What are the signs and cues a guy is being friendly vs being flirty?

[Paulalove98]

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+1 y

Sometimes I’m so clueless at reading things like this when it comes to guys lol.

[Anonymous]

It's not that hard to tell if you're perceptive to body language and non-verbal cues.
If he's smiling and joking with you, but you aren't picking up on any sexual vibes from his energy, he's just being friendly.

It's a hard concept to grasp, but everyone has that 6th sense if they know how to tap into it.
When anyone is flirting romantically, they can't help but have a certain look in their eye, tone in their voice, and carry themselves a certain way.

When you can learn to pick up on these subtle, non-verbal signals, it's easy to tell right away whether someone is being flirty or just being friendly.
Consider watching a few videos on YouTube about it, but really it's just about being aware of it and trusting your gut feeling.
Humans are more receptive to each other on an emotional level than people realize.

Same way you can tell when someone's pissed off, but they're trying to hide it. It's just a feeling you get.

(Note: not every guy who's nice to you is trying to pick you up. Most women could benefit from learning that)

[Part2603]

Attraction builds over time. Some guys might just find you sort of interesting, but if you flirt with them, then maybe it can grow into something more.

And sometimes you've got that look that he's really into and he's excited and physically attracted to you right away.

Usually if you're a young girl you can pretty much assume that every guy that talks to you wants to fuck you.

But there are levels of that too. Just because a guy wants to fuck you doesn't mean he's smitten with you.

Truly, the only way to know for sure is to flirt back. Or I suppose in your case since you think it's ambiguous, from your perspective you might think you're the first one taking the step in flirting.

Either way, good flirting is accentuating the gender differences between you two. It's about optimism and fun. Jokes, innuendo. Maybe a little personal insight.

[serious]

It is the intentions that are important here.

A guy who is genuinely friendly will not have any ulterior motive behind him being friendly. Meaning he does not want to impress the woman or make her like him etc.

A guy who is flirty will almost certainly have a motive behind doing this, which is he wants the woman to take interest in him. Unless he is flirting for time pass or for fun, the motive will be to take things forward.

[Still-alive]

flirty for me is when someone makes subtle sexual innnuendo's or jokes. I usually like to poke fun at whatever she said and turn it into a witty joke.

[JustMeL120]

Guys who make dirty jokes i find unatractive a stupid but thats just me some girls might love that.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 i don't mean crass dirty jokes.. i mean things with a tinge of sexual connotation to it.

there's a difference

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 another thing is that i usually wait until the girl mentions anything sexual to me before i start saying anything. so i already know if there is a boundary for her there or not

[JustMeL120]

personaly i dont like men who talk about sex ever. Honesly men who talk about sex are everywhere its nice to meet one more interesting.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 what about women who talk about sex? they just as bad?

[JustMeL120]

Yea and most men find them unattractive.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 lol you sure about that?

[JustMeL120]

Yes there are a lot of smart men out there. As a girl i have met many of them. I have met two types actaly the guy who talk about sex and the guys who tall about interesting stuff and i know exactly who i was more atracted to. Unfortunately those guys are rarely single.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 ok ill bit. how is it 'smart' to not date girls who talk a lot about sex?

[JustMeL120]

And this is just my opinion but attractivness has also got some scientific explaination. Anyone is capable of coming out with some dirty joke. Its not realy anything to do with science. I normaly come out with dirty jokes when i want to push a guy away.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 "I normaly come out with dirty jokes when i want to push a guy away. "

does that actually work? really? lol.

[JustMeL120]

Yes guys dont respect me when i do that. Of course they will try and use the opportunity to try their luck but nothing more. I will be nothing but a dumb toy for them. When i see that their behaviour changes i just walk away.

[JustMeL120]

I am naturaly a deep thinker and the only time i haver had guy show a genuine interest in me is after a deep conversation. All the other guys were showing an interest but it wasn't serious at all.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 you can have deep conversations and be flirty later. that is possible.

[JustMeL120]

All this is my personal opponion. I am not conventional. Thats why most girls have a boyfriend and i am single. I think i could easily do what other girls do. Go to the hair salon gym get nails done fake tan or whatever else they do to get a hot guy. But i can't do that because the guys they attract doing that are not my type. Maybe i will besearching verry long time for the guy who i want and maybe he doesn't exist. But i rather be single and dreaming than settle for someone i dont like. Tbh most girls would like a guy who makes rude jokes it kind of shows he's manly.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 for me personally i just ask about their boundaries and from their i know what not to say or do. its easy really. communication.

[JustMeL120]

Personaly the moment there are things that you can't say around your partener its already a toxic relationship your already walking on egg shells. A boundary to me is things like if you cheat then i will leave or if you disrespect my family. But saying to your partener you can make a durty joke thats more controlling.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 I strongly disagree. Its more about respecting what makes them comfortable around you vs not.

Perhaps layer in the relationship some boundaries can be lifted but usually they really shouldn’t be crossed at all.

[JustMeL120]

If some guy told me there are things i can't say in the relatuonship and used the word boudaries i would dump him straight away. If a guy doesn't like my sence of humour than why are we dating

[JustMeL120]

"Used the word boundaries about the jokes"

[JustMeL120]

To be honest relationships nowadays are strongly influenced by the media. Of some idiot has posted a video on youtube about boundaries in relationship then everyone will base there relationship on wjat she said. Tomorow if some celebrity came out and said that setting to many boundaries was a narsistic athing to do and poated it on youtube people will start believing it.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 lol ok well thats you then. most girls have boundaries. and when they tell them to me i make sure to respect them.

and yes a lot of guys have them too.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 i don't just follow youtube. i go by experience too.

[JustMeL120]

Before youtube boundaries were used but not like today people where able to pick up theor partners boundaries an know them enough to know what they were. On occasion partners would tell each other what they felt could improve there relatuonships. Nowadays people go round throwing the word aboundaries about this and that to the point where the partner is walking on egg shell because some random person went on about it on youtube.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 here is a good guide on boundaries

Types of Boundaries

There are many different types of boundaries, including:

Physical: Includes your body and personal space. Healthy boundaries include autonomy of your body. An example of physical boundary crossing is teaching children to automatically hug relatives at family gatherings. This may cause them to have weaker physical boundaries. Offering a handshake or just a "hello" are polite alternatives.

Sexual: Includes your sexual self and your intimate personal space. Sexual boundaries include choices around types of sexual activity, timing, and partners. These boundaries are crossed when someone pressures you into unwanted intimate affection, touch, or sexual activity.

Intellectual/mental: Includes your personal ideas, beliefs, and thoughts. A healthy boundary respects that others' ideas may be different. These boundaries are crossed when someone is dismissive, belittling, or invalidating your ideas or thoughts.

Emotional: Includes your feelings and personal details. These boundaries are crossed when feelings or personal information you have disclosed is belittled, minimized, or shared without your permission.

Material/financial: Includes your financial resources and belongings. These boundaries are crossed when you're pressured to lend or give things away, or to spend or loan money when you would prefer not to.

Time: Includes how you spend and use your time. When you have a job, relationships, and children or other responsibilities, it's challenging to keep healthy time boundaries. These boundaries are crossed when you have unreasonable demands or requests of your time, or when you take on too much.

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 "today people where able to pick up theor partners boundaries an know them enough to know what they were"

and a lot of those relationships likely failed because of a lack of communication and unintentional crossing of boundaries.

really this is like relationships 101 here. if you want a healthy relationship you must communicate your boundaries effectively. you can;t just guess at it.

[JustMeL120]

I have boundaries i dont think changing somebody to suit my preference us boundary. Changing a guy and telling them you can make that type of jokes around me its controlling. Its like i used to date a guy who used to spit on the floor. Of course i was young so tried to change him told him to stop. But nowaday i would just brake up with him because if thats what he is into i can't change him but i dont have to be around him either.

[JustMeL120]

Those are thing that people respect without needing to be told. The boundaries about ideas and opinion is that people are free to believe what they want but noone will realy belitle someones views unless they have a good reason.

[JustMeL120]

A reason that is too do with them

[Still-alive]

@JustMeL120 i dunno what else to tell you other than i disagree with you.

[JustMeL120]

That ok i am not asking you to agree there is no right and wrong in relationships. I am sure there are loads of people who love to throw the word boundary around in their relationship and perfectly happy and others that have never heard the word and are also happy.

[zagor]

It can be difficult. In fact today I was talking and joking with a cashier at the store when all of a sudden she got very professional and aloof. I think she thought I was flirting at that point, which I wasn't.