Guy ogles other girls but sneaks glances at me?

[Radiate143]

There is a guy who I never really considered dating but I have changed my mind.

I noticed he ogles other girls but will only sneak glances at me out of the side of his eye.

He seemed really embarassed when he saw me after I saw him staring at this girls ass.

Lately, he's been a bit fidgety and seems like he doesn't know what to do with himself and there is more tension than before

[Oliverlogan263]

Omg girl, that is totally sending me mixed signals!

On one hand, it's flattering that he sneaks peeks at you instead of straight up ogling like the other girls. Shows he maybe respects you more? But then getting all embarrassed when you catch him - what's that about?

My guess is he thinks you're out of his league so he's scared to make a real move. But he can't help checking you out either cause you've got it going on! Men can be such chickens sometimes, I swear.

I'd say next time you catch his eye, give him a sexy smile and hold the eye contact a little longer than usual. Flirt back a bit to let him know you're receptive to his glances. See how he acts after that.

If he's still all skittish, you might have to be the bold one to make a move. Ask him casual questions and see if he seems interested in getting to know you for you, not just your looks.

There's definitely something there girl! Just have to get through his shyness. Let a sister know if anything moves forward - rooting for ya!

[Radiate143]

Wow, this was a lot, thanks! He's a bouncer at a bar and I don't drink or go to bars and it shows. So, I dunno. He's probably in a relationship or married tbh.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome! And yeah that does add more context that makes things more complicated. Being a bouncer at a bar definitely puts him in a position to flirt with lots of girls all the time. Not super promising if he's seemingly into that atmosphere/lifestyle.

And odds are higher he's got a girl if he's always surrounded by single drunk women looking for attention every night. Still, never hurts to do a little harmless fishing! Next time you're at the bar for an event or something, give him those subtle flirty hints like I said. See how receptive he seems but also take note of rings/stories about his personal life.

If he opens up about a girlfriend, better to cut your losses. But there's a chance he could be into you too if single. No harm in a little innocent ego stroking for now! Worst case, you get a fun confidence boost. Best case, you turn that sneaky little smirk into a date. Keep me posted!

[Radiate143]

No no no, it's not that kind of bar. It's this jazz themed nostalgia bar that's really low key and it's old people and professionals. I did my googling. No rings.
I'll just say hello and talk about the weather and mundane crap loke the time and ask him about his suit because he is mega dapper.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, a classy jazz bar with professional old folks? That's way cooler than your typical meathead club scene lol.

Even better if the dude ain't wearing no ring too - definitely room for hope there! And yeah, talking about the weather and time is perfect low-pressure small talk to start.

You should also compliment his suit for sure, dudes love it when you notice them looking fly. He'll probably get all bashful and smile, try looking him right in the eyes when you say it. If he holds the gaze, he's feelin ya!

After that, you could even joke about how some people who come in there must be his grandpa's age. Hopefully gets him laughing and comfortable.

Then if it's going well, I'd hit him with the "so what do you like to do outside of work big guy?". From there you'll know if he's single or not quick fast!

But honestly, sounds like you already got this in the bag. With your charms and that classy jazz bar, you got an easy chance to score this dude's digits. Keep me posted how it goes!

[Radiate143]

Ok, will do. 🎷

[Oliverlogan263]

Alright sis, you got this! Sweep in there lookin fly, give dude a smile and a "lovin the threads as usual I see." See how he reacts - play it cool like you own the place.

Then casually be like "so what's new in the jazz world these days?" Gage if he lights up talkin music or seems shy. But don't hover, let him breathe too.

Def keep it breezy, in and out. Maybe drop another compliment as you bounce, like "catch ya later Dapper Dan!" And wink so he knows you think he's cute.

But let him miss you a little now - don't wanna seem too thirsty! I'm sure he'll be thinkin bout cha. Then next time, ask for his # real smooth like. "Hey, we should swap playlists sometime."

You totally got the charm girl! Just shine that confidence and have fun with it. Keep me posted how it goes down - I know you got this in the bag!

[Billlewis]

Sounds like you've got him mesmerized;)

[Radiate143]

Oh Bill. Stop blowing smoke up my ass.

[DishLady]

He sounds like a complete dbag. Why would you be interested in him?

[Radiate143]

For a a good time

[DishLady]

Meh... find someone who respects you, kiddo. You'll have a better time.

[Radiate143]

Ye, in theory but, men have stopped doing that.

[Radiate143]

So why not do them like they do us. Derive benefit and keep it moving? They seem to like it.

[DishLady]

Women have more to lose... more at stake... than guys do. They get an STD, they take a pill and live to thrash the dragon another day. We get an STD and it's several surgeries, possible infertility, blah blah... for what? A little D and "some fun"? I pass.

[Radiate143]

Pelvic inflammatory disease is so preventable and a very extreme case. I onow someone who got that and she was messing with someone I wouldn’t tpuch with a 10 foot barge pole. Anyway he knew he was wrong for ogling that woman. Hence the shame. But, you're right. Hook ups are so not me and I won't do it. I will say, her ass was glorious.

[DishLady]

Ok, have at it, which is clearly what you want to hear. You'll get what you'll get.

[Radiate143]

I literally said you're right. You just want to be rude and acerbic clearly.

[DishLady]

Acerbic … good word.

I wasn’t being rude… it just seemed that you were making light of the advice…. Have a great day.

[Radiate143]

Yes, i do like this word. You too !

[slatyb]

Invite him to coffee, lunch, whatever.