What does it mean when a guy uses you to piss off another girl?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend and we are very close friends, we live in the same city and we know each other from college, but we never see each other because he dropped out of college, so we started to be long distance friends or chat buddies. He has had several girlfriends and I have no idea why they all hate me. for no reason and no sense. to the point that I don't even formally know them. I have never ever met any of his girlfriends and I know about them because he usually chats things like "talk to you later, I'm with my girlfriend and you know she gets mad if I talk to you".

One day he broke up with his girlfriend and a few hours later he posted on Facebook that he was in a relationship with me. And his other friends get in on the joke to congratulate him just to piss her off.

I felt bad for the girl and angry for his childish behavior. I fought with him because even though the girl hated me it didn't seem fair. Besides, why did he use me to annoy her?

The worst part is that I have witnessed this kind of behavior in guys very often. What's the need to do things like this?

[Oliverlogan263]

That's messed up what your friend did. Posting about being in a relationship with you just to make his ex mad is super shitty and immature.

It sounds like he has some issues with how he handles breakups. Using you as a prop just to provoke a reaction from her is not cool at all. You didn't deserve to be dragged into their drama like that.

As for why these girls seem to dislike you even though you don't know them, my guess is your friend probably talks shit about you to them subconsciously as a way to get attention and reassure them he's not interested. But that's just speculation - either way, not your problem!

I think you were right to call your "friend" out. That behavior is disrespectful to you and the girls. Real friends don't use each other like that. Maybe distance yourself from this dude if he keeps acting so immaturely in his relationships. You deserve people who treat you with more respect.

Don't stress too much about what those girls think - you didn't do anything wrong! This says more about your flaky friend than you. Just focus on your real ones who appreciate you.

[Billlewis]

That's not how it's supposed to work -- women are generally more well known for using their new boyfriends to make their ex boyfriends jealous as hell;)

[Anonymous]

I think it’s just a thing where your partner has a close friend of the opposite sex that stirs up their partner’s insecurity and/or jealousy. The appropriate thing for your friend to do is introduce his girlfriends to you and try not to appear as though he’s prioritizing your friendship vs his relationship. He may not see an issue because I’m sure he talks to his male friends often and there’s no fuss from her. It’s a boundary he’s failing to set though, like it’s ok of course to keep you as a friend but his girlfriend needs peace of mind as well. It’s silly but unfortunately some people aren’t as innocent and platonic with their friendship as you and your friend, so it spoils it for everyone.

[SolsticeSnow]

Sounds like he's been making these girls think you're his first love and he's not over you. It's called narcissistic triangulation. When you make a partner feel 'not enough' by doing things like comparing them unfavorably to an ex.

Also though... presumably you only have his word these women don't like you. He may also be telling THEM that YOU don't like them. Another part of the triangulation.

Then roping you in to hurt them further when they split with him.

He's not nice and he's not your friend.

[bededazzle]

it means that guy is a dick

[ThrillSeeker01]

It's just a crappy thing to do.