Do you want to get Married?

Question

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

My girlfriend and I have been together for 12 years, lived together for 10, and have three children together - ages 7, 6 and 4. The first two were unplanned pregnancies.

We have no desire to be married. We think what we have is natural and beautiful and would be diminished by a silly ceremony and an expensive ring.

For anyone for whom marriage is a religious sacrament, I have nothing but respect. However, as to the rest, marriage licenses are a dime a dozen. They had them out like candy.

Besides, anyone who need a permission slip from the state - the only "contract" that government, since no fault divorce, will NOT enforce - to make their relationship mean something probably has bigger problems with the relationship than they realize. It is a useless piece of paper that mostly gives the government standing to adjudicate property and visitation rights when a couple's eternal love is not eternal anymore.

What my girlfriend and I have is beautiful and frankly we are more devoted to each other than half of the married couples we know. Frankly, except in a religious context, at this point it is meaningless.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It switches between "I'm ready" "Eventually, but not yet," and "I don't know."

Most of the time, I feel ready, except I'm no where near having a girlfriend. I'm emotionally ready.

Seeing work as it is (finances), I'm probably a few years out from marriage. The "I don't know" comes from seeing a lot of crummy, unhappy relationships. IF they stick together, it's unhappy and both are mean to each other. The anecdotes about what happens to guys (or especially fathers) in divorce scares the crap out of me. And knowing how things have gone in past relationships, I have no idea how it would last even a year, let alone for the rest of our lives.

PeekABooItsMe · Accepted Answer

Yes i do. I don't see it as a "must do" because i don't need paper telling me that my Husband and I are loyal to eachother. But i love the idea of a wedding and the happiness that would be there. I'm certainly not ready for marriage yet as i'm only 20. I have a fair few years before marriage is on the plate.

Comawhite666 · Accepted Answer

I desperately want to and even though I haven't been with my boyfriend that long in the grand scheme of things, I know I am totally ready and want to be 100% committed and together.

loveisbeautiful · Accepted Answer

Yes, but just because I want to doesn't mean it will happen.

DanishSaint · Answer

Since I kinda alreasy have been married (past tense, sadly) and since I always said I only get married once, cause that is for life- sadly, I didn't get to make that final decision regarding that- then no; I was married, I failed - never again!

Unless, of course, its to Emma Watson!! :)

Chaz269 · Answer

Marriage is a sham. If you need a license from the government and meaningless jewelry that's neither rare nor valuable to symbolize your love and commitment, you're a mindless meat puppet of capitalism and if you do ever get married, the relationship is doomed.

Highlander01 · Answer

I voted "I don't know" but I'm actually leaning towards "no".

I believe that marriage must be the result of a very well-thought-out decision. A failed marriage can ruin not only the life of the couple, but also that of their children and families. I believe it's safer to live in a relationship without actual marriage.

Anonymous · Answer

I with the girls, I don’t believe the girls comments, yes, they do want to get married but they don’t “just want to get married” as it has to be right, it has to make sense, and feel right, according to them, but I don’t believe for a second that any “simply don’t want to get married or indifferent about it”

CT_CD · Answer

I'm already married.

Logorithim · Answer

I'm currently extricating myself from a marriage, so I don't really have any appetite for thinking about another one, much less actually doing it. I wish those considering it or about to take the plunge, all the best, though.

JimRSmith · Answer

Yes, and will (hopefully!) be taking concrete steps in that direction in about a week...

DizzyDesii · Answer

Yes :) my boyfriend and i have been together a year. I've always wanted to marry after like 2 years of knowing someone. So he and i think we may be marrying around mid-late next year :D 🙌

X1erra · Answer

A marriage requires full commitment to your mind, body, and soul. When I finally found the one, then I won't hesitate to marry to secure our love for each other and to gain our parents' full support towards our life goals. Bearing a child comes later. It's a commitment in itself, and I will take my time.

karahiri · Answer

maybe. i'm getting an insane amount of pressure to find someone from my dad. he's usually SO chill about things like this. blah.

vertigobird · Answer

I'm definitely not ready to get married.

But I keep something in my mind my grandmother once told me about marriage and getting children:
It desn't matter what you think now. If you meet the right girl/guy you will change your mind.

lovebug093 · Answer

Yes I want to marry in the future. When the time is right.

azzntittiz · Answer

If he's rich and handsome, I'd let him ruin my body since he can pay for it and give me cute kids.  If that's what you're asking.

BirdFly · Answer

Yeah, not because of having a wife but because I really want to be a dad for a little cute girl in the house. Little girls love me so much and I think I want that clean love everyday in my life. I always think I would be a great dad. But I don't know about being a good husband. I wish I could skip these years and go to the years I am married. Otherwise I feel like I won't be able to see a future.

terincvd · Answer

If it happens it happens, I don't have any desire to get married but I also don't not (shit, double negative) want to get married.

2opaz · Answer

im ready

Revolver_ · Answer

Yes, i'm ready.

kaskas19 · Answer

I'm not sure. I don't see myself getting married. If I do I'll probably be cheated on, or soemthing bad will happen and I'll end up alone.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Yes, I do want to get married. And, yes, I also said "I DO!" already!

MsLoli · Answer

It would be a nice experience, I think, but it isn't a requirement.

Scarlettblaze · Answer

Someday. But I'm nowhere near ready for it now and it's not something that I would do lightly.

steel1997 · Answer

Nah... I don't think I will find any true love in the present world... I can love someone like crazy but I expect it in return which the current girls can't... so I won't marry...

Noem22 · Answer

I would prefer to just find a person with which I will spend the rest of my life.. I don't care if we get married or not, have children or not.. Maybe it will happen maybe it will not.

emma_178 · Answer

Yes i do maybe soon actually as me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 years

Orangeblossom92 · Answer

Yes i want to i can’t wait till i meet the one , just thinking about it makes me excited !

Anonymous · Answer

Nope, I'm not making the mistake I've watch most other men in my life make, and then regret. Marriage is a very bad decision for men today. The risks and costs to men are higher then ever, and the benefits to men are lower than ever.

Until things change significantly, marriage is a great deal for women and a horrible deal for men.

skittles2017 · Answer

Being married has it's goods and downs... all together it should be good cuz you choose who you'll marry

angelgirl7 · Answer

I don't know. I'm not against getting married but it's also not super important to me. As long as I'm in a loving, committed relationship I don't care to much about the documentation.

britpop · Answer

I definitely wanna get married gotta snare someone decent into my crazy world first though

RationalMale · Answer

Given the current legal system, I feel like there's no point at all. It's like the worse bargain ever.

CaptainSmartass · Answer

Steady on, Love. At least by me dinner first... Seriously, though, I'm not really sure... Simples...

Anonymous · Answer

Not for me thank you. I am happy living with my boyfriend.

tampaxgirl · Answer

Only If I can get at least 50% of what he has in a divorce.

jacquesvol · Answer

We married in 1971 and I did regret it only when we had to pay the taxes.

TheChocolateWriter · Answer

I dunno, but I do know that if I want to have kids, I want to have them in a married home.

kitty71 · Answer

Never had been married before but No my goals for the rest of my life is not to get married

Matt57 · Answer

I'd love to, but I'm gonna wait til after college so that I won't quit school to raise a family.

sam_13456 · Answer

Yes I do but I don't know if my boyfriend does since its been 7 years since we been together

CheekyPaws · Answer

Already married... already getting a divorce too...

Coconut_Man · Answer

Yes I do... but bless the soul of the nutter who decides to marry me. Lol

FatherJack · Answer

Never again... no !! A mistake I made previously !!

SarahVanRensburg · Answer

I want to get married some day but it’s hard finding a guy who will actually be committed, faithful and so on.

ImagineSketchy · Answer

Marriage usually just turns into a burden. It also wouldn't be anything to improve my life so... no. I'll hard pass. Drop the ball there entirely. Just no.

llorando · Answer

Yes, but it would be illegal to marry my Orbison collection :(.

rockrewls · Answer

I was for almost 24 years, maybe again one day we'll see. Sadly she passed.

Cosytoasty · Answer

Too late to change my mind now! haha

chrisv · Answer

Yeah - I actually LIKE being married! I’ve burned my way through two already tho.. lol

bubbles328 · Answer

Where's the "I was married but would rather drink acid than do it again" option?

weaponsdude · Answer

You won't be getting me trapped in any bullshit ever again. It would take the perfect woman. Since they are just made up fairytale lies, it won't be happening again.

melanieeeB · Answer

Not really, I do want the dress tho but marriage.. maybe I will change my mind with the right person or so, who knows

JamesDylan1990 · Answer

I love my girlfriend but we are too broke àt the moment

mrsterlingarcher · Answer

Maybe. I'm 18. And also, recovering from a chain of shitty and/or failed relationships

jtkirkfan2002 · Answer

I've met someone wonderful, but it was just a month ago. I hope it leads to our eventual marriage because she is the answer to my prayers.

Fallahad · Answer

Marriage was never my thing. So, no :) I rather be free and travel and explore the world.

ittybittyninjapanda · Answer

I want to eventually. I'm still young so I have time. Plus I'm waiting on the right person.

Kyhkhbkeb · Answer

yes i want to... but i dont know whether he wants or not...

miia389 · Answer

Eventually but right now. I don't want that level of commitment

Reyna00 · Answer

For sure! When it’s with the right guy at the right time

112dhananjay · Answer

Yes... But on the proper period of time.. Neither too soon nor too late... 👍

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