especially for those who are not married yet, please kindly tell me. (and make sure it's something possible for you to say that people you want is exist in this world. lol) thankyou☺️
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+1 y
hi all, i'm so glad you guys want to share your views on your desired partner/or future husband/wife.
Updates
+1 y
but again, keep in mind, this is just a question, not that everyone who answers really needs such a person, including me. am i asking this bcs i'm deliberately looking for the right person for me? honestly no, i'm just curious and want to see the views of many people. we don't know what will happen in the future, we may get something different from what we want. its a mystery.
That's quite a question, but an interesting one. Thanks for asking!
I don't really care all that much about looks. I don't like tattoos and I don't like obesity, but other than that all that really matters there is that she's hygienic and healthy (and I do mean that.) Taking care of your body is important.
The bulk of my attraction is going to come from my wife's personality. There are plenty of things about a girl's personality that I find attractive and it really varies from person to person. Everyone has their own idiosyncrasies, and often-times it is only as you get to know a person (or start to fall for them) that they start to become endearing!
But having said that, there are some standard personality traits that I really like in a wife someday, so I've made this list. Of course no one is perfect and I don't expect them to be, but the more of these traits the better.
Friendliness
I mean this in two senses.
First, it would mean the world if she were my close friend before we were dating, so we would have a very concrete bond beforehand. Strong friendships that don't require anything more, if one chooses, lead to the best strong, self-sufficient romantic relationships in my opinion.
Second, it would be fantastic if she were an overall nice and friendly person to people. You know, swearing at a minimum, always treating people with decency and kindness, and just all the things that one thinks of when they think of friendliness. It doesn't have to be over the top, but just there.
Intelligence
I also mean this in two senses.
First, I think it would be fantastic if at school she was a student that worked hard and was pretty smart. From experience, intelligence creates deeper personalities, higher standards of humor and else, and if they don't overload themselves, a happier and cooler human being.
Second, I think it would be fantastic if she was cautious. –if she thought before she did things and didn't act recklessly. In other words, self-control is great. It also shows the guy, if she is interested in a relationship with a guy, that she has thought before the decision to be with him and hence is more meaningful. (That one minute possible reason for this being a good thing; there are plenty more.)
Equality
I would want this girl to believe that she is my equal in every way. What I mean by that is this: Some people believe in gender roles like that men are supposed to be strong, always take care of the needs of his woman, always pay the bill, be the one in charge, and watch over their woman; while women are supposed to be over-emotional, over-romantic, needy, being catered to, and pay back their man sexually. I hate this so much.
Ideally, I'd have it be that the girl and the boy are complete equals (as previously stated.) If the man wants to treat the woman, he might pay for one thing. If the woman wants to treat the man, she might pay for another. If someone is feeling kind one day, s/he might get the door, etc.
But overall there would be nothing that one person has to do for the other because of their gender. What happens should happen because of affection, care, or love, and nothing else.
I'm going to continue in the comments since I've met the word limit. I always like getting responses, so if you have any questions or comments, feel free to say something!
I would want the girl to be confident. Both she and I should be able to start conversations without becoming a nervous wreck and we should trust each other enough to not live in fear of judgement all the time. Friendship would help with that. But as a general rule, people are more inclined to spend time with people who demonstrate that they want to spend time with them. That's not to say she can't have a bad day once in a while; being there for your partner is an important thing. But she should be able to stand on her own two legs in general.
But to be clear, an attractive girl is confident in the sense that they don't feel limited and are able to stand on their own when they need to, but not to the extent that they are never able to let their guard down and be vulnerable with their partner or are so 'confident' that they don't listen to others and do whatever they want just because they can despite their peers' or their partner's protest (unless there's an actual reason.) In other words, they shouldn't let 'confidence' become arrogance and they should still be able to have a sensitive side; that's what makes people human. And in the relationship, vulnerability is just as important and confidence. I think if there's a solid foundation of trust, some vulnerability among partners goes a long way and can really solidify a bond.
I'd want her not to want to wear clothes that reveal to much, speak too sexually, or act too sexually. I understand that's too much to ask for some people, but it's a bit thing to people like me. Sexual stuff can wait until a few years of a relationship have passed in my book at least.
And today's society leads to people spending a lot of time analyzing their appearance and trying to look attractive, which often gets mixed up with being as promiscuous as possible. People seem to associate beauty with the amount of cleavage shown sometimes, rather than an art in itself. I hate that, and while I know and like quite a few people who show more skin than I'd like ideally, I would strongly prefer that they didn't. I don't think it does much good except to attract people sexually, and I don't think that leads to much but attracting the kinds of people a lot of girls want to avoid anyway. Plus, it's also a peer pressure thing.
:D Thanks! To be honest, I was just lonely a lot growing up and spent a lot of time thinking about it. I mean, my favorite books are Percy Jackson (for Percy/Annabeth) and Spider-Man (for Peter Parker/Mary Jane), precisely because those deep bonds are so attracted to me. And sex has always seemed cheap by comparison. Wholesomeness, devotion, and affection are far more valuable commodities, no?
Having said that, I still don't know how to actually talk to a girl for romantic purposes, so it's all kind of moot, you know?
Quite frankly the question is a little frightening , then answer " but make sure it achievable " hahahaha , let me answer it in a vastly different way , dont set any " ideals " for anyone , as to try and create this fantasy individual , is simply creating certain failure. Once youve been living with anyone for a while there will be a number of things they do that really #pissyouoff thats a fact , there is no golden euphorbia that somehow exists , that this person is for you. Its a partnership that is easier , as expectation has to be thrown out the window , the entire concept is flawed and the bottom line ( sadly ) is that 50 % of you , not yet married will be divorced , again thats a fact , the successful ones now , will sadly FAIL later , just had another sad confirmation from a friend today , his utter life partner - GONE , with the two kids. Hence , anyone , male or female considering this course of action called marriage , go into it ready for a lot of pain and torture , for there is no " walking into the sunset " , be pragmatic , sensible , and for gods sake MAKE SURE THEY ARE RICH , never marry down in economic status - NEVER , always push up. None , or the other Bs matters and be emotionally ready for divorce in 10/20/30 or even 40 years ! Better still buy a good stock Buffet style and love it , it will cost you less , and not give you brief. Do not fantasise that marriage is a magical commitment that will make everything better , its not , its super difficult.
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Asker
+1 y
yup, i like your realistic answer, thank you and applause for you👏
(i mean, i've always thought that marriage is not just consensual, even though living in wealth doesn't guarantee me can have a harmonious relationship, it requires commitment and being able to maintain communication. and marriage is sacred to me, so it can't be underestimated or toyed with. i often note to self: if you want to be safe with no marriage, just stay in one house. if you don't wanna have children, you can postpone it. if you still want to play around, just have a relationship. if you're not ready at all, let's stay single. lol)
I concur , and for the estimated 20 % that make it work , great , not an issue.. ( Dont forget just because they are not divorced , that doesn't mean it working ) But , poor -- you are just stuck , while he shoots off and finds himself someone else near by for satisfaction. So with 50% plus - Divorce , and a further 30 ( just tolerating , or even hating ) the odds are NOT good , be careful.
Compatible- fun (I'm always ready to have some fun & be little mischievous haha), funny (I joke all the time, so shared humor is a must!), passionate- I am fiery and super passionate about life, loyal, I can be bratty and like a child at times so he needs to be patient lol by the way I have my shit together so it's not like I'm immature🤪, open to knew things even learning new things - I'm always learning new things besides I have 101 hobbies I get bored easily, he needs to have high emotional intelligence 😏 I love intellectual stimulating conversations (high IQ & EQ to match😍), adventurous, high sexdrive, loves cuddles and to be suffocated with love but enjoys freedom too like space at times to do our own things. Ambitious - 😁 , friendly, caring, kind, generous - I am all the above and more. We don't have to like the same things I am open to learning new things. A man that can teach me a lot. Fuck that's hot as hell!
I am a programmer , technician , i loved science and I am into art as well. I am not just good with computers, I rebuilt car engines, and fixed up houses... I did plumbing as well.. I liked philosophy and i did some poetry , sex is important to me as well.. but Im a one women man.. it has to be someone I am totally into and the chemistry has to be there as well as love.. or love can come..
I want a man who is himself, whoever he is. I want to love a man for who he is, because I think people should be who they are, and not try to be someone else for anybody. If he's serious and military, let him be. If he's funny let him be also. whoever he is. we must be loved for who we are, not for trying to be someone else.
whoever we are, we always have great gifts to share with the ones we love.
I love a man who is:
extremely romantic wise with words a gentleman always polite humble and sweet hardworking military very masculine extremely patient with me mature and responsible
Ideal , vs settle for , vs happy with. my ideal standards are not gonna be said.. but someone I would be happy with, is someone that is kind of smart, but not too bright and not average. they have to have a pretty face, they can't be heavier than I am, at least , before children. its highly unlikely , but they shouldn't be taller than 5'10 , Men have height standards too , and if they are kinda tall , this is gonna get sexual.. but they gotta have big or kinda.. big.. both things that men like.., okay I'm being bashful. boobs and butt. Wow , josh you said everything superficial.. but that opens the door. I like women who wouldn't mind being at the house. I know for a real fact, that every women is gonna shit test.. but i Have an answer.. i will not talk. i will do my hobby, if i cannot do my hobby.. I will go to sleep. if i cannot go to sleep. i will sit and stare at them until they finally talk to me like an adult. its a none answer, but i got nothing , she don't have to be funny , but she has to laugh. honestly if she makes me feel warm inside.. my standards don't matter all that much.. comforting. she's got to be comforting. And whether its 50% of women , , 20% of women, 10% of women or even just 2% of women that will happily be comforting.. that is the one i want to put a ring on her finger, given that she weighs less than me in the beginning and my body will let me have chemistry with her. sorry my mom was an alpha , my dad was an alpha, my genes are tough as nails.. its hard for me to love.
When it comes to physique (the first thing I look at but ultimately not as important as who she is on a personal, mental, or emotional level) I like girls who are particularly short. I like girls who are physically delicate and skinny with small frames. I like small breasts and a small, cute rear end. I like girls who are particularly feminine (both physically and mentally). Blue eyes are preferred. I love long, brown, slightly wavy hair (a bit past her mid-back) and especially so if it's in a ponytail, and love a girl whose collar bones and ribs are slightly defined/visible. But I also like girls who are just soft in general (like physically)?
When it comes to who she is as a person, I like girls who are really happy, upbeat, optimistic, bubbly, gentle, sweet, kind, caring, benevolent, dependent, clingy, helpless, fairly innocent (but not for too long, lol, or at least just seemingly), warm-hearted, and emotionally delicate (this is super attractive and cute). I think it's extremely cute when girls blush or get flushed. I think psychological neoteny is super sweet, cute, and endearing. I like good girls. I like girls who do cute things like lean over and kiss you on the cheek. I like girls who are a little quirky. I also like to make a lot of physical contact like holding hands and cuddling so that is fairly important. I also really enjoy a girl that I can just be open and honest with. I want the type of girl that I can just feel like I can be myself around and feel relaxed around.
Personality-wise, my ideal wife would be courageous, dominant and a leader, and willing to fight and even kill if needed. Basically, her personality traits would be traditionally masculine or tomboyish.
Physically, she has SOME level of physical strength. She's either athletic or muscular, or she's stocky (Imagine Asuka or Ember Moon from WWE): Thick, well-padded body that's got a bit of muscle power underneath that soft fat. As long as she's not weak. It's not a requirement, but it's also pretty attractive if she's tall (5'8 to 6'4).
Interest-wise, it'd be cool if she was into horror movies, hunting, FPSes like Call of Duty, or Airsoft. I was kinda into it in my early teens. What'd be especially attractive was if she was interested in weaponry (Guns, knives, swords, bows and arrows, crossbows, spears, etc.) or even SKILLED with them.
@lilaccc Essentially, my ideal wife is strong and capable, and has some masculine traits. Basically a sporty tomboy or a warrior woman. How realistic is that?
She doesn't need to have all of these traits at once, by the way. But the most important ones are that she's dominant, physically strong, and willing to fight or kill.
Is good at drawing, composing music, writing, and otherwise being creative, and thinks cosplay is cool.
Likes watching anime/cartoons, sci-fi and fantasy movies, and nature documentaries.
Doesn't smoke, drink, or do any other drugs.
Is an atheist, has no infections, and is cute, kind, bubbly, silly when having fun, but logical when needed, smarter than average, monogamous but very affectionate and horny, and 100% biologically female.
Must like cats, bugs, snakes, dinosaurs, dragons, aliens, robots, and other cool stuffs.
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Asker
+1 y
that's interesting.. thank you for the sharing, handsome dino. hope you find the right one soon🙏
Well, women aren't attracted to men who look like me. But *hypothetically* if my unicorn was out there, this is what my dream wife would be.
PERSONALITY: 1. Kind/positive 2. Loyal/faithful 3. Classy/ladylike 4. Accepting/nonjudgmental 5. Open-minded 6. Intelligent 7. Strong sense of humor 8. Strong work ethic 9. Patient; not easily offended or bothered 10. Respectful 11. Artistic 12. Politically moderate (not too liberal or conservative) 13. Strictly heterosexual and monogamous 14. (Optional) Nerdy; into video games or superheroes
PHYSICAL: 15. Tall: 5'10" to 6'5" 16. Curvaceous; big boobs, big booty, thick thighs, etc. 17. Feminine style 18. Great smile and good teeth 19. (Optional) Redhead (or strawberry blonde, or blonde) 20. (Optional) Young: Between 20 and 34 (23 to 30 is ideal)
@t-8900 Yes, they would still be an option to me. But generally, short girls are the least attracted to me, because they want tall men the most (6'1" and up), and I'm less attracted to them, because I hate being part of a "short couple," like I'm settling for the best I could ever hope for and we're just two people too afraid to be alone, rather than an actual compatible match or anything.
But assuming none of that applied and she was otherwise my dream girl but like, 5'6" or below, then yes, height wouldn't matter anymore. It just seems even less likely to happen than the other girls out there.
And yes, I've had crushes on petite girls before purely do their personalities. One crush was a co-worker of mine. 5'2", curly black hair, maybe 110 lb. half Italian-American, half Puerto Rican girl named Denise. I even based one of my characters off of her.
But again, short/petite girls are usually the least attracted to/compatible to me.
@mcheetah man i still have faith you can pull off those girls. You need to stop beating yourself up so much about it. My one friend was 5'4 and he landed a girl that was 5'7. They've been together for a good number of years now, happily married. Plus I assume you dress the way your avatar portrays? I think you have more options than you think. Was it just some b*tch (s) that were evil to you? I know for me I had one that was BRUTAL. The humiliation she put me through has affected me for years, still does. But she humiliated me in front of 300 peers and was loud about it and berated me for DARING to ask her out... yeah that one messes with me so badly. That b*tch is the cause for me to have many nightmares to this day. And I dont normally ever refer to a woman with that word unless she was like a child predator or abused an elderly disabled person, or dog, etc. but once in a while I'll make an exception.
Sorry you had a bad ex. But at least on the bright side, you being 6'3" and white would guarantee you a woman in the part of the US I lived. Like, 99.99% guarantee. If you're under six feet, though? You'd be better be rich or have Kanye/Trump level overconfidence. Because if you don't, your chances are literally zero percent.
Though I suspect women are like that all over the world and that isn't just a Northeast thing. But yeah, sorry you had the Ex from Hell.
You can say that I like this or that... But the primarily factor is who are you in reality. For example, you can say I want that guy because he is faithful and it is your right too but be honest to yourself, if someone is liar, does he or she deserve to be a faithful person when she or he himself cannot be faithful in return. Fairness has to be both ways. If you want something, be that thing first. If you want a good guy, then become a good girl first vice versa.
Extremely nurturing and affectionate and open minded. She needs to be all those things or long term we're going to have problems. She can't be too strict and she can't be bossy and raise her voice all the time. I want her to be feminine, gentle, and sweet. I want her to be a cuddler and love holding hands and being close to me most of the time. She needs to be humble and quiet. Not in the way some think. I want my wife's opinion on things, I want her to chime in. But I mean she knows how to use her indoor voice is what I'm saying. Loud noises outside of planned times like when you want to listen to music or when you're in bed together are obnoxious to me.
This: 18 to 30 (over 30 equals no interest), hasn't done any hook ups or ONS, doesn't do any drugs (no weed either), doesn't drink alcohol or drinks very rarely and is willing to quit, doesn't smoke, no kids from past relationships, but does want some with the right person, no contact with any ex, once in a relationship won't be posting revealing and flirty pictures online for attention, will be very affectionate with me and she initiates the affection sometimes too, doesn't have an immoral job or one that requires her to spend multiple days away from home (traveling), no tattoos or very few (each tattoo makes her less attractive to me), will exercise every week just like I will to stay healthy and in shape for long term, is not hypocritical.
I'd love someone who isn't afraid to be different as in he doesn't constantly compare himself to his guy friends (their wealth, girlfriends, anything really). I need a man who supports me, knows when I need a shoulder to lean on and holds me when I need it, isn't afraid to kiss me in public and more.
Physically I like men who take care of themselves but don't over do it.
I want a husband who will always love me and be obsessed with me forever and will shower me with affection and understand all my unsaid words and cannot see a tear in my eyes.
I want an understanding husband who is not controlling and cares about my happiness and is open minded but still traditional to an extent. For instance, I would never marry a man who is into threesomes. I want someone who respects monogamy and believes in true love.
Kind, absolutely hilarious, generous, not materialistic, fun/adventurous, quirky/unique, a bit of bad boy vibe but actually is a true sweetheart, good listener, a gentleman, hot, doesn’t care what others think of him, polite... basically someone like Harry Styles 😆
Marriage is the leading cause for divorce. Have you ever met a divorced person wasn't married first? Open your eyes it has to be some connection there. Don't get married. All joking aside the governments of the world especially the United States have turned marriage into a government contract but you have to pay them so you can get married by paying a tax / marriage license license. Then if things don't work out you have to pay the government to break that contract/ getting a divorce. Even non-contested you pay the government tax. If two people really love each other and want to be together if they should stay together not because they signed a government contract but because they love each other. How many people do you know let's stay together only because they're trapped by the government contract called marriage and can't afford a divorce?
Someone who's kindhearted, funny (I love you laugh), sweet, romantic, loves kids, educated, has a good job, can cook (this girl loves to eat lol), hygienic, has a healthy sex drive, and protective. I think my standards are high cause that's all I want in a future spouse, what I listed.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I want him to be perfect for me and me, perfect for him. I want the type of husband who sees the world in a different way but the same way as I. I want our love languages to be the same, time. I want him to be adventurous yet serious. Opinionated yet logical. Caring yet stern. Honest. Understanding and caring. Really romantic. Puts our children first. Is always looking for better ways to be a better man, husband and father. A family man. Strong yet cuddly. Someone who believes that love never dies and works towards ensuring we are each others forever.
I want her to be the perfect girl for me and vice versa. I want her to be playful, very romantic, affectionate, courteous, motherly, present with me when we're together and not on her phone, looking toward the best of life and growth. I want us to spend quality time together but also for her to tell me I am beautiful and express good things toward me, as I do toward her. I want her to be non-judgemental with others and instead observe and be courteous/caring (most of the time). Down to earth and open. Someone who understand experiences and growth are more important than things. Someone who never out grows the attitude of gratitude even when in the mist of wealth and prosperity continuously. I would want her to believe in God as I do through logic or even through just faith alone but I wouldn't want her to be religious. I want to wake up everyday and feel gratitude for our relationship; put forth my new best effort everyday to give her the best husband, which requires continuous growth. I would want her to be the same about giving me the best wife. I want to love my daughters with all my heart.(unborn daughters) Someone I can create a definite definition for our marriage with so it is fully ours. Someone I can lay forth a plan, by which to capture that definition in tangible expression, for our marriage with. I wrote many poems about her:
She makes me appreciate even the worst days All I do is look at her and I’m free from the maze No more suppressed feelings of fear and doubt A smile she always seems to bring about If everything is neither created nor destroyed I’ve always loved you All you gotta do is, come through that door and I know this is true My love for you was never created nor destroyed Even on days, there seemed to be a void I just close my eyes and think of you And I push out all the feelings of blue Until there is only you Only you Only you
I read your list or description and I felt compelled to share mine. Maybe I shouldn't have but I felt yours reminded me a lot of mine.
I want a best friend who also sometimes makes me nervous and gives me butterflies. I want someone I feel ok to be myself around, but also have the biggest crush on at the same time. I want someone who can laugh with me for hours because we have the exact same sense of humour. I want someone who’s attractive, but will still look good to me when we’re old and wrinkly because his personality is even better than his looks.
Understanding, honest, trustable, trusts me, kind, sensitive towards others feelings, who loves me enough to let me go, doesn't takes misunderstandings too far and comments me honestly.
Pearls in my hair, him to take me out by the water and ask me then I will cry and hug him, I want us to be on a duck boat when he asks me and then for the type of guy I want is someone who gets me and doesn't ever want to see me cry or hurt someone who is supportive and strong I want him to be strong and lovely and loving.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Half of marriages end in divorce and the vast majority of those divorces are filed by women (Google it if you don't believe me). And in divorce men typically lose in court, both financially and in terms of child custody). Why in the world would I, as a man, choose to subject myself to that?
Marriage rates are at record lows today, which should come as no surprise considering the facts laid out above. And until marriage becomes more friendly to men again (i. e., laws change to be more fair for men, and women stop selfishly taking every opportunity to screw men in divorce), marriage rates will continue to plummet. Unless women change, marriage will be a thing of the past in another generation or two.
