What are some signs a guy is flirting and not just being friendly?

[Anonymous]

[MrCommodore]

Depends on whether he is shy or introverted, but regardless I would say a key sign any guy likes you is if he is always helpful and kind to you.

Guys are protective of girls the like romantically, however they can't display that in everyday life nowadays, so instead you will see little glimpses of his support of you in anything you are doing. He will back you over others, particularly if you're not their to defend yourself.

If you ask him for help outside of work, college or whatever, he will always try to help, unless something major prevents him.

[Asker]

I have happily married guy friends that do that though.

[MrCommodore]

Maybe they aren't happily married or maybe you fancy a married guy?
Otherwise why would you seek out a happily married guy for help when it's an opportunity to get a single guy that you like over?

[Asker]

I don’t fancy a married guy, and I wasn’t seeking out one for help. I’ve been cheated on and I would NEVER do that to another person, especially in the sanctity of marriage, which I hold to a high standard. I grew up with both of them. They are like my brothers. Have been for 20+ years. I was merely providing clarification to why I was asking the question and how it was different than the friends I already have. But thank you for judging someone you do not know.

[MrCommodore]

My apologies, I didn't intend to judge or be disrespectful to you, sometimes in written messages the tone comes across wrong.

From your initial question I assumed you were trying to understand some guy you just met. When you then clarified that you have married friends who do that, I then thought it was one of these married guys you were referring to. That's why I asked if you were into one of them or if you seek them out for help.

[Asker]

Apology accepted. Thank you. The guy I was asking about is one I’ve known for about a year, but I can’t get a read on him. I figured I’d inquire on here if there are any tell-tale signs I could look for.

[MrCommodore]

Cool, I never set out here to be judgmental to others, only to help if I can.
Ok, Is this guy giving signs that you sense are more flirtatious than friendly?

[Asker]

It’s hard to tell. He laughs at all my stupid jokes and teases me constantly. When he cracks a joke, sometimes he looks at me and winks. He’s not a big texter, but we have some banter back and forth at times. I’m really bad at this stuff though. I have trouble telling the difference.

[MrCommodore]

Most people have trouble reading signs, myself included. But from what you describe I think he is interested in you, especially the teasing and the little wink he shares with you if he tells a joke.

[Asker]

Wouldn’t he have made a move by now though? Although he went through a divorce with a wife who cheated on him. Part of me thinks that holds him back. They get along well enough and do an awesome job co-parenting their daughter.

I have bad luck in relationships so I always second guess everything. Every guy I ever thought liked me friendzoned me so hard. The ones I can’t stand want to marry me. It’s frustrating. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[MrCommodore]

I know a guy who's girlfriend had an affair 15 years ago and while he found love since then, I think it really knocked his confidence and he is more nervous now. So I can see how your guy might be more guarded and it probably does hold him back.

Relationships and even finding compatible partners is usually a wide awake nightmare, especially with online dating apps where lots of people are messaging numerous people at the same time. I couldn't do it, I think it would fry my noodle.

[Asker]

I bet. It’s awful to think you found someone and then have the rug pulled out from under you, so to speak. I mean, I probably wouldn’t have met him otherwise, but I wish he didn’t have to go through it. I just want him to be happy. A bonus if it was with me, but I want him to be happy.

[Guy13]

Touching.