Is this totally natural and normal?

Question

I have a friends with benefits. We declared what it is. We are very nice to each other. however, for the past couple of years, I’ve always wanted to friends with benefits after a relationship ended. I felt completely normal and OK with it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to deal with the stress that comes along with it anymore.

HOWEVER. My friends with benefits flirts in front of me with the other girls. I GET JEALOUS because I want all the attention on me and I get insecure when feeling like it’s going to end. Which, technically we are allowed it to End whenever. We don’t have each other on social media or anything because I don’t want to see what he is up to and that is not my business but when it’s in front of me, I get a little jealous and always feel some type of way. I guess because I don’t have anyone else like a second option. Is this normal?

ChicoFromThe305 · Accepted Answer

You are catching feelings which by the way is like step one of what you shouldn't do in sexual relations that have no commitment, but yes your reaction is natural and normal, wanna know why? Cause relations without commitment aren't natural or normal, sexual intimacy was designed for reproduction and to create a bond with your lover, it was designed to be within a marriage, not outside of it, this result is a normal and somewhat healthy reaction, lacking this type of sensitivity shows that these people are thriving of a lustful mentality, only wanting sexual pleasure and it shouldn't be that way, This only tells me that deep down you crave an actual connection with a man but for whatever unfortunate circumstance you are in a friends with benefits.

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

I think I know what you want , you want a friends with benefits but when you are out together you want it to seem like a LTR getting all the attention etc? I kinda think thats fair enough , and can understand your jealously indeed.

Why dont you just do the same when he does that? Flirt with some guys , be a little more risque , put him under a bit of pressure and see how he likes it? Even dress a little differently.

Matilde03 · Accepted Answer

Yes it’s very normal. You want more. I had a friend with benefits on and off but I too obviously wanted more. I was on and off very clingy. I also begged to be able to go out and stuff with him. I got super jealous when I would see him with someone else and sick to my stomach. After leaving him alone he would always come back. And that mess would start again. I kinda figured it was more benefit than friends bcos I seemed to be doing everything for him like cooking and laundry.

HelpfulWoman · Accepted Answer

XD XD
So you don't want a friends with benefits. You want the whole "lack of label" because you're insecure and red flags but you do just want a relationship.
The whole situation is cringe. Never just get out of a relationship and start another, even if the "type" of relationship is different.

Anonymous · Answer

You are so not okay with this at all. If you were truly OK with just having a friends with benefits, you would not be getting jealous or would you be wanting all of the attention on you.