What do you think about spicy jokes with men?

[BlackCat999]

And guys, do you assume a girl is into you when she makes spicy jokes with you?

That's a huge issue for me where men tend to think I want a piece of them whenever I make a spicy joke. In my head, I'm just joking around like how two guy friends would do between them. I'm having a hard time getting a "love" interest to understand that concept which for me is very simple. I make these jokes whenever I'm alone or surrounded by friends. So It's just part of my personality (I don't share my spicy experiences, it's just random jokes... Again like how a guy would do with another guy). Or having a banal conversation about likes, dislikes or fantasies in the bedroom or more (which for me again, is a normal conversation to have between two adults).

Making spicy jokes/conversations is different than inviting him to have spicy activities.

This isn't the first guy I've had this issue with.
When two guys joke around on this subject, they don't perceive it as an invite unless the other guy would be obviously throwing signs out there. So why is it different from having a conversation with a woman.

[provokeesmokee]

I don't think spicy jokes mean someone is hitting on me. I will if they make spicy jokes about me in a positive and respectful way, and include physical touch.

Otherwise? It's literally just jokes. They're fun. I'll throw a few in too.

[BlackCat999]

See! That's how I think as well.

Unless it's an obvious attempt to flirt...
It's just a joke or a random everyday conversation with a friend that happens to be a guy 😩
But i understand that it all depends on how the guys sees you at first. If they perceive you as a romantic interest, they'll probably assume they're gaining points. And, think you're trying to flirt 😅
My mind doesn't work that way. Lmao

[provokeesmokee]

Mine neither.

If I want someone romantically, they'll fucking know about it.

But also spicy jokes are just too much fun!

[BlackCat999]

Exactly!
At this point I think it's a girl thing and are probably able to see men more platonically than the contrary.
Spicy jokes as you said are so much fun but I guess it has to be taken out only at specific times... Like fine lingerie 😭

[Anonymous]

No. But a woman pretty much has to tell me for me to know she likes me. So maybe I'm not the one to ask this.

I do think MOST women except plotting 🐓 teases avoid being too sexually suggestive for this reason. So either you're socially retarded or the former.

[BlackCat999]

I don't consider myself socially retarded. In that case, men who make suggestive jokes are to be considered that way as well.
As you mentioned women avoid this but is it our role to manage the impulses of men who can't seem to think with something else than their underparts? Or... Maybe some men should start seeing women as human beings first who can happen to love making suggestive jokes similar to them without having any undertones?

[Opinion Owner]

No, real women just have sets of standards they just don't engage men like this. Skeezers don't draw that line. Sorry you can't tell the difference.

[BlackCat999]

Okay, now you're being rude. I'm reporting you. Have a nice day 😅

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry you feel that way. Have a nice day! 🙂

[MicahRaine]

Spicy jokes are fine.

It really just depends on the situation. For instance, when my best friend's sister makes spicy jokes with me, it's straight comedy. But when my girlfriend makes spicy jokes about me, there's some truth to them.

[BlackCat999]

Oh yeah, well it depends on what's being said indeed. But my question is a bit deeper than that. To take your example, I assume your sister's BFF is a girl, right?
If she makes spicy joke with you, you wouldn't automatically assume she's trying to flirt or have intercourse. You'd assume she's making a hot joke just like how one of your buddies would do, laugh and move on.

I'd assume it's the same for your girlfriend. If she made a sex joke (even if it has elements of truth) you wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she's trying to have intercourse, right? Maybe you would and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm trying to figure out what makes certain guys feel like it's an actual invitation to sex.

[MicahRaine]

My best friend's sister is a girl, yes. Yep that's right, I assume that she is NOT trying to flirt or have intercourse. I respect her, myself, and my best friend too much to have sex with her while I'm not dating her, much less while I'm dating someone else. Obviously she's a girl, but she's also "one of the boys" so she pretty much gets to make whatever jokes she wants.

Yes, same for my girlfriend. I assume that she's not trying to have sex right that moment, but that she is flirting with me and possibly hoping to move things that direction.

For me, I don't feel like I have an invitation to have sex with Raine (my girlfriend) unless she verbally suggests sex, or starts touching/stripping either her or myself.

When around others/before I was dating Raine, I didn't feel that I had an invitation unless the girl mentioned sex/sexual acts in front of me or there was a somewhat unique situation. The former was pretty common in HS, and usually would end up with me turning down a BJ or mentioning that my full attention was on sports/school/work. The latter situation was also pretty common because in HS the girls would often come out and try to hook up with players after games, and even if sex wasn't explicitly mentioned, everyone knew that was the goal.

[BlackCat999]

Thanks for the clarification. From what I get :

- If a girl is a romantic interest (for you and for example your girlfriend) then her making sex jokes or discussing this subject is considered an invitation and even more so if accompanied by obvious signs. You'd assume she's wanting that but wouldn't make a move unless she made it obvious.
- A buddy girl would get a pass because well you perceive her as that, a buddy.

So maybe that's my issue, the guys in question perceive me as a potential partner and therefore take it as a potential invite. Whereas I just see them as buddies 😅
So I guess I should make these jokes with guys who see me as a buddy too then

[MicahRaine]

Yep that's accurate :) You said that much more succinctly than I did lol

Yeah that could be the issue. Sometimes it can be helpful to clarify with your friends that you're just friends :)

[BlackCat999]

Yeah, that's something I could work on. The question is how do you make someone understand from the jump that there's no possibility without seeming like a total butthole that feels like all guys want to jump in her pants 😅

[MicahRaine]

For me, I'm just straight up with them. I'll be like hey you seem awesome and I would love to be friends and nothing more. Some people don't like that, and that's okay. But some people love the honesty and a strong friendship is built :)

[BlackCat999]

Well I thank you a lot for your input, it was very eye opening. I'll definitely reflect on what you said 🥰
I totally appreciate your investment!

[MicahRaine]

Of course!

[paledreams]

If it's from a woman I'd fancy, sure 😁 if it's from a woman I'd not fancy, I'd ignore or get away lol 😂😆 I would just calmly mutter something about errands lol walk away Nicky walk away me lol

[Billlewis]

I don't have any problem with that.

[BlackCat999]

Thanks a lot for your comment, still there's my second question... Do you think it's an invitation for more when a woman makes a joke like this with you?

[Billlewis]

Possibly, but I'd need to hear the rest of the conversation. I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow or message me if you want. Thank you very much.