Do boys actually have feelings or what?

[Anonymous]

I know this is probably a stupid question so don't attack me in the comments, I just wanna know. So far, most boys I've met turn out to be players, they either cheat on their girlfriends or they're flirting with you but don't actually mean it, to be honest I don't think I've ever met a boy that was completely crazy about a girl, it's usually the other way around. So many other girls agree on this, that boys are usually just messing around but why is this? I do know that boys theoretically have feelings I mean everyone claims they do but why does it never show then? Do you guys not get feelings as easily or do you just try to play it cool or something? Also, I just got out of high school so it might be the age, I don't know. Is this a younger boy thing or are boys just simply immune to feelings? Also, how intense are those feelings if they do exist? Like, do you also get this tingling feeling when you see your crush? Do you even crush on people?

[NicknameShirt]

I'm sorry you have this experience with men. Let me give you some clues.
1. Testosterone makes us way less able to express emotion and cry. As soon as it starts pumping through us, our tear ducts stop producing so much tears, we grow more "immune" to crying, and lose a little touch of all of that. But I would argue and say that when we really DO feel, we feel it very very very deeply, and with little outlet... It's very painful. Not like sobbing for three days painful and feel meaning with that, but "I feel like my soul is being crushed"- type of pain.

2. There are so so so many romantic, emotionally invested men, but they are usually the ones that don't show so much interest. They are the ones who quietly dream, listen to love songs at home and maybe shed a little tear here and there. I'm that guy.
There's a married woman in my school who is just so gorgeous and smart and caring. We have grown close. Obviously, since she's married and twice my age, I can't act, but man have I written poems to her that I'll never show, listened to love songs, teary-eyed, spoken about her to all my friends, made art inspired by my feelings. The love for her is truly the strongest emotion I can dream of feeling. And I view it as a gift to myself, to love.
When I see her I feel like an electric shock from my chest, and into my hands. I spend every moment I can observing how she moves, her face, and try to memorize the sound of her voice so I can replay it in my head. The initial urge isn't sex at all, it's touch, intimacy, looking into her eyes, tell her beautiful things. Sex would be the fusion of our souls, an almost sacred peak of passion.

You should really read some literature written by men, or watch any kind of movie, and what you see there is how men feel. We aren't a different race. We are just people with slightly different objectives and manifestations of emotion.
But that said - men do have a tendency to prioritize sex more then women. But women can be like that too.

[Asker]

First of all, I would like to thank you for putting all that effort into responding, and not just writing a "that's a stupid question ofc we do" kind one, it kinda makes my day, thank you. Second of all, it's also good to hear about your feelings with that woman because I really couldn't imagine those kind of deep feelings coming from a man, it's still a bit hard for me to understand, because most mask it so good, it actually feels like boys only fall once in a lifetime, and that's when they meet "the one". But that's probably not true, and I also get that it's a social standard but it's bullshit to be honest. However I don't blame you guys but the society. Also, you wrote "there are so many romantic, emotionally invested men, but they are usually the ones that don't show so much interest.", it got me wondering. Could you explain that a bit please? I'm sorry if it's a stupid question, you already explained it but aren't there any more details? how do you recognize someone like this?

[NicknameShirt]

Thanks for appreciating. I've fallen for three women in my life, each with more maturity. There is indeed a social standard that one shouldn't express it as "loudly" as women do, even though a guy might sit an entire day in school and just dream about the woman he loves. I wouldn't share that with a mate just like that.
To your question; this is just something I've found. I don't know about you women, but when you truly find a woman beautiful, it's kind of intimidating. Approaching her is hard, and you might just be stuck admiring her in secret for months and even years, and nothing happens. And so the guy just quietly sits through it for a long time, longing without acting, until he's out of love, and eventually falls again. And no other woman is interesting, just her.
It's just when you find a woman truly beautiful, it's almost like you feel unworthy of even speaking to her, far less present the idea that you want to be with her. Rejection would be too painful.

[Asker]

It amazes me how deeply a man can actually feel, it's almost like you can feel deeper than a woman, and that is a weird fact to perceive. But I also don't want to get my hopes up too high because this, as beautiful as it sounds, probably isn't the reason behind every single guy longing without acting. Some never wanted to act in the first place I guess. However you really gave me hope, so thank you.

[NicknameShirt]

I know right. I've been told I have talent for articulating in writing. I frequently do this for myself. Obviously I'm just one guy, and can't speak for all, but now you know we exist. Be authentic, don't go looking for love, but be open to potential guys who pop up in your life. Honestly, investing a lot of time in oneself eventually ensures a greater relationship when it eventually does happen. That is my philosophy. Allowing yourself to experience love for someone is a beautiful gift to yourself that can inspire you to get better in the meantime.

[EpicDweeb]

1. Yes we have feelings, though I've found a majority of guys who bother to talk to, or flirt with girls, are more interested in getting laid. I've found so many people on this sight who make it seem like it's some horrible thing to have not had sex or make it seem like the purpose of doing anything for a girl is for her to give sex in return. (If it wasn't clear I do not agree with this perspective).
2. While we get feelings, our bodies don't produce as many hormones as those of girls, so we don't actually feel as much, so for a lot of guys, it's easier to hide what feelings we do have. (Many people make it out to be an unmanly thing to have feelings so we don't tend to show them when we don't need to).
3. It's a thing for guys of almost any age, though not of every maturity. Some guys grow out of it and become mature, respecting, and respectable people... and other don't.
4. Our feelings for people can range anywhere from an uncertain attraction, kind of a "they're really pretty, I like them," to a "I love them so much and I'd do literally anything for them and don't want anything bad to ever happen to them." (From my limited experience at least.)
5. And yeah, I find I crush on people a lot but 9/10 nothing comes of it, and I'll usually make friends with them... then I'll get over it and we'll keep being friends for the foreseeable future.

Hope that answers your questions :) Sorry if anything was unclear, feel free to ask for clarification, more than happy to help.

[Asker]

Wow. This is so well put out I feel bad for not having questions because you obviously put a lot of effort into writing it and I really appreciate it, thank you sooo much🙂

[EpicDweeb]

It's my pleasure :) Glad to help!

[OtakuNeko666]

Well... some boys do want to love but some just doesn't want to stay with one due to what you said or they're just scared that you would leave them. It mainly depends on the guy. My advice and research "how would I know if he's playing me" or something like that and aim for guys who aren't idiots.

[Anonymous]

I can only speak for myself, but I have tons of feelings. More sensitive than I should be even. I'm not heartless or cold, I just don't express all of them openly because it would be inappropriate for me to do so. Players will play, it's just how they are. Some will mellow out, but some will also stay and not want a serious relationship with another person. The feelings I have for my current partner of a little over a year are the kind of "I'll never leave your side, anything you need I'll do my best to provide you" sappiness that I think a lot of people would be thrilled to have from their boyfriends. I still get an intense case of butterflies when seeing my partner and I no longer get "crushes" on others.

[Asker]

She's very lucky to have a guy like you, who's that loyal and loving after more that a year. You have no idea how many boys I've met and stories I've heard lately about boys who cheated on their girlfriends or were willing to cheat on them at a party or a festival just like that. It really made me wondering if there were any genuine guys out there but you gave me hope.🙂

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad! There a plenty of "nice" guys out there,. :)

[nothask]

most guys in highschool are players. it's very hard to find someone that won't skip around and dedicate to 1 person. guys in HS want to act big and tough, if they show any sign of his feminine side, he'll be shunned for it. we do have feelings, it's just a un-manly thing to do in this day and age. college will be different. more mature guys.

[Asker]

Yeah I hope so too. Thanks🙂

[ADFSDF1996]

"I don't think I've ever met a boy that was completely crazy about a girl, it's usually the other way around." I'm surprised to hear you say that, I always notice the opposite. It's usually the guys who want a girlfriend so bad.

I think the guys you've encountered just need to find the right woman. Men are very visual, so we'll obviously find many women attractive but eventually if we are seeking a spouse, it'll take longer to find the right woman.

[Asker]

I don't know, it might be because I'm a girl and I only know the girl side of every story, I only hear the girls whining about how boys are heartless and all that. And I don't know what kind of boys I've encountered but they never really wanted to commit. I'm also talking about friends or classmates not just my personal experiences.

[WiseTurtle]

you know the boy is striken once for all by that girl when she just suits to be queen of his heart, and by that i mean she just have all these requierements to get the heart's throne 😁

[Asker]

So basically all guys I'm gonna meet until I find "the one" are gonna be assholes?

[WiseTurtle]

not assholes definetly otherwise you will be deseperate 😁 i would rather say guys who will teach you couple things in life by the experience you will have with each one

[Asker]

Don't know how to respond to that.😂😂Cool name by the way.

[WiseTurtle]

you don't need to respond, you just need to welcome your life and say to it : "you're mine b*tch so don't be such a pain in the *ss" 😁

[Sylvainnn]

Yeah we do actually have feelings, my crush hugged me the other day, it felt like my heart was standing still

[Asker]

That's really cute I love hearing things like this😊

[Sylvainnn]

Yeah i loved it too

[Wurdom]

I'm a very loving person. When I'm in a relationship I make sure my girl knows she's everything to me, as corny as that sounds.

[Asker]

It doesn't sound corny at all, I think that's what most girls are looking for in a relationship. But I wasn't really asking about relationships cause once you're in one, you kinda know that the other person likes you. I meant the first phase, are you guys just trying to play it cool all the time like you don't care? Or is it harder to get you guys interested?

[Wurdom]

I've never pretended I don't care about someone I like unless there's a good reason I guess. I feel like a lot of girls get the wrong idea from nice caring guys and believe they have the wrong intentions.

[Mister_sarcasm]

You are probably trying to the date the wrong kind of guy

[Jameburn]

i got cheated on in 2 of my biggest relationships in my life

[Asker]

I'm sorry😞 women can be assholes too

[Jameburn]

naww it's ok hahah. it's all in being careful who u trust

[Anonymous]

We do. The other day my heart skipped a beat when my crush smiled at me

[Asker]

That's good to hear😊 do you guys talk?

[Opinion Owner]

Just starting to a bit more now. I'm trying lol

[Asker]

Well you should, its always worth a try

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I am. She's an awesome girl. I wish I knew what was going on in her head lol

[Asker]

I could try to help if you want.

[Opinion Owner]

lol Sure what's your suggestions?

[Asker]

I could try to decode how she's feeling towards you by her body language and the way you guys talk. But you need to give me some more information on that lol

[Asker]

I don't really know how else I could help if I don't know anything about the situation.

[Opinion Owner]

It's hard to say because she's quite confident and talks to lots of guys. But I think she has high standards so she wouldn't go out with some jerk. But our eyes often meet and she gives out this amazing warm smile

[Asker]

Well if she's very social, it doesn't necessarily mean she likes you if she's nice to you, she's probably nice to everyone. However it also doesn't mean she's not interested. I think if you notice her being shy around you or nervous, whatever kind of a confident girl she is she probably won't be able to hide her nervousness if she likes you. But some people can actually hide it really well so you gotta pay attention. I feel like, if your gut tells you something, you should listen to it, it's usually right. The thing is, you can never truly find out unless you ask her directly, and I know that girls are confusing af and I'm really sorry because I know how confusing boys are to me and I bet it's the same thing to guys. So I don't know, try to make slow moves, be careful, don't push too far, then just observe the way she responds to you reaching out.

[Opinion Owner]

Any ideas?

[Opinion Owner]

lol thanks. That's exactly what I was thinking

[Asker]

Also, I hate it when a boy doesn't know what they want, like when he hints he'd like to go out but doesn't actually ask me. But I don't know how you can do that while being careful. Maybe once you see she's kind of interested you can be a little bit more confident.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah see that's the thing. We wanna show we're interested but at the same time tread carefully. I'm trying to just talk to her and get to know her a little more. I wanna show I'm interested but at the same time not pushy. And I'm not as outgoing as her. I'm not shy. Just a little more quiet. So I'm not sure how I'd be coming across to her

[Asker]

Reach out slowly, girls appreciate effort. And then slowly build it up, but eventually you have to have the balls to ask her out. You don't need them for now tho so just one step at a time.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks! I guess I'm also cautious because I've been rejected before. But yeah it's true eventually I have to make a move or I'll never know

[Naydyonov]

I don't for most things, however if I like a girl than that's it, no others matter at that moment

[Anon85]

We obviously have feelings. You just have a poor population sample in ypur social circle.

[DanielKaluuya]

I think it's feminism. When you turn women into men, men turn into boys.

[Asker]

I don't get what you're trying to say

[OtakuNeko666]

What he's trying to say is that when women are (acting or behaving like) men ("men" as in expectation of being responsible, mature, gentlemen) Men become boys ("boys" expectations: silly, not responsible, immature, not gentlemen like.

[Anonymous]

Men have no feelings. Unlike women they are selfish shallow bastards who lie and cheat all the time.

[Asker]

Who hurt you

[Matt72]

Boys have feelings and know love. Women don't.

[Asker]

Who hurt you

[jobeta]

I'm numb about everything

[Asker]

Thank you for the clarification

[TheUglyMonk]

Emotions?
WHAT ARE THOSE?

[Uncut]

No we are emotionless

[MackFreeze]

Yes we do

[king34]

everyone one has feelings

[DamnAnon]

Yes. We have feelings. We not robot. We feel.