Guys, why would you want to go to the gym? Is it always just to impress girls?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. He's kinda on the skinny side and he said he wants to start working out soon to get buff and cut. The thing is, I like him the way he is, and I'm not really too into bulky guys. So I know he's not doing it for me. The question is whether he is doing it for himself or if he wants to be more attractive to other girls. Guys, when you want to go to the gym and get bigger is it always to impress girls or can it sometimes just be for you?

[f0xxy]

Alright, I realize this question is for GUYS. And a lot of them are right.. My boyfriend works out a LOT, and I can tell you what I know and observe;

1. He is doing Rugby - and has to be in shape for his games. It's a brutal sport.

2. He feels better fit. Years ago he had more weight on, and as much as I tell him that I wouldn't mind lying on his tummy and that he'd be like my big cuddly bear if he slips and gains weight - he doesn't want this for himself.

3. As a side benefit when he was single, he said that being fit helped. Since we are together though, this has changed - he says he feels "fat" whenever he takes a break from working out. But in a sense, the two are sort of similar because it just shows that he feels better about working out - and just because your boyfriend is considering it, doesn't mean that he's out to score (especially since you two are happy! It's illogical for men to cheat when they are happy with their woman, so if this is what you are worried about - don't be. Ask any guy here if you are still concerned).

4. This is an observation I made. Whenever he isn't working out, he's WAY less happy. Endorphins are made when we work out, and they do keep one happy - he's going through a rough time, and Endorphins are a natural way for him to feel more happy.

I hope this helped. It just seems as though your boyfriend just wants to change his life for the better! You should be happy for him and encourage him to do it.

Or better yet, why don't you ask him about it yourself? It won't hurt. :)

[myspacemybroke]

I'd say both. I don't have good tone, and I'm overweight but I've got somewhat muscular arms and legs. I've been looking into some fitness programs and am going to start getting some commitment going and get into better shape. It would partially be for the sake of sexual attraction, but also for myself. In the sense that I want to be proud of my body, and also be in top shape. I like the thought of having a well disciplined body and bettering myself.

[Asker]

Yeah that makes sense, especially the last part. Thanks for answering.

[myspacemybroke]

Yep

[BlueBison]

the way I see it, there's two reasons.

1) to impress girls

2) to improve self confidence, and fitness.

Guys care about their bodies/looks as well. It doesn't need to be a girl that's the cause of him wanting to work out. I'm skinny and it's a insecurity of mine, I'm lifting/working out to build a new image for myself, building my self confidence.

[Asker]

Yeah, the problem is I don't know which reason he's going for lol. I'm thinking it's for his own confidence, but a part of me can't help but worry otherwise. Thanks for answering.

[BlueBison]

just let him know how you feel, and just ask him about why the sudden interest about working out :)

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Girl, if you're really jealous and can't find yourself trusting him, then I'm afraid you have other problems. If you really think this is so he can impress girls or find someone else, then why do you date a guy that you can't trust?

If this is really just about insecurity then I'll have to agree with BlueBison's last statement. Talk to him. Ask him what this is all about. Maybe even tell him about what's bothering you and see if you can't quell your insecurity, because this is important stuff.

[Asker]

It's not that I don't trust him exactly. He hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. It's just that my last boyfriend turned out to be a total jerk but he pretended to be a nice guy in the beginning. So I'm a little on the paranoid side right now. We still haven't been together all that long yet, so I'm just worried that something will go wrong. I know it's something I have to move past and I'm trying to. I just get caught up in a certain thought sometimes.

[martyfellow]

Girls aren't generally impressed with buff guys that much, but it does help. Mostly I go there to check out the girls, to tell you the truth. So many girls in tight or not many clothes, flexing, what more can you want? Why do guys look at picture s when there are gyms.

[NerdInDenial]

It's for both. Being ripped and muscular gets you a lot of attention, positive attention. Also, he may want to get in better shape to prove to other people that he is worthy to be with you. Personally, I don't go to the gym to impress girls. I just want to be healthier.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Good point. It could be an insecurity issue. It may be just so he can feel better about himself, or maybe to impress her a little more. It could be just so he can make himself feel worthy, or make other people just shut up about wondering what she sees in him. All possible. Lord knows I've been there.

[NerdInDenial]

It's crazy, but we're all in this epic competition with one another.

[cavmanier]

Reasons I workout:

-healthy

-most girls like muscle

-feel good

-daily tasks are easier

-helps my mood

[Marshall454]

+1 ^^

[cookie1993]

I workout for myself - to strive for the muscular body that I want to have and the healthy lifestyle that it brings.

If other people like that as well then that's great, if they don't then that doesn't bother me either. Hope this helps...

[RedThread78]

If I went to the gym it would be to impress myself.. not girls. I'd want to be healthy for ME! =D

[Asker]

I like that. I've noticed some of your answers before and you seem to have a similar mind set to my boyfriend, so that made me feel a little better. Thanks :)

[RedThread78]

sure thing! ;)

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Truth. I mean depending on the gym you may not be impressing anyone. Heck most of the people who go to the gyms that I've gone to are usually way to focused on their own thing to notice anyone else, or to spend it trying to impress anyone. If you're talking about outside the gym, I don't think it necessarily has anything to do with impressing people, as it could easily just be for the sake of wanting to feel fit and healthy. There is a certain chemical euphoria that can come from a good workout.

[RedThread78]

Definitely Toban... great job elaborating on what I said.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I just say it like I mean it, and call things as I see it. Either way she really needs to stop worrying, or confront the issue at hand. Obviously, without being confrontational. As in, not pushy, accusatory, or in his face. She either tries to forget about it and drop this insecurity about the gym, in which case she confronts her own fears, or she sits him down and talks to him about what's bothering her, and asks what this is really all about, and tries to understand where he's coming from.

[Asker]

No I actually think I get it now. One of the other answerers said something that clicked in my head. I think I get why he wants to do it now. And I'm okay with it :)