How do I control my butt in public?

Question

I have a farting problem. Whenever I fart, it ALWAYS comes out rippling loud. I can't let it out quietly no matter how hard I try. I can't hold it all day. How do I control my butt in public?

JacquelineBuan · Accepted Answer

Hahaha I'm so sorry, I mean your situation is unfortunate but it made me giggle. Don't mind me, I'm immature :))

Okay well I'd like to give a lazy response and say "just try to release it slowly- sneak it out so it doesn't make a really loud noise" but that would be selfish so here's my inner nurse talking:

-Avoid gassy foods, such as dairy, fast foods and drinks, spicy foods, and vegetables such a broccoli.
-Make sure you eat on a schedule, preferably three times day and make sure it's enough to coat your stomach. Our bodies secrete acid on a schedule in order to prepare for digestion, and if you skip a meal you're sitting around with a tummy full of uncoated acid and we know what that leads to..

if all else fails, slightly lift your bum off your seat so that the sound will be less audible :P

hope this helps! sorry you're in such a terrible situation

LittleSally · Accepted Answer

Hahaha I laughed so loud reading the first part of your question.
Control your butt? What did you train it to do, man? O. o

Haha

Maybe find a place that you can do that in that is private... like a bathroom, or an alleyway. Hahaha I don't know.

ncannon18 · Accepted Answer

Going to the restroom would be your best bet, because it could save you from public humiliation from people who hears you fart. No need to feel ashamed by this because of the fact that everyone goes through these stages of problems many times in their lives.

kambo_trick3y · Accepted Answer

You don't just let it go. Let it go.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

try to hold it in in public lol.

Climber · Answer

It means you have too much gas in your testins. Do you eat quickly or talk a lot during earting? Then you take in a lot of air. Try to avoid this. Also try to avoid vegetables that produce gas. If you eat fruit, eat it on an empty stomach in the morning and never after a meal (it will start fermenting because the meal digests more slowly.). Don't drink beer.

BellePepper · Answer

Invest in Beano until you work out what's causing noisy digestion?

Anonymous · Answer

You hold it in and get a stomach ache.

Anonymous · Answer

Dude's got something to say

zorro8888 · Answer

Stop holding it all in, just go to the bathroom whenever you need.

abundantlyrich · Answer

You got a digestive problem... or it's the food you're eating.

Anonymous · Answer

Pull your butt cheeks apart so there's less noise or go to the bathroom.

Tmoney12345 · Answer

I'll be your scapegoat, hahaha

Gooseman · Answer

That's kinda hot

SurströmmingLover · Answer

Put some tape

How do I control my butt in public?

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