in person. :( I really wish I did because it’s easier for me to text since I’m so introverted… I’m scared he’ll think I’m desperate. He really only talks to his parents and not really anyone else so I’m not sure how to read him. But when he sat by me he was like “I’m gonna sit here if that’s ok” and I was just like yea of course. He had the whole room to sit with plenty of tables but he sat with me. And I want to say that’s a good thing but if he doesn’t really talk to me I’m not sure. I just am scared I won’t be good enough. I don’t know how to just approach him and randomly start a conversation without him thinking I’m weird. I may see him tomorrow at this event I’m going to. But I think he’ll be sitting with his parents. I mean yeah he approached me last time but I’m scared he just didn’t know where to sit or was being nice or felt sorry for me. I want to approach him first this time, I just don’t know how. Because if he doesn’t like me then I don’t want him to know I have feelings for him. Like I don’t want to be too much. He may not want anything to do with me and might think I’m nagging him. I’m just so scared but I like him so much.

Thank you so much for the help and advice I really appreciate you so much.

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Oliverlogan263

+1 y
You’re welcome. Look, I get it - putting your feelings out there is super scary. But from the way he approached you last time and chose to sit with you, it really does sound like he's interested too in his own quiet way. Here's what I would do:

When you see him at the event tomorrow, walk right up with a smile and say hi. Comment on something happening there, like "Hey, looks like they've got some cool music playing tonight." Then ask how he's been or what he thinks of the event so far. Keep it light and positive.

If the conversation flows, you could mention remembering when he sat with you last time and say you appreciated him joining you (this shows your interest subtly). But don't force it or drag it on awkwardly if he seems like he wants to talk to his parents more.

Try not to put too much pressure on it or overanalyze things - just be confident and see where the conversation leads. The fact that he proactively came up to you before is a good sign. Even if it doesn't lead to more right away, at least you'll know you put yourself out there. I'm sure everything will work out, just stay cool. You've got this!

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Tharithi

+1 y
Why do u like him again. How long have u known him

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Asker

+1 y
He ended up not showing up. I will see him tomorrow but he’ll be with his parents and I just can’t talk to him when they’re around.. or my parents. I don't know I just don’t think it’s worth trying if he only tries when we have events at church… which is very rare. So like yea I see him every week but I don’t think he wants to talk to me. He only started a conversation once and now we just speak “hey how are you” and ignore each other.. even though we’re like inches from each other. I just think he deserves someone he wants to talk to. I just don’t think he wants anything to do with me. And I tried to give him the excuse of being introverted because I am, but honestly I don't know. I feel it’s just he doesn’t like me or would start conversations. Anyways thank you for helping and taking the time out of your busy schedule to help me and be so caring.

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Oliverlogan263

+1 y
You’re welcome, anytime. Aw man, that really sucks he didn't show up. I can understand feeling discouraged now. But don't give up hope just yet!

It does seem like when you two are alone together, even for just a quick chat, he engages more. So his shyness could definitely be a factor too. Most guys aren't great at picking up signals either.

Maybe try sitting a little closer to him at church this week? A playful nudge or smile could be a subtle way to let him know you'd like to talk. Or even just saying hi and casually mentioning something funny or interesting that happened.

Even the smallest gestures can help break the ice. And who knows, once you connect a bit more he might open up. Just don't lose hope - keep being your friendly self and see what happens. You never know, he might come around!

If it still doesn't progress at all then yeah, probably best to focus your energy elsewhere. But no harm in giving it a bit more time first. Stay positive, okay?

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