My brother isn't strong, I can literally beat him, is this an exception to the rule?

[Vesuvius87]

Off course I love my brother and wouldn't ever hurt him. After nearly a year in Judo, I can see the improvements. I'm still learning but I don't get easily bruised anymore and am faster.

I hate to admit it but my younger 20 year-old brother is an untrained, average man but weaker. He won't do any arm wrestling with me because he was embarrassed last time he lost. I'm 5'7 and 140 Ibs and he's 5'11 and about 10-15 heavier but he's really weak. Don't mean to boast but he's the type that even if he was trying, I'll just end up deflecting it and still beat him. Then if I get him on the ground, he won't be able to get back up.

So this is an exception to the rule isn't it?

Updates

1 y

I've tried to convince to join me in Judo but he's not in martial arts, doesn't like sports. He would get stronger in every possible way, not just physically but emotionally too. It would've been cool if he was training but he isn't.

[MCheetah]

You're medium size for a woman and your brother is physically tiny and weighs less than the average American woman. He just sounds like a weakling/wuss, to me. Yes, most men aren't as weak and pathetic as that. Why are you bragging about being able to overpower him though, instead of helping him man-up?

[Vesuvius87]

See the update. I was trying to get him involved in Judo. I gave him the chance to meet our Sensei and try one session. He just doesn't like martial arts nor sports.
I'm worried for him because he still doesn't have a job and he sleeps too much.

[MCheetah]

Well, I did martial arts for years, including MMA and kickboxing, and it never made me feel better or improved my personality or mental health. If anything, it made me more depressed. So it's not for everyone. (I did Judo too, and to be honest, I think Judo SUCKS! It's just tripping people. And Judo without Jiu-jitsu submissions as a companion art, is nearly pointless.) Maybe he's suffering from depression.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm sorry to hear martial arts did nothing to help you with your personal growth and mental state of mind. It did the opposite for me. When I first started with Judo, I was undergoing a terrible break-up (a love deception with a cruel narcissist) and it really helped me.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

What are your brother's interests?

What does he like to do physically?

I have a friend who was that way. I learned the things that he liked to do and exploited them to make it more interesting & more entertaining enough for him to keep doing them until they slowly became routine exercises that built physical strength & stamina plus increased his self confidence.

[Vesuvius87]

He just like acting and drama. He doesn't like doing sports, lifting weights, exercises, nothing that was to do with physical activities/force.

[Vesuvius87]

**likes

[Anonymous]

Perhaps if he won’t join a combat sport you could maybe convince him to lift weights at the gym and eat more? Once he gets stronger he’d probably also get a bit more mentally tough from the gym and probably be able to beat you in a clean wrestling/ a fight match even without training due to his greater strength

[Opinion Owner]

But I mean even if he gets stronger it sadly doesn’t mean he will be able to automatically take on your or every girl. My step bro is a skilled wrestler with abs who is taller and quite a bit stronger than me who is fit and lifts oftentimes I do krav and judo he also does some krav and judo as well as a novice and boxes some but despite that when we wrestle to spar with krav rules I can beat him fairly often with dirty tactics like low blows despite his experience and strength.

[Vesuvius87]

Strength can only help up to a certain point but skills in martial arts and speed are also advantages. I'm trying to convince to be more physically active. At the end of the day, it's choice in what he wants to do in life. All I can do is guide him and be a support for him but can't do much if he doesn't put his effort.

[Vesuvius87]

When my boyfriend (he's into both Aikido and Judo) and I sparred on the ground, there are a few times I've beaten him too. Off course it's harder when they train too.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I get it. I convinced my step bro to start lifting at a young age when we were the same age and he got into sports. He is much more attractive now and capable of defending me and himself and is way more athletic and stronger than me now. I think he’s more capable than me.

How did you beat him on the ground?

Was it also in a sort of casual no rules scenario where you could work the groin a bit? We sort of agreed to self defense sparring without as many rules. With those rules I can beat him quite often as it’s difficult for guys to defend that area while doing ground work and easier for me to get out of holds.

Yeah same I beat both my step bro and athletic ex doing ground work too occasionally but I don’t mind since they are stronger and win most of the time. With strict competition rules I’m especially doomed against them. They train too.

My Main strat is to open them up while doing ground work it’s pretty easy for them for me to strike where I need to in the senstive areas to get the win or make them tap

[Opinion Owner]

but I mean all guys even strong and athletic ones are overly sensitive and vunerable there by default and he can usually use his strength and skill to protect it. It would be way worse if he was weaker than me and unathletic and untrained bc then it would je way easier for me to exploit the sensitive areas if I wanted to. So even when I won using that it would be way worse if he was weak bc he’d be completely powerless to protect his weak points

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah exactly as you said strength can only help to a certain point that’s why I always sparred with my step bro and ex to try to build up their speed and defense so that some mean girl in the future would have a harder time exploiting them like that because his muscles and abs don’t help there if he gets hit in the sensitive area

[Vesuvius87]

As to how I beat him on the ground, well sometimes we're told to do groundwork. During ground sparring, he can use armlocks, chocking and control techniques. Then either one of us can't continue, we tap the mat.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah but do you win? Do also use groin pain and manipulation etc exploiting his sensitive area to win, get out of holds and make him tap? It seems like that’s the only way I can win and we agree to spar with less rules about that occasionally. Helps me with both ground and standing game. Ofc you can’t do that in a competition but it’s great practice for real life scenarios for both me and him. After all a guy is only as strong as his weakest point

[Opinion Owner]

*how do you win

[Vesuvius87]

The few times I won on ground sparring it was by an armlock (Juji Gatame) and a random variation of Sankaku Jime, which is a triangular chock with the legs.

[Vesuvius87]

No we don't do groin strikes.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah nice, If he’s willing you should get him to agree to a match with light or medium groin contact or striking once or twice. You will probably win. It’s amazing how much easier it becomes to beat a guy when thats allowed.

[Opinion Owner]

How is this going is he doing any new sports? Or gotten a bit stronger?

[Vesuvius87]

He hurt his left knee a bit and is currently resting from Judo.

[Karate_Guy]

That's awesome that you do krav and judo!

[snackthatsmilesback]

Exception to what rule? Normally, if you train more you're better at fighting. Seems in line with the rules to me.

[Vesuvius87]

True. It's sad that my brother isn't interest in any physical activities or sports. It would really help him. I tried to get him involved in my Judo classes. It would've been for his best. He tried one session but got out and isn't interest. Oh well... I can't do much but guide him.

[snackthatsmilesback]

Yeah that's fair. I tried getting my sister to the gym several times before, but she's just not interested.

[pascal_climbs]

Yu are not an exception. Judo is also a sport that trains arms, shoulders and back. Important for rm wrestling together with a good core.

If he does not like martial arts, he can join a gym

[Vesuvius87]

Judo actually helped me during the time I was undergoing a heartbreak after breaking up with my ex boyfriend. I think one of the reasons I haven't had a single argument with my current boyfriend must be because we do sparring work in Judo. It's good for releasing stress too.

[Karate_Guy]

I think it is great that you are concerned about him, and wanting him to improve himself and not get bullied, etc. All you can do is try, but if he isn't willing to do anything, then you can't really force him. I mean, I suppose you could playfully beat him up in front of his friends as a way to embarrass him and perhaps motivate him to start training, but you would have to be careful to keep it playful and not make it bullying.

[Agape93]

A bit but not too unusual. I'm the second tallest person in my family, and I'm physically stronger than most of them

[Vesuvius87]

If he would just train and do exercises, he would get stronger and it would built up his self-confidence and self-esteem. Sadly he's not into sports nor exercising.

[Agape93]

His loss. I find training and fighting to be enjoyable, a great way to release tension.

[Aserty00]

si è un'eccezione. qual è il livello di tuo fratello? Pensi che possa sollevare un manubrio da 20 libbre con un braccio 10-12 volte o è troppo?

[Vesuvius87]

Yes that would definitely be too much for him. He doesn't like doing sports, lifting nor any type of activities requiring too much physical force. He only likes acting.

[Aserty00]

Yes, if it can't lift such a load it's pretty weak. Being beaten by her sister in arm wrestling must have been humiliating. Didn't that convince him to go to the gym or do other sports?

[Vesuvius87]

If I were him, I would've definitely gotten involved in sports. He got harrassed by bullies during his school years for that and he had to rely on telling the teachers and getting my parents involved instead of taking out the bullies himself. He only got to enjoyed his last year of HS because of the pandemic; it was virtual classes that year.
Sadly all he's interested in is an acting career and nothing else. Neither me nor my parents can really insist in him getting involved in sports nor gym if he's not willing to put any interest nor dedication towards it.

[Aserty00]

Sin. It could follow an acting career and occasionally do some physical activity. Were you like him before judo too? Or were you already fairly strong?

[Sim890]

It seems to bother you that he is weak. If that's okay with him, that's no problem. In the gym I can't lift a lot of weight, you would probably arm wrestle me but I would accept it

[ser89]

non è una cosa frequente ma non è nemmeno così rara. Ad esempio, non credo di essere molto forte

[Vesuvius87]

Yes indeed it's not that rare. Sorry you hear that you think you're not very strong. Do you wish to become stronger?

[ser89]

I try... but I don't have good genetics

[Vesuvius87]

Then you can take actions by working out, doing exercises, going to the gym or even take martial arts classes.

[ser89]

I don't know... it is more difficult for those who are not very gifted... however are you sure that your brother is weak? maybe you are too strong 😉

[jjj101010]

It’s not very common. Do u fight him much

[Vesuvius87]

Ever since the last time I beat him at arm wrestling and he was embarrassed, I don't do it anymore. Though I did tried to get him to join Judo but he isn't interest. He only cares about an acting career but it would be also great if he work on himself physically too. It would increase his self-confidence and self-esteem.

[athelete_7]

👀exception.

[athelete_7]

there's no rule tho that women aren't strong. It depends on individual to individual. there's no such rule that men are only strong. Its a stereotype we say to ourself its not a rule. I take my exception comment back.

[Vesuvius87]

Sometimes I'm worried for him. I tried to help him once by getting him to join my Judo classes. He only tried that one session and already wanted to leave before classes ended. He's not interest in martial arts nor any sports. He won't even exercise.

[Vesuvius87]

I feel like he's underweight for his height.