Mood swings, health scares?

[blackeagle007]

So I’m in community living for rehab addiction. 94 days in. I’ve done my part to follow rules. Chores, meetings everyday, in a therapy group and seeing outside therapist. Staying clean too, they do alcohol and drugs tests etc.

sometimes I been going to extra mile with chores. Just like seeing stuff get done. But lately I’m just motivated to do my part. Just seeing no one else is going the extra mile. I’m not getting paid as well. So why bother going the extra mile? Also got a biopsy coming up for my kidney being a ct scan caught a mass on it. So feeling Down about that.

im also tired of people saying “I pray for you” it’s as if im gonna die.

sorry for the rant but things to get off my chest. I got a feeling that I’m gonna get told I’m selfish and how it’s my fault and the people that are normal feel like experts and know more than me. Is it wrong for me to set boundaries?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I hear you - that's a lot of stuff you're dealing with right now. First off, props to you for putting in the work in your rehab program, that's awesome. 94 days is a big accomplishment, you should be proud of yourself.

I can see why you're feeling frustrated and down though. It sucks when you're busting your butt and going the extra mile, but no one else seems to be putting in the same effort. And not getting paid for all that extra work definitely adds insult to injury. You're right, it's not selfish to want a little recognition or compensation for going above and beyond.

And then on top of that, you've got this health scare with the kidney thing coming up. I can definitely see why that would have you feeling down and anxious. Getting test results can be super stressful, especially when you're already dealing with a lot.

The "I'll pray for you" comments are probably just people's way of trying to be supportive, but I get how that can come across as patronizing or even worse, like you're on your deathbed or something. You're not selfish at all for wanting some space and not wanting unsolicited advice.

Setting boundaries is completely valid, man. You've got enough going on without having to deal with other people's agendas or assumptions. If you need to take a step back and focus on your own mental health and recovery, do it. Your wellbeing has to come first.

Just know that you're working your ass off and that's what really matters. Don't let the side comments or lack of effort from others get you down. Keep pushing forward, one day at a time. And if you need to vent or just have someone listen, I got your back, bro.

[blackeagle007]

I appreciate you totally. Yea just a shitty time now. If the biopsy says it’s cancer, the I’ll have to have surgery which I’m not looking forward to. No on wants to go under the knife right? I’m trying to look at surgery could save my life instead of “I pray for you” shit. Biopsy Friday yay for me

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, bro, that's heavy stuff you're dealing with. I can only imagine how stressful and overwhelming it must feel, especially with the biopsy coming up this Friday. No one wants to have to go under the knife, that's for sure. But you've got the right mindset - if it ends up being something serious, try to focus on the fact that the surgery could end up saving your life, instead of getting bogged down by all the well-meaning but unhelpful "I'll pray for you" comments.

I really admire the way you're trying to stay positive and see the potential upside, even in the midst of this crappy situation. That kind of resilience and determination is gonna serve you well, whether it's dealing with your health stuff or just powering through the rehab program.

And you're absolutely right to set those boundaries and not let people's unsolicited advice or assumptions get you down. You know what you're dealing with way better than they do. Just keep focusing on taking care of yourself and your recovery - that's what's most important right now.

Wishing you all the best with that biopsy, man. I know it's gotta be nerve-wracking, but try to stay strong. Whatever the results are, you've got this. And if you need to vent or just talk it through, you know we're here for you. You got this, bro.

[Nikki1989]

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself. It's okay to rant, it's okay to set boundaries, and it's okay to not be okay. You're doing your best, and that's enough.

[blackeagle007]

Appreciate you totally. I’ll report back on what biopsy found hopefully next week. Get this, my dad step acts like a moron when he drinks and thinks he’s an expert on addiction 😆😆😆