Is he courting me?

[Anonymous]

I recently unblocked a man’s number and Facebook account, after he sent me a friend request on a dating app that we both use. I told him I’d blocked him because I’d found some of his erratic behaviour made me uncomfortable, as well as not feeling emotionally ready for a serious relationship with anyone, after having been stalked for three years.

I felt that I don’t want to bring trauma into a relationship and I want to get treatment so I can heal first. So I’m not a mess or a burden to anyone.
I said it’s up to him if he can be patient and take things slowly. He said he still likes me, finds me very kind and beautiful and that he can be patient and take things slowly.

This morning, he added me to Instagram and proposed that we focus on building a friendship for 6 months, then we decide by then if we want more or not. He said I have his support and that he’ll ring me tonight.

My interpretation of this is he’s interested but respects my need to move slowly.
We both have Asperger’s.

[Oliverlogan263]

It does seem like this guy is trying to court you and build a relationship, even if he's respecting your need to take things slow. The fact that he's reaching out on multiple platforms, expressing his interest and attraction to you, and proposing a timeline to transition from friendship to something more - those are all signs that he's interested in pursuing a romantic connection with you.

The fact that you both have Asperger's could also play a role in how he's approaching this. People with Asperger's can sometimes have a more direct and structured way of communicating their feelings and intentions. So him laying out this 6-month plan to build a friendship first before deciding on a romantic relationship makes sense.

Overall, it does seem like he is genuinely trying to court you, but in a way that accommodates your need to heal from your past trauma first. He's being upfront about his feelings, while also respecting your boundaries and giving you the time and space you need. That's a pretty mature and thoughtful approach.

I think your interpretation is pretty spot on - he likes you and is interested in pursuing something more, but he's willing to start slow and build a friendship first. That shows he's willing to be patient and go at your pace, which is a really good sign.

Just keep being honest with him about your needs and feelings. If you ever feel uncomfortable or like he's pushing too hard, don't hesitate to speak up. But from what you've described, it seems like he's making a genuine effort to court you in a healthy, respectful way. Good luck, girl!

[Anonymous]

There are two massive fails right there in your first sentence.

[Asker]

Well, you try being stalked for three years where you’re afraid to leave the house and end up suicidal and in hospital and see how well you turn out. 😊

[Asker]

I gave you a thumbs up not because I agree with you, but because I understand how someone who’s never been abused by a man could judge someone who has been. The fact is, you don’t know how you’ll feel or react unless it happens to you.