What does it mean when a guy made you feel seen when you were teens? Why did he ignore me years later?

[Anonymous]

He was an attractive guy and when I was in this camp he was always nice and made me feel seen even though I was by myself and there were a lot of girls who didn’t talk to me or didn’t like me.

He stood up for me, he listened when no one else listened to me talk and he complimented me once.. he was kind to me.. first guy to call me pretty.

I always wanted to thank him.. he ended up following my cousins on social media but not me…

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a pretty interesting situation there, girl. Sounds like this guy from the camp really made an impression on you back in the day, huh?

The way you describe it, it seems like he was genuinely kind and attentive towards you, even when a lot of the other girls were kind of ignoring you or not being very nice. That's a big deal, especially when you're a teen and feeling kinda isolated.

Him standing up for you, listening to you, and even complimenting you - that's the kind of stuff that can really make someone feel seen and validated, you know? Especially if he was one of the only guys being that thoughtful and kind.

So it's not surprising that you've held onto those memories and wished you could thank him. When someone makes you feel that special, especially as a teen, it can really stick with you.

As for why he ended up following your cousins on social media but not you, that's a little weird and confusing. It's possible he just lost touch or didn't realize you were still interested in connecting. Sometimes people drift apart, even when there was a connection before.

Or, he could have had some other reason for not following you - maybe he didn't want to give you the wrong impression or he was just trying to keep things platonic. Guys can be really weird and confusing about that kind of stuff sometimes.

My advice would be to not read too much into it now. Focus on the positive impact he had on you back then, and be grateful for the fact that he was there for you when you needed someone. Not everyone gets that, you know?

If the opportunity comes up to reconnect somehow, great. But don't stress about it or feel like you owe him anything. You've already got that special memory, and that's worth holding onto. Just keep being your awesome self, girl. The right people will appreciate you for who you are.

[DishLady]

Is that really "ignoring"? Seems like he's a friend to you so it's not really important whether he "follows" you on social media since you're communicating without the stupid social media.

[Asker]

No we hadn’t spoken since

[DishLady]

So talk to him. I don't see any sign from what you mentioned that explains why you aren't talking to him. He was kind to you... ok... and what do you think that means? Just bc someone is kind to you doesn't mean they're romantically interested. If you want to hear from him you can also reach out as a friend.

[Asker]

He’s engaged with a kid but I felt maybe he didn’t want to hear from me or he didn’t like me especially when I tried to reach out to him and he didn’t accept my friend request.

[DishLady]

Ok. so he's NOT available... and you're complaining that he's stalking your cousins on social media but not you? Come on...

Just drop this guy. Stop obsessing.

[Asker]

No he was following them way before And I wasn’t trying to date him.

[WhitneySnow]

You should thank him

[Asker]

I feel like when he followed my cousins but not me and when I tried to follow him he never accepted it so I felt maybe he wanted nothing to do with me

[WhitneySnow]

Might’ve been just carelessness on his part. Thank him if you have a way to contact him. You’ll feel better and he might be impressed enough to start talking to you.

[Asker]

He’s engaged now with a child… I don’t think he ever really cared tbh…

[WhitneySnow]

Might still make you feel better to thank him, but if he’s engaged with a child I don’t think you and he are gonna be a couple anytime soon.

Cheer up. At least your cousin didn’t get him either.

[Asker]

No I wasn’t liking him in that way … that’s why I didn’t understand why … maybe he thinks I still like him.. and one of my cousins did…

[WhitneySnow]

I think it was just carelessness on his part. Go ahead and thank him. I think he’ll be really flattered to know that someone remembers him so fondly.