Girls, How did you accept that you’re big/plus size?

[Anonymous]

Okay so growing up, I was one of the tallest kids and girl in the class. I was a head taller than the other kids even some kids older than me. Also teachers and adults always questioned about my age and how tall I am. My parents literally had to fight to let me in camps, happy meal and whatever. They HAD TO FIGHT. Anyways I was never a small or average size child. I was always bigger than other kids. I was chubby, then puberty hit and gained more weight and got fatter and now I’m just thick. I’ve tried diets, weight loss but it always failed. I’m a size 16/18W and I’m very curvy. I’m 5’10” 1/2 and weigh approximately 204lbs. I did lose 60 pounds a couple years ago (from 230 to 170). I still felt big even though I was slimmer. Society always said thin was ideal but for a while thicker and curvier girls were in when meat a lot to me. I’m just have to accept that I’ll never be petite, small, or thin. My boyfriend loves my curves and said I look better than most thin women or even petite skinny women. I do appreciate him for accepting me for who I am, I’m still not happy with being big. My family had to remind me so many times that I’m a tall girl and tall girls and women need to weigh more. They said don’t lose no more weight and I look good and most women wish they were curvier. Mom said, “Well we can’t all be the same size.” She was a bigger girl growing up too. She’s 5’7. My dad is 6’1.

Updates

1 y

I’ve always envied and been jealous of shorter and petite girls. Also envied tall women that were slimmer than me. Even with flat bellies. Why did I have to be so large?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Your insecurities stem from some place deep in your subconscious. Mantras and daily affirmations can help with your body image in the short term, getting into new patterns of correcting your thoughts so you’re not constantly telling yourself you’re ugly (remember: your first thought in any given situation is what you have been taught to think, it’s not necessarily what you truly think). Long term I would recommend shadow work if you can’t afford a therapist and try to find the source of these insecurities, it’s likely closer to home than you would suspect.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

You shouldn't worry about those things because in the end you found people who love and support you just how you are. I tend to forget that myself (I'm also 5'10 and carry some weight on me). I'd love to be short and petite but that's never gonna happen so I get why you'd want those things. I think just focusing on those who love you how you are will get you past those feelings of self doubt at some point.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess so. A lot of people don’t like it when I’m trying to lose weight and i always get reminded that I need to weigh myself and if I look thin I won’t look good and I look good thick. I hate my large frame. I have a friend that’s tall like me but she’s thin. I don’t think I’ll ever be thin like her.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

And that's ok if you aren't. As long as you are healthy and not eating junk food all the time, then your frame is perfectly fine.

As I said, I totally get the wanting to be thin. My boyfriend has the opposite problem. He's thin but wants to bulk up and get some muscle on his frame. So not everyone who is thin is happy with it. Maybe your friend is jealous of you being curvy. Never know.