Let’s say you’re a guy and u like a girl. why wouldn’t u do anything about your crush? what are the things that are stopping u?

[overthinkergirl]

[bobby_bush_eater]

My answer today at my age and my answer at your age (which I vividly remember being that guy) so I'll give you my answer at your age.

Simply, I was scared. I was scared of what my friends and other people would think. I was also very scared of rejection. Lastly I was also just scared of the act, I wanted everything to be perfect and like a movie but that often me look naive and I missed out on multiple potential dating opportunities.

I say all this and in HS I played 4 sports and was a captain of the football team junior and senior year and I was a powerlifting state champion 2x. I was still scared to.

[blueonblack22]

Depends. But at your age guys are often nervous/clueless about how to best go about this. They are worried about getting the answer they don’t want, having the girl embarras them, dealing with an overly jealous boyfriend (if they know didn’t she’s taken), being embarrassed, saying something wrong out of nerves and looking weird/creepy, etc.

Also most 16 year old girls are well beyond 16 year old boys when it comes to emotional maturity. Probably the biggest gap around your age. You “get it” much more than the average boy your age right now.

[fr44c3]

That would vary from person to person, but I will tell based on my personal experience. I had a huge crush before, but I was as very shy to go talk to her. We eventually did have conversations, as we were seated next to each other in class. Anyways, after we talked everyday about many things, we did get comfortable with each other, and the bonding began, as far as I thought I felt. Nonetheless, I felt very nervous to ask her out or to tell her that I liked her, not because of the possibility she may decline or say she doesn’t feel the same way, that is normal to do and say, but I feared that she might get freaked out or creeped out, and think I am creepy for coming forward! That is what I have allowed to hold me back. But unfortunately, allowing it to hold you back only brings regret later on. Unfortunately, in today’s age, coming forward is riskier because she can feel harassed or sexually harassed, accuse it, and they can get you in trouble! Like, it shouldn’t get you in trouble unless you ask again after she says no or if you insist! That should be common sense. But here is a trick. If you do talk to a girl and then ask her out, and she accuses you for “harassment” or “sexual harassment”, and a guy talks to you over it, ask him how did he get his girlfriend or wife, and then ask him if he would have liked to have been punished over asking her out when he first asked her out if she felt harassed or sexually harassed by it; and if it’s a woman talking to you over the accusation, ask her how did her boyfriend or husband get her, and if simply by feeling harassed or sexually harassed should warrant disciplinary actions, and if she thinks it would have been appropriate for her boyfriend or husband to have gotten in trouble if she felt sexually harassed when he asked her out or when he began talking to her, and have her reflect on it and say that it becomes as such only if the guy continues after the girl declines by saying she doesn’t want to or isn’t interested! People are literally losing so much common sense these days!

[ProbablyClueless]

Just not worth the effort. Maybe the social cost of her not reciprocating is too high. Maybe I don't have enough money to date. My family/home life was chaotic and unpleasant, and I didn't want to bring girls around that. Sometimes I wouldn't pursue girls I knew because I was just too physically tired from everything I had going on.

[overthinkergirl]

u really put some good answers out here! thanks a lot:))

[ProbablyClueless]

Sure thing! Happy to help =)

[Yannae]

I am a guy and I like a girl. Why didn't I do anything about my crush.
Crush 1: I was too occupied with family matters to even make time for her.
Crush 2: Taken.
Crush 3: She wasn't right for me.
Crush 4: I wasn't ready. It was too soon and rushing things leads to mistakes.
Crush 5: I wasn't ready. It was too soon and rushing things leads to mistakes.

[overthinkergirl]

good answers! can i ask why wasn't crush 3 right for u?

[Yannae]

I was the introvert, she the extrovert. I like to be at home by myself. She liked to constantly go out. I like a holiday weekend in the city. She liked to travel. We were complete opposites. But she was a good person and a baddie of course.

[overthinkergirl]

okay thanks for explanation!:)

[Yannae]

No problem!

[Loner111]

Well it depends on the situation.

If she works there and I'm a customer, then I have to respect that she is working; leave her alone.

If she is a classmate of mine, she is there for school; leave her alone.

If she is at the gym working out; she's exercising; leave her alone...

And the same applies for many places.

Now, if it were at like a party, then I don't want to creep her out, or be the reason why she leaves.

As a guy with experience, I leave women alone just about anywhere and hope that they maybe notice me and approach me, but that never happens sadly.

[fr44c3]

Well, nobody can read others’ minds. I know that it can be hard to talk to a crush, trust me! I have been there! I had a huge crush in high school, whom I met in 10th grade. I had the nerves to have conversations with her, and so I never did in my sophomore year. My junior year was very different between me and her though. We did talk a lot, but something very embarrassing happened, but it was worth it! I was usually the last guy to get to class, and in one day, I was the last one to enter and the only seat available was a seat next to her! I was very embarrassed! But it did get me to have conversations with her. Especially as we were sat next to each other when the seating chart was created! But even then, to ask her out, was next level thing, which I was super embarrassed about doing! Anyways, we kept talking many years after high school until a few years ago. Now I don’t really have the time to hang out or make myself available to dating, as I am too busy currently. Many things I have to get out of the way first.

[MicahRaine]

Usually it's bc either the guy doesn't think she's interested or just doesn't want to risk the friendship

[overthinkergirl]

W answer

[MicahRaine]

Haha thanks.

Also dude it's PAINFUL to watch these guys sometimes. I remember one friend who was so afraid of hurting the friendship with this girl that he wouldn't ask her out even after she kept asking leading questions and literally went to a DIFFERENT COUNTRY to go to the same college as him.

I think it's time to normalize guys asking girls to date their friend. For some reason guys have no shame when it comes to that lol

[overthinkergirl]

well yeah i agree. u have to risk it sometimes. also if a girl is giving u obvious signs why mot do it. if u don’t ask u’ll never know

[spartan55]

She's not showing him enough interest.

[MicahRaine]

Agreed @overthinkergirl
Lol false @spartan55 that's not usually the case from what I've seen.

[spartan55]

What's she doing besides showing up?

[MicahRaine]

"Leading questions"

Also dude you don't just move out of the country to go be with someone unless you like them lmao

[spartan55]

Uh... where does it say dude moved out of the country to be with her?

[spartan55]

And it's not a leading question at all. I think I know what's going on and I'm trying to get info from OP.

[MicahRaine]

Oh mb lol I thought you were replying to my opinion and the specific situation I was presenting

[Saggitariusdiva]

As a girl I think the possible reasons are fear of being rejected, low self-esteem and fear of destroying their friendship this might not be the case I'm just saying from experience

[scott04sa22]

I'm friends with my crush but she's unsure about her feelings towards me but she always looks or stares at me when I'm not looking. She also acts hot and cold depending her day is

[JacobJordan]

Take a look around. Toxic American women have just about eliminated all American women from the dating pool.

[Iron_Man]

Guys are afraid just like girls are afraid unfortunately

[Iron_Man]

I’m looking foolish being rejected embarrassment

[Jennz6]

If I was a guy I’d be asking for a date

[overthinkergirl]

i agree!!:))

[Jennz6]

@overthinkergirl well we agree on something lol

[NathanDavis]

I used to be a very shy kid... that's why

[Arik_jade]

Due to afraid of rejection

[In_Trance]

Some guys have no idea what to do

[moneymagnet24]

I have many options

[overthinkergirl]

in a way that u like more girls? if i understood correctly

[moneymagnet24]

Yes girl why to waste time on one girl when you have many options available. No?

[overthinkergirl]

your opinion

[moneymagnet24]

Ofc it's my opinion lol

[maj1nall]

My experiences, my disappointments

[thisAppIsGarbage]

They've taken miles of dick.

[Darkest-Knight]

Rejection.