But every so often, like the few cases where I get angry/pissed off. I feel like I'm not me or worse that this is me and the personality I described above is my cover. When I do get pissed off, everyone notices and listens. I remember when this girl pissed me off in class and it was one of those classes where nobody ever shuts up, it was silent in two seconds, my teacher of four years was gobsmacked.
What's brought all of this up is occasionally I feel oddly claustrophobic in my room and need out. I generally go 1-3 hours walk in the cold. Anyway this time it happened I started talking about myself in third person, like a proper nutter. Saying how I'm weak, and that I hold myself back too much and don't take as much risks. Or like I will stop you getting in a fight whereas she will join in and put that person in a hospital.
Quite frankly that's scary, but I don't really know what to do about it, or even if it's something I should put much thought into.
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