Does every guy have the same purpose for Snapchat?

[Noteboat01]

For example, like I talked to my man on Snapchat every single day, but we’ve also had a streak for nearly 800 days… But I also wonder if he actually has guy friends he talks to on there or if it has to be other women because there’s time where he doesn’t answer me first, but he does talk to other people first thing in the morning but other days it’s constant talking to me first thing in the morning or talking to me all day long but we’ve been best friends for over two months in a row nearly 3 months in a row on their and I’m getting concern now when I bring up being a priority and expecting to be number one because if I’m going to be his girlfriend, I expect to be number one other than his family and more than his friends so I guess I should be better at maybe texting him instead of snapping him, but I do know that’s the best way for him to communicate. I do get a response and I know he will respond no matter where I talk to him. I’ve always known that he will always respond, but he responds faster on Snapchat. I have learned that so I just noticed his snap score goes up a lot every single day but particularly lately. I’m worried that he’s talking to other people suddenly even though he’s swearing up and down that it’s just me and I’ve got his phone password and everything Because I asked for it and I asked him to be more open with his phone but as soon as we started having more serious conversations, I notice him pull back a little on our conversations on Snapchat so does every guy have the same purpose that mean that they have to be talking other women because they have a Snapchat or does it mean that they just have other GUY friends or brothers or family members that they also communicate with on Snapchat Does it have to mean that there are other women in the picture even if he’s got girls that are strictly friends or family and cousins that he’s got on there and I do know that that happens

[HollyK21]

First and foremost with trust issues like that you should’ve never gotten into a relationship before you healed. Now it sounds like you’re in an LDR which is the worst possible relationship style for someone with trust issues because here you are - no peace of mind and for what sounds like no good reason. Your behavior is so toxic and if you keep this up you will lose him.

[Noteboat01]

Greatly appreciated and yes, it is a long distance relationship, but also I don’t say anything when I have these problems. Therefore he doesn’t know about them. I only bring things up when it has to be brought up because I’ve been in therapy as well because I’ve been working through my issues. And it’s not toxic when you know how to be respectful and handle it. We have a lot of history that’s not in there, but I couldn’t put it all in there. It only gave me 2000 characters.

[HollyK21]

But you have said things, I mean you have his passcode information, you keep tabs on the things he does on snap and who he’s talking to. He has to reassure you a lot because it seems like until he’s doing exactly what you want him to do, you won’t be happy. I’m not sure what’s disrespectful about his snap score going up, or if he talks to a friend first before you, and this is honest feedback coming from someone who’s engaged, living with her fiancé. If you’ve been hurt in the past, that’s fine, we all have trauma. But as a functional adult it’s so important to heal that stuff rather than make the next guy responsible for someone else’s sins. I have zero bias here, I don’t know either of you and don’t lean towards either side. I’m just looking at this behavior of yours and it’s so driven off trauma, it’ll surely drive a wedge between you if you don’t get it together hun. This is just from one woman to another with nothing but respect. Lastly, you are right, I’m sure you have a lot of history but at the same time, if anything in the past happened that maybe he’s done and you can’t fully get over it or trust him, then why he with him? Seriously, why be in a long distance relationship where the most fundamental element (trust) doesn’t exist because you have unresolved trauma whether it’s due to him or someone else?

[HollyK21]

**why be with him

[StevenMcGarrett]

I don't know a lot about Snapchat but it sounds like you are overthinking it. Is everything else okay?

[Noteboat01]

Fear. I don’t wanna get hurt again because he’s the last person and the first person I fell in love with after being hurt by my ex fiancé. He left me for another woman, and I guess the woman above who commented is right. And I’m just scared of getting hurt again because I’m not a part of every bit of his life. And therefore in the past has been something people have used to hurt me and I’m afraid of that happening again because I’ve asked him questions about women that I’ve seen on his phone and even though he has given me direct answers and calms my nerves. There’s a whole lot of history that I won’t put in here and bore you with but a lot has happened and we’ve worked through a lot and I just don’t want anything to happen.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Oh okay. Do you two live together?

[Noteboat01]

No we do not. He lives 2 1/2 hours away.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Oh well go live with him.

[HollyK21]

It’s ok to be afraid but one thing you have to under Noteboat is that if someone’s gonna cheat — you can’t stop it. You can have eyes on them as much as humanly possible, be with them all the time except for work or school, it doesn’t matter. If they aren’t a faithful person then they’re just not gonna be. That’s why trust is so important and in this case you either trust him or you don’t. If you do — then focus on that; don’t create unnecessary issues just because your ex-fiancé was a trash bag. If you’re just too traumatized and broken to give this guy your trust then make peace with that and be single. No more long distance and worrying about what he is or isn’t doing, have peace of mind instead and continue your therapy and self-development until you’re in a better place to date a man again.

[jahaims]

Adults that use snapchat are losers.