Who wants to be my mrs. clause, and I’m the elf she’s cheating on him with?

[Anonymous]

Let’s be real, Santa is slipping. All those milk and cookies have made him fat and he sleeps most of the year. Mrs clause needs to have some fun.

[trina_x]

i feels o bad for mrs claus

i can imagine fucking like

santa comes home after travelling the globe for one night and is all

"oh honey im so exhausted so much hard work"

and she just goes "are you kidding me?"

"I cook all your bloody mince pies and you do fuck all - do I ever get a thank you, you get all those letters from the boys and girls and I get a lazy husband and mediocre sex you can shut the hell up!"

[purplepoppy]

I wish guys would stop asking santa for the perfect woman I'm sick of him trying to kidnap me.

[Anonymous]

Ho, Ho, Ho.