Hello There! (Woman speaking here LOL) First off, let me just say that you are not alone in your confusion! LOL There are plenty of people that do not partake in flirting, don't know what flirting is or cannot distinguish flirting from someone being "friendly". Flirting is showing sexual or romantic interest in another through a playful and indirect way so it may be easy to miss, especially if you yourself are not "playing the game". I personally prefer direct approaches so even if I know for certain that a guy is being flirtatious, I never take him seriously unless he chooses to ask me out DIRECTLY. Still for others, flirting is a fun and exciting precursor to being asked out. However, Flirting is still different than someone having GENUINE interest in you. There are plenty of guys that flirt but that are only doing so for pure entertainment, not because they really like you. If you want to know for sure either way, try flirting back and check his response. If he welcomes the flirting, then you have your answer. But if he seems confused or "taken aback" by your advances, then he may just be being "nice". Either way, nothing is "set in stone" until he makes it known without a doubt that he likes you.
What a good question! Magazines for girls (or women, lol) run this question all the time. So far, what I've learned is that flirting is more likely when she: 1- makes adjustments with her body such as playing with their hair, batting her eyes, etc.; 2- she allows less body space distance, in other words they get closer to ya; 3- she reaches out and touches you, like tapping your hand, adjusting your collar (mom stuff!). In the end though all this non-verbal behavior isn't hard science. So, best course of action is to be friendly and sociable and when the time is right one of you can make a suggestion to hang out together with your friends or something like this. Hanging out a couple times with each other can bring you closer as friends which can open the door for romance and the Kingdom of Massive Flirtation. There's also the possibility you find out it was just a moment's attraction and you move on.
Everyone flirts in their unique way.
With that being said, some people seem to recognize flirting more than others. I am with you as I am often in the same scenario and am oblivious half the time!
If I guy seems to pay extra attention to you, seems to be into what you're saying, and makes any excuse to have physical contact with you, he's probably fliring with you.
If the guy is introverted then generally just talking to you would be a sign that he likes you. Especially if he initiates the conversation.
If a guy is usually pretty confident socially then there's a lot of truth to the old idea that a guy will tease girls he likes. So if he's usually a nice guy and tends to tease you about things and enjoy getting you a little puffed up then he's probably flirting. Notice I said he has to be a nice guy! If its a douchebag then they're going to be cruel and rude to you, generally laughing at you with a malicious loud laugh. Whereas a nicer guy that's teasing you will generally smile a lot while he makes fun of you, he'll pick little things and chuckle softly when you get a little irritated. You might want to get some other friends to chat to him for a bit and tell you how he acted.
Not to be shallow but generally if you have some less attractive friends then it's easier to distinguish between a nice guy and a douchebag. The nice guy will talk pleasantly and might put up with the conversation whereas a douchebag might cut it short or ignore your friend completely.
don't know if this helps much but take from it what you can! :)
Please stop being so humble. This is the best answer, hands down! Thank you for your reply, was very helpful.
Haha, thank you. I'm glad I could help! :)
Sorry, but did you say "put up with the conversation?" That implies that attractive people (even nice ones) shouldn't have to talk to unattractive people. Is it somehow beneath them? Does being born attractive mean you shouldn't have to "put up" with unattractive people having a conversation with you?
Nah, you're reading too much into it Gabe. For one I never said the nice guy had to be attractive. I was just implying that the guy in question might put up with a conversation he doesn't necessarily want to have with someone he doesn't know. There could be loads of reasons. Maybe his friends are chatting about something interesting and he's missing out on it or maybe he just doesn't like small talk with someone that doesn't appeal to him, especially if he's introverted.
Honestly, no offence was meant. :)
I am so confused cuz my crush does tease me like that and laughs and he's very nice in person and then he confuses me again.. can you help me?
It's quite likely that he does like you @MissPoirot however every guy is different and you haven't told us how he confuses you...
Most guys, contrary to popular believe, don't mind if a girl initiates things. Especially if you do it in a subtle way like "would you like to grab a coffee sometime this week?" which sounds casual but at the same time you're effectively asking him out. So my suggestion would be to ask him out for coffee or something and to see how it goes. :)
(I always take along a pack of cards when I go with someone for a coffee. It means that if the conversation is dying down you can just whip them out and be like "would you like to play a game?" and that means you can have fun together without actually talking about anything. It'll also give him plenty to tease you about if he wins :P )
I hope this helps. :)
Thank you! Haha good idea :) it's just that in person he gives good signs but then he doesn't initiate texts and sometimes he acts really weird
I hope it goes well for you. :)
I wouldn't worry about the texts too much, some people just dislike talking through texts or are just really bad at checking their phones :P As for being weird there could be lots of reasons like if he's around friends then he might get a bit embarrassed or if he's got a lot on his mind then he might be a bit unresponsive. :)
This is completely true, although introverted people don't just talk to people because they like them. Aside from that, spot on.
Yeah, I'm not getting that point across very well, haha. I was more just using it as an example of one reason someone might not feel like talking to someone else. Except, in actuality, it might just be part of the reason someone doesn't want to talk. :) You guys get what I mean! :P
If you are not noticing, it means you don't really believe it is happening. This is the case with people who somehow don't believe they are worth being flirted with.
The other end of the spectrum is a girl who believes everyone is hitting on her.
Basically, if someone is friendly to you, it means they like you for whatever reason. After that, if they have a sexual interest in you AS WELL, then whatever they do to get unnecessary attention from you is considered 'flirting'.
ANYTHING can be flirting, as long as it gets MORE of your attention. This can even mean just saying hi.
Opinion
83Opinion
When a guy is giving you a lot of attention , when he is checking in on you consistently and keeping in contact with you , he is more than likely interested in you , and wants more with you , , if he barely reaches out to you and is only nice to you when he c’s you , then he just likes you as a friend , when a guy really likes a girl , he gives her a lot of attention and makes it a priority to keep in touch with her , she is best to do the same to him if she is interested in him , so if this guy is doing that to you then he more Than likely wants to be more than just friends with you , so the ball is pretty much in your court he is just waiting for you to play
Here is a guy's opinion on that.
A flirt usually has sexual overtone to it, often subtle, while friendly behavior usually does not. Here is an example:
Flirt: You look hot in that dress.
Friendly: That dress looks good on you.
Plus, if the guy repeatedly makes similar comments to you, it is likely that he is flirting. Only an occasional comment and he is just being friendly.
His body language can also be a hint... sometimes. If the comment is accompanied with a smile, it's probably a flirt.
A flirt, by definition, is subtle, and it's understandable that you can't always tell the difference.
Lol the question is from over a year ago!
@butterly248 It just showed up today in my "Questions For You", so I posted this. 🤔
Gag is broken lol
Most men don't feel required to be friendly. So he's probably flirting.
Body language usually clues you in
Friendly is picking up something you dropped, handing it to you, and saying "have a good day!" Flirting is trying to extend the conversation with attempts to make you laugh along with some other indications.
I'm kind of naturally witty and try to make people laugh, but I'm careful about it b/c I'm 56 and definitely not a creepy old man. Guys can get a look in their eye, and constrain their facial expressions in a way that says "just being friendly here."
If I were interacting with you, and you're younger than I, you'd have no doubt I was just being a friendly person. Even if somehow, some way, we struck up a conversation. It'd still be obvious to you. So if it doesn't scream at you "Hey! Just being friendly! Nothing to see here!" then seriously consider that he's being a Flirty McFlirtface.
Here's some things to look for: 1) constant attempts to be funny, 2) smiles a lot - that stupid smile is just plastered on his face, 3) leans in when talking - right up to the last possible millimeter before it'd be invading your space and stays there a while, and then invades your space for a millisecond before popping back out, he just created in your mind a sensation not entirely unlike wanting to be kissed - he made it cross your mind, 4) compliments you about anything at all "Gee, that's a cool way you're holding that glass. Never seen it done like that before," he'll desperately want to compliment you, and find anything at all that'll work, 5) gently says something impressive about himself and then goes into self deprecation so he's not coming across as boastful, and finally 6) teases you about something silly that catches you off guard and makes you feel just a teeny, tiny bit insulted - dead giveaway - he's picking a battle of wits with you so the fun can continue, and he can show you even more just how funny he is - also gives you a little "bad boy" vibe.
Not all flirtation sessions contain all of those, but in my opinion those are the big indicators.
But I'm just some guy on the internet, so someone will have a different take.
We have the same problem.
Is this girl just being friendly, with a lesser than normal need for personal space, or does hugging and pressing her breasts against me means she is interested? :)
The problem is flirting is intentionally an ambiguous and deniable expression of sexual interest. The second problem is guys and gals have different ways of doing it that gals and guys (respectively) might not interpret.
Some of it is purely unconscious expressions of interest i. e. You might flick your hair and I might straighten/tighten my tie as grooming activities. Body language is some guide but it doesn't mean much if it is un-calibrated. How does this guy/gal normally interact with other gals/guys? Worth your while googling body language & flirting.
Guys are less sophisticated/subtle than girls in signalling. If I am hooking my thumbs over my belt loop I am quite probably drawing your attention to my crotch at least unconsciously.
For myself I will take an opportunity to make momentary physical contact with you - acknowledging something funny you have said is an easy one. I will minimize personal space between us. I probably won't say "You've got great tits" but if I cracking onto you there will be something I quite like about you and I will make comment on your delicate fingers or eyes etc etc. Plus I will probably be looking at what I do like and that might be your tits.
can't talk about other guys... each dude has his own way. But for me... this is the difference I have seen in myself (and have been told by gals too)
Example 1: She is talking (it could be what her grandmother said last night or it could be thermo nuclear devices)... I find myself staring at her eyes/lips without actually hearing what she is saying. At times I break out of this reverie when she says "hello! say something!"... I dont even realise that she stopped talking
Example 2: Arguments/ Disagreeing to what she is saying. With friends (girls and boys)... the discussion can get serious (Im not talking about fighting or quarreling)... but when Im flirting... I avoid a discussion by saying something witty
Example 3: I'm more guarded with my habits... appear a bit more polished / gentlemanly... with friends you dont mind wiping your mouth on your sleeve... couldnt care less about opening the door for the ladies... etc
If the guy is introverted I agree with "The_Bearded_One" and he's introverted if it took him making glances for a long while for him to finally approach you and if you feel the conversation dulling because he feels more comfortable if you talk to him.
To know if the man is extroverted look for if he approached you relatively quickly, and if he seems to have a smoother (less "ums", and pauses) talking style. In the case of him being extroverted look for "critical thinking" in the conversation, he'll touch on multiple topics, and talk in depth not just moving from question to question.
Now I personally believe when sexual attraction is involved most situations start out as flirting, if they continue beyond 5 minutes and the conversation is not superficial then it becomes a purely friendly conversation.
I'm not so sure it can be defined in a black/ white manner , its a general interpretation , I'd begin from the point that ALL these interactions are in some way flirting and looking for a result , I'd say in the example given ( where your friend picked up on it ) that 100% he was being flirtatious , to try and define the absolute " he does this / that " is incredibly difficult , and frankly not remotely accurate.
Start from the point that they are all flirting , and play along with it.
If he asks for your personal contact info and especially asks you to “hang out” with him. No straight man is going to waste his time connecting with and arranging to hang out with a woman he just wants to be friends with.
Now about the word “interested”. That can range from him being on the fence and wanting to get to know you better OR having a huge crush on you. But he isn’t going to waste his time, effort and resources on a woman he doesn’t feel at least semi attracted to. Men do not seek out women to just be friends with them. Remember that. We might be friendly in social situations but if he wants to connect beyond that well chances are he really wants to connect.
Does it really matter? These are just words some people made up at some point. Most men will be friendly with a girl when in the exact same situation if it were a man they would be indifferent. Not necessarily because they want something, even if just for the possibility to be open in the future, they will try to show their best face. And maybe hope you'll want more, but if not, it's still good.
From your point of view, it's just a man being friendly. What does it matter what it's called? Enjoy them being friendly. You have no obligations.
you really can't...
but let me tell you something.. flirting is the road to sex. it is like friendly-->flirting--->sex/romance
if it is sex or romance you don't want try to keep it is below the threshold.. try to keep the needle below red zone by not feeding into or fueling or encouraging him further..
think of this as a pressure gauge... so keep the pressure regulated for a lasting relationship... else explosiion or implosion will occur and result may not be always good..
i don't think there is nothing wrong in practice a good flirt it is a good positive reinforcement.. boost your self-esteem.. so better you realize when you flirt and being flirted to extract the full benefit of it. what is the use of praying with closed eyes when god is listening to your prayer sitting next to you until you finish your prayers...
think about it
Distinguishing between friendly and flirty behavior can be tricky, as it often depends on the context and individual personalities. Flirting may involve more playful teasing, extended eye contact, and compliments. Pay attention to body language and tone of voice – flirty behavior can be more suggestive and lighthearted. However, it's important to remember that everyone has their own style, so when in doubt, open communication is the best approach. If you're unsure, you can politely ask the person about their intentions or let them know how their actions make you feel.
ONLY WOMEN COME UP WITH THE IDEA THAT HAVING A GUY AS A FRIEND IS A NEAT IDEA.
Guys NEVER think "wow, she would be a great friend"
Guys only stay "friends" because they want to stay on a woman's radar. Then maybe one day your both single, and you offer a blow job or more, then boom goes the dynamite.
So yes, he is interested, yes it is a good sign, yes he wants to have sex with you, yes he will date you...
You can't; being nervous around an attractive female makes all sorts of approaches irrelevant. It could sound friendly, brotherly or just a hint of caring about you, but deep inside he wouldn't mind being in your arms at any moment, it's just inexpressible in a humanely modern way. Sorry, but that's how the majority of men are like, except for the players/experts or older men who know their stuff.
If you want useful information on those, YouTube things like: how to flirt with women or show your sexual intention, or how to pick up women you're interested in... etc.
Uhhh... it's a tough one. The flirting is very close to friendly behaviour. And how people act varies from person to person. What for me is friendly for you could be flirty. There is a need to observe it in time. Then, you can see if some behaviours (teasing, physical contact and so on) are increasing or staying on the same level.
This is from over a year ago lol
If he is talking to you like he talks to his friends, you are a friend. If he makes numerous exceptions for you, he probably likes you. Exceptions would be, changing his schedule to be around you, asking a lot of questions quickly after meeting you, and excessive eye contact. Look for body language, too.
1) realize a nice/attractive guy is chatting you up 2) chat back 3) like him? YOU flirt (subtlety is key) and he will react 4) watch his reaction and respond accordingly 5) subtle flirting can save you scarin off a good conversation or open him up to come on strong
We like seeing that door open. ;) best of luck
We men are an impossible type of creatures... Don't try to figure us out... 😄
Men and being friendly.. Men and flirting.. This line is so extremely thin that sometimes even men not know they are flirting.. And thus go home with a slap in the face. 😄
OK I write this very very lightly... But you know what I mean...
Cheers...,🍷
The question at this point should be is it interest or lust. Guys are fluctuations period our motives are the only thing you should guess. Whether it be just to make your day get in bed or form a relationship. Look at the attentiveness the depth of his questions and how he responds to yours.
I look a girl in the eyes a lot and give her hugs if I'm being flirty and with my age of being 24, I like being flirty and fiendly because that's how I get along well with a girl I'm really interested in, knowing I really like her while being myself, being flirty and friendly.
For me, I flirt with every girl I come across, regardless of age. So flirting and friendliness are the same for me. Unless I ask a person out point blank, I'm just messin around with them. But most men don't flirt with women unless they like them, so you have to gauge the person individually.
I have pretty much the same problem figuring this crap out. But one thing I can say, if a guy flirts with you there is a very very very very very good chance he's interested... From personal experience I can tell you If I do flirt 98% of the time I'm interested. Unless the girl is fat or ugly or otherwise unattractive and then there is a zero percent chance.
I think that one is hard why because I have only seen very few girls do it right to just be cool and relax. And just be the guys friend. My theory on it is only talk to him when there's a whole bunch of you guys all together start out like that a whole bunch of girls and boys or just one of the group and then when he see's you alone you guys will just talk like friends.
Good question. Unfortunately there is no definitive answer. I’ve had several instances where I read the situation wrong and it caused me to doubt many following situations. My default is assuming they’re just being friendly. Especially if they’re rewarded for it, such as getting tips for a various service oriented jobs.
Get to know the guy as an individual. Not every guy is the same. Social intelligence, reading situations definitely helps. But most important is learning who he is, as a person. Then you'll understand why he does things. And not overthinking, also a big thing.
i think it's better to not assume but if it's something like wanting that you hold hands and see if it fits that's red alwrt or tucking your hair on your ear and the like i think these are pretty obvious signs
Generally I throw in a little flirting just to tease my friends because what way to spice up a friendship by keeping them in edge, it's kind of pay back in a friendly way. If I like a girl I'll let them know usually but other than that I tease them a bit for sake of humor but it's like a hug or complimenting them a lot or just being really nice to them.
Lol it can be hard at first esp if you like him and your judgement is clouded
I don't know how to explain it but the vibe is just different. The guys a sparkle in his eyes and touches or compliments you
if they keep on coming back and seem to like it then its most likely flirting. and if you really wanna verify then kinda cut them off of the flirting a bit and see how they take it.
@miskiss it means he didn't want to stop. he liked it. he wanted it. and he probably had hopes of taking it further.
@mykiss
With as Much Dating and mating I have Done, Hun, For many Years, Getting my Number is a Step in the Right Direction in Telling Me he Wants a Date and is Not just Flirting. xxoo
I always had issues where I liked women who seemed friendly but weren't necessarily flirting. I usually never let them know and one opened up to me that she always found that guys fall for her when she's just being friendly. But I think it's the opposite for guys. Ask yourself, is the guy as friendly with other women? If you never see it, assume not or that he may be trying to focus on you when you're around.
If they're paying attention only or nearly completely to you and they're feet are facing you (Ik weird tell, right) then they're flirting, if not they're just goofing
You can't!
A player will make it obvious. However, a shy guy will just be friendly to you. The best thing to do is see if he's talking about other girls he likes around you... if he's not, then he likes you! And wants you! (not others). If you show interest, and the guy doesn't back away, that means he likes you.
TRUST me.
Thats a very good question. I don't know if its that easy to tell some times. You need some instinct on that. Are you flirty with guys? that can help you recognize things. I can do both, be flirty with a woman then just friendly, then later flirty again, so it just depends on the moment. Good luck figuring this out, he he.
I could pretty much say the same about woman since married, has bf or single all flirt the same way. As a guy I'd generally go out of my way to talk to a girl I like, smile a lot and try to be funny. If it's a female acquaintance I'm not interested in I may only say hi or keep it as short as possible but friendly. If he likes you he'll look deep into your eyes a lot as he's trying to read you also, all your jokes will be funny and he will talk to you for as long as you show interest/let him
The rule is guys are never just friendly towards a beautiful young woman. They always are looking for a chance with her. And in a permenant state of "testing the water"so just keep that in mind until u r over 40.
I'm in theater, and usually my male performers just like to attempt to snag their pretty actresses and they are usually just joking or they could be a deep infatuation :) (that would be a smirk of memories of mine)
My personal method is to see if he's behaving the same with other girls.
It's very easy, if you think he's flirting with you, he probably is.
Women on the other hand... oh boy now that's incredibly hard to figure out.
You can't. Nor can they. That's why you have to be explicit some times.
Was there a wink and a smile with eyes locked, or a quick glance and half smile, the latter friendly, the first interested in you
I have no idea the only time I have been asked out was by a guy who only spoke like two words to me. I'm curious!
Its so hard to tell because usually in our generation guys could be so rude that when they're nice its as if they are flirting.
My opinion? Some women like to FEEL they are being flirted with. (EGOCENTRIC) even with someone just being friendly and making conversation.
Oh if he makes sexual jokes n try discussing sexual things or references n tries to touch u one way or another it may very well be flirting..
Question is from over a year ago 😅
@butterly248 woww whtt i just noticed it... how did i even ended up on here answering this... i feel so stupid now
Your not stupid. It is the gag system that is stupid 🤣
@butterly248 well who's going to blame them...
I think i saw tht 5x points n i answered...
I rhino I did too lol
@butterly248 ohh.. well thts a relief hehe
All guys act friendly in order to not look like a creep. Friendly or flirty... they all want to get in your pants... hehe
Pretty much what most girls think 👇
It's hard for boys to. It's reall hard to tell the difference between friendly talk and flirting. If he spends more time with you and wants to hang out with you a lot a man is flirting with you.
Most of the time, if a guy goes out of his way to speak to you--as in, it's not a work project, school project, business, or he has money to gain--then he's flirting.
There is a fine line between the two, so you can't always tell.
Another question from over a year ago :(
Maybe don’t worry about it and just enjoy the conversation, flirting and personalities. If someone wants to ask you out they will. If you want to go out with a guy, ask him. Don’t wait for chivalry.
If he's being really nice and he's single. There is a HUGE chance that he is flirting with you.
Here is a simple tip to tell the difference.
Is he talking to you? Then he is flirting.
Physical contact. Flirting always involves brushing up against someone or touching, hugging, etc. If there's no physical contact, there's no flirting.
If he's talking to you and making jokes he is flirting.
Well that's what my crush does but he could still see me as a friend right? Because he's all nice and funny and one moment I think he likes me but the next not so much
Don't rack your brains unnecessarily. What one guy sees as flirting is just harmless fooling around to another. You can rarely tell in advance whether and how the guy will react.
i think its very personal and hard to determine. i would just be honest and ask
You have to have a good detailed eye and really understand the difference. Know the guys style
If he is single and hetero, it is likely to be flirting, or an open expression of attraction.
To be honest the best way is to ask. But if you don’t want to use “sociology super powers” basically read the energy they give off. A lot of eye contract, maybe some love taps, showing interest in you. You not sex, not looks, you.
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