Do boys actually care?

[Anonymous]

Just to begin with, I haven't had the easiest past when it came to guys and I do have a lot of trust issues now.

Knew this guy from work, got really close for a good few months and some things happened between us which I wouldn't call platonic. We both left and started working elsewhere. We still kept in contact and he would message me at least once a week to see how I was etc.

Recently his house got flooded so I knew he was busy with that trying to get it refitted etc but he would still message me here and there. Our last conversation didn't end on a great note and then I just didn't hear from him in like two weeks. I was going to wait for him to message first but decided to bite the bullet and see how he was (I always give in). I said to him how I thought I would message first since he didn't bother and he said "Been crazy busy so sorry I couldn't message x" and then he goes "I have been putting my house together for two months x I'll try harder x" and I responded with just a 'Nah don't worry' and he goes " 'Nah im serious ill try harder now x everything’s almost sorted so i can actually talk to u properly x".

I kinda left it as that and said yeah fine and he goes "feel like you're not very happy" and I said I didn't know else to say and then I had to go so the conversation cut short.

My question is, from a guys perspective does it mean he actually cares or is that trying to cover himself? I am struggling cause I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but I also don't want to hurt myself by doing that.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I guess the question becomes where is this connection going? Already you only speak once a week which to me makes it impossible to build anything and I don’t think it can get any more platonic than that little communication. Then for you to be upset you didn’t hear from him in two weeks, whether he was lying about those 2 weeks or not, why does it matter? What is the expectation he’s supposed to meet but isn’t by not communicating more often? Because as friends, it can be 2 weeks or 2 months, you’re supposed to understand that life happens and friends get busy. I don’t think you were very considerate of that and quite passive aggressive once he did respond because you were mad about having to do it in the first place. You wanted him to beg in some form and be so sorry, but why? You need to figure out what this is before you’re reprimanding him for being unavailable, which I already feel like he is since you speak once a week.

[SweetPi]

Probably trying to cover himself! Men are never without their phones he can text or call while in the bathroom or before he falls asleep!

He makes it clear he is not giving you priority and caring only about what the wants to.

Your a nice side thing for him. He only cares if he might lose you!

[Asker]

That's exactly what I think. Do you think it's worth me seeing whether he actually follows through with his words?

[SweetPi]

Depends how much your into him or ready to move on?
Honestly I don't think it is! If he is doing that this soon in the relationship? Imagine how it will be latter and when it gets worse!

[Finchie40]

The fact that he hasn’t reached out to you is a red flag , if he really liked you he would of stayed in contact with me , so don’t fall for this shit , because there are guys’ that do care that wouldn’t go weeks without texting or calling a girl he really likes , so he just likes the convenience of you , Do yourself a favor and move on from him

[236color]

Ah, sorry to break it too you, if this once was a romantic/sexual relationship, it isn't anymore. This is the way I'd expect a guy friend of mine in similar circumstances to react. Does he care, yes but not like you want him to.

[Nikki1989]

Some are capable of love, compassion, and empathy, but you usually have to do some searching to find them.

[Anonymous]

Somebody told my boyfriend a nasty rumour about my past with dogs. It was true buy I always denied it. He nagged me into letting his 3 dogs do me while he watched.

[noohair]

Food and shelter are basic needs. When his home was threatened he goes into man mode to get it back in shape. This is normal. He did nothing wrong. You need to see his view on saving his home.

[spartan55]

Hurt yourself by doing what?

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya some boys care