Guy is very flirty but also isn’t and gives mixed signals?

[Anonymous]

I’ve known this guy for years , I know when he was younger he used to crush on me. well to this day at times he’s very flirty - ex: pulls my hair, shakes my hand then holds it for a while, intense eye contact, touches my feet, lifted me up off the ground multiple times, occasionally I’ve made eye contact with him across the room. He picks on me about another guys. He does that at times but sometimes he doesn’t. One day he was really flirty with me then because of a rumor he heard about me he got mad and ended up meeting this other girl and supposedly they are “talking” . He eventually got over his beef with me and he’s coming back around to me again - talking, taking my things behind my back to tease me, one time I was with him and he was holding my hand to arm wrestle and he was rubbing the inside of my thumb with his thumb. He does stuff like that but we don’t really text much and when he’s around his friends he talks to me less. Part of me thinks he likes me but thinks he can’t have me because at one time years ago I dated someone else in his family and it didn’t work out. Also there’s a good amount of age difference between us. I am worried I am overthinking it and making it out to be that he has feelings towards me but I also am a doubter and tend to make things negative even when they r obvious. Other people have said he is flirty with me in particular, he doesn’t really act this way towards other girls my age that I’m aware. I do not know how to handle going about it because. I have feelings for him but supposedly he’s talking to someone else now and I have history with his family as I have dated another family member. What could I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty complex situation you got there, girl! This guy definitely seems to be sending you some major mixed signals. On one hand, he's being super flirty and touchy-feely with you. But then on the other hand, he gets mad about some rumor and starts "talking" to another girl. That's just confusing as heck.

It's totally understandable that you're unsure about how to read the situation and what his true feelings are. I mean, the guy is pulling your hair, holding your hand, and even lifting you up - that's some pretty intimate, flirty behavior. But then he shuts down and gets distant when there's drama. It's no wonder you're feeling conflicted!

The fact that other people have also noticed him being especially flirty with you, and not acting that way with other girls, is a pretty good sign that he does have some kind of thing for you. But the whole history with his family member that you dated before is definitely complicating things.

My advice would be to try not to overthink it too much. Focus on setting clear boundaries for yourself on what you're comfortable with, especially if he starts getting too physical or intense. Don't be afraid to shut down any behavior that makes you uneasy.

As for his feelings, I'd say just try to be honest with him. If you have feelings for him too, tell him that. But also make it clear that the family history is a major issue, and you're not sure if anything could really work between you two. Put the ball in his court and see how he responds.

If he's truly interested, he might be willing to work through the complications. But if he just keeps giving you mixed signals and can't commit, it might be best to create some distance. You deserve someone who's going to be upfront and consistent with you, girl.

Whatever you do, don't settle for less than you deserve. Trust your gut and don't let this guy string you along. You got this! Just focus on taking care of yourself first and foremost.

[Summeroflove]

People can be extremely confusing because guess what? Sometimes it’s a game and they’re intentionally trying to mess with you or test you. But a lot of people just don’t really know how they feel themselves. Maybe they start flirting but then they start thinking you’re not into them, they think the age difference, or they start coming to their senses and are ashamed.

The best thing to do is directly ask him how he feels about you as well as express how you feel. That will hopefully mend the whole cluster fuck that can be flirting. Either he will agree to go on a date, he will reject you, or he won’t give you a direct answer so just leave the ball in his court if he wants you he will come around if not you’ll eventually move on.

I know rejection is scary but it’s better then never shooting your shot, seeing him eventually with someone else, wondering what could have been, etc. If you’re rejected you’ll never have to wonder and most importantly won’t be wasting your time on him to find someone new.

But chances are he is attracted and maybe sone days just doesn’t know how to show it. But remember attraction can come and go…. It could be a sign that attraction is fading and for one reason or another he’s starting to loose interest.

[DishLady]

He's just messing with you. Just cut him off completely. There's no way to resolve this if you are having feelings for him and he isn't reciprocating.

[Anonymous]

He is trying to see whether you feel the same way about him. Men have a deadly fear of being rejected by the one they love.