Eating disorders: Weird thoughts?

[Tescosfinestmilk]

Before I start, I'd like to point out that I suffer from anorexia and have been for almost four years. I'm still considered sick.

To the point.

For the past year I have been too afraid to get a haircut, since I fear that I'll get fat, which doesn't make any sense at all. I had to get a new bed this year which I postponed, since I was so scared to gain more than I should.

Am I alone with these thoughts? I feel so weird and stupid, but it's really hard to tell myself that it isn't true.

[BearsAnswers]

Sorry to hear that you are suffering like that. One light at the end of the tunnel is that you recognize that it is a problem. That is a very large step that a lot of people struggle to make. It is one of the most important steps.

On of the things about anorexia is that there are a few other disorders that are frequently comorbid with it.. that is, they co-occur with it. So anorexia itself is most likely not causing you to worry about getting a bed, but there could be (and by the sound of it, is) something else that is also affecting you. A lot of times having two things working in tandem like that can make each individual one worse than you would normally experience, which may be why you are still struggling even though you have identified the problem.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, seem to be the two most common comorbidities, followed by depression and anxiety. The fact that there are enough cases for them to understand that there is a very real link between these varied disorders definitely means you are not alone in your thoughts. Your precise manifestation may be unique to you and your circumstances, but what you are feeling would be considered normal in the sense that it would be normal to experience if you are suffering from a certain combination of disorders.

To me, it sounds like there is some OCD or OCPD present. That would probably be what would combine with anorexia in a way to produce those kinds of feelings. Ironically, cutting your hair would technically make you weigh less, but reality doesn't really matter when disorders of the mind take hold.

Don't feel weird, or stupid. Neither of those are true. Your brain is not doing what it should, but that's not your fault. And it is something that can be fixed. Blaming yourself, or thinking that you are stupid, would be like thinking you're stupid for having asthma, or weird for having an allergy. Your body is a very complex organism, and things go wrong.

Are you getting any kind of treatment or support?

Do you have friends that you can talk to, people that understand and can listen?

[Tescosfinestmilk]

I was just recently let out, since my doctors marked me as a "lost case" So I'd really say that I'm just trying to survive. Sadly no, most of my friends have a hard time to understand it, which I don't blame them for.

I usually go for the internet, since people are for more understanding and CAN understand.

[BearsAnswers]

Really? You don't sound like a list cause to me. Just like someone that has multiple layers of problems that need to be peeled back and dealt with one at a time, along with some strong personal support. Doctors saying that would probably make things feel even worse, that's probably set things back, not helped. Not all doctors are created equal, that's for sure 😞

That would be even harder if your friends don't understand. It could make you start to feel isolated - feel alone and different and that no one understands. That can be very difficult, psychologically.

You CAN be understood. You can be accepted. It just takes people with empathy.

[BearsAnswers]

Feel free to send me a message if you feel the need to just talk to someone. What you've described really can make a person feel alone. You're not. If you need to reach out, please do.

[CoolSky01]

weight doesn't happen fast... it takes months or years to put on some real heavy weight so you'd notice no need to stress on losing weight

[BabyGirl2798]

It's ok to have irrational paranoia when you're dealing with stuff, don't feel stupid. For the longest time I refused to speak to my therapist because I thought she was telling my mother everything even though I knew she couldn't due to confidentiality. You're not alone in any of this.

[tynamite]

Lots of women have anorexia.