What’s your opinion on this?

[LonixLoni]

Why don’t guys like to open up about what they’re feeling? And how do I get them to? And what’s the proper or most comforting way to boldly ask about their intentions?

[abc3643]

You wrote:

"Why don’t guys like to open up about what they’re feeling?"

That's a long story, but it has to do with how we are evolved differently than females.

"And how do I get them to?"
Don't bother. They will come to you over time and, mostly, if they love you. Don't try to force it or rush it.

"And what’s the proper or most comforting way to boldly ask about their intentions?"
Don't bother - not right away at least until he opens up.

Learn this:
If you want to know how a guy feels about you, watch how he treats you. A male will speak and tell you all you need to know about his motives and desires and feelings through his actions.

[LonixLoni]

Thank you for detailing your opinion! And he tries to little by little I guess it’s progress.

[Anonymous]

It is basically another case of women say one thing but do the opposite. They like the idea of seeing their man being vulnerable, because they think that their man showing them their vulnerability would be showing how special they think she is.

But women do not like vulnerable men. So everyone knows what happens next. It might no happen on the first time, but don't do it twice.

You can claim that you want your man to be more open about his feelings/insecurities, but men know that's bullshit. Trying to force him into it will just piss him off.

[Opinion Owner]

Your man or any man in general.

[LonixLoni]

It’s not them just being vulnerable tho or seem weak or taken advantage of. Women like me would really like to know what’s going on inside that head. Why make someone you love confused wondering if you’re even doing enough for that person. It won’t work without communication, especially when it supposed to work both ways.

[Nikki1989]

Most men are weak, insecure, and will come up with any pathetic excuse to not say anything. You will see evidence of that on this very post if you scroll down.

[LonixLoni]

Definitely did see it you right!😂

[HelpfulWoman]

this is the by product of toxic masculinity and the damage done by the negative stereotypes of being a "traditional" man

[LonixLoni]

It’s toxic

[Flatmanlewis]

Most guys don’t because we find vulnerabilities uncomfortable. How to get past this? Earn trust and be vocal about your support and understanding. Once we think we have a sympathetic ear that we can trust - we will talk. Often.

[LonixLoni]

I him for years why is it he still haven’t been comfortable enough to open up to me?

[LonixLoni]

Knew*

[Flatmanlewis]

Well who are you to him? What level of intimacy do you share and how much trust is there between you two?

[LonixLoni]

We’re just friends with benefits for right now. But he think the whole world is out to set him up.

[Flatmanlewis]

So he needs to work through his own issues. Don’t push too hard. Just be present and reliable and if/when he’s ready to open up then you’ll be there. That’s the best that can be done.

[KrakenAttackin]

You are young so I won't be harsh. When men are stupid enough to "open up*, especially to women, men get savaged. The reality is society as a whole and certainly women don't what to hear the fears, stresses, and depressions, that are most men's lives.

When a man is seriously depressed people don't say "poor guy, let's help him", they think "he could be dangerous". This can lead a man to be subject to "red flag laws" which leads to serious legal consequences.

The brutal reality is that there are two mental health spaces for men in this country, prison and death.

[LonixLoni]

Well that’s your generation. I understand when men show emotions it’s called “weakness” to society. But that’s different with me. I feel if I’m gone be with someone I want to know their every thought, mood, emotion. (Communicate your feelings so I know how to support what your going through.) I won’t ever make a man feel weak for expressing what’s important. Man mental health is also valid. No matter the age!

[KrakenAttackin]

@LonixLoni. No, no you don't. Your innate feminine will not tolerate a man sharing his feelings unless his feeling are ones you approve of. Trust me, you do not want to hear a man's fears about succeeding in the work world, about being able to provide, about health issues, pain of death of parents/siblings, etc. Should a man be foolish enough to be candid with you about his real fears, you will be disgusted with him and will never respect him again.

What you say is common for women to say when they state "I want an emotionally available man". What this means is women want men to have feelings she wants to hear.

[LonixLoni]

How you gonna tell me how ima feel about what he tells me. I don't know what women you be around but they got you emotionally traumatized.

[DextroShade]

The reasons guys don't open up is because there is a real risk that the woman will think less of him for doing so and women are utterly unequiped to deal with men's problems. There was an instance of a UFC fighter's girl leaving him because she saw him lose a fight and get beat up by his opponent even though he is still capable of beating up 99% of men.

[LonixLoni]

I don't know what women y’all see or run into but that’s not me. If a man is willing to be with me I want to know his every, thought, mood, and emotion so I know how to support him in any way that I can. Expressing yourself should not have gender roles. We’re all human.

[Billlewis]

Because when we open up and tell you our true feelings, you don't want to be with us anymore.

[LonixLoni]

That’s definitely not true! I like someone more when they can communicate their feelings. Men feelings are valid too.

[Billlewis]

I don't necessarily mean in your case, but that's how it generally works in society today.

[LonixLoni]

And I hate society for that. It’s sickening

[abc3643]

Sadly, all too true. But, perhaps that should motivate us TO open up; get it over with because it's better earlier to find out if she'll stick with us or not.

[RedInnocent68]

Don’t. Asking is nagging. Build trust. Intimacy will follow.

[Amara_09]

Be direct