What age do you plan to marry and have kids?

[Anonymous]

<25

25 - 30

30 - 35

35 <

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I don’t have a set age or exact timeframe, it just depends on situations. But, I would like to get married before ~25, and have my first kid before ~30.


I’m strict about “kids before 30” because I don’t want to be an old parent. I have my reasonings. My adoptive parents are old. My adoptive parents are 60 and 68, and they are healthy but I still have so much of my life to live and I worry that I won’t have them in my biggest milestones of my life. I don’t want my kids to go through that.


I know that death is inevitable and so is bad health, but if I have kids younger, in my mid to late 20s, I would be able to keep up with them and be able to be active and present in their life and activities. As a child, my parents were very present in my life, but never participated in active things like sports. I would love to do that with my kids.

[EmmaMary]

@WhatTheHeckkkk

These are my own sentiments and wants as well. x

[libsaretards]

Whenever God tells me to.

When I joined the military at 19, I had it in my head that I would finish my term at age 24 (5-year contract). While in the military I would finish a Bachelor's degree, have a decent savings and good credit, get out and buy a house by age 25. I would find a woman then and marry her around 28-30. We would enjoy our first few years of marriage and maybe have our first child around 34-35.

NONE of that happened. I only served 3 years due to my temper. My credit went to ruin and I went through bankruptcy. I am 28 (29 in May) and still picking my life up.

However, I gained waaaaaaaaaaay more than what my vision at 19 was. I found Jesus and my faith and trust in him has built. I have found a passion in pursuing a law enforcement career. I am focused on rebuilding my credit and getting my career started and letting GOD decide when a woman is meant to be in my life.

[Anonymous]

When I was 16, I was hoping to be established by 25, and working towards that goal. If not married, seriously dating/engaged. I seriously overestimated that.

By 20, I was hoping to be established by 30 - same thing.

I hit 40, and now it's getting ridiculous. I'm going to have to start seriously working out just to have kids so I can keep up. I'm on the side of "older parent" even if I got married in a week, and right away started having kids (which I am no where near being able to do that). I am hoping to hit 45 and be successful enough to marry and have kids, but in all likelihood, that's not going to be an option.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Ideally in the next 5 years, I would already be married to my boyfriend he proposed me last year but then we got in a very tricky long distance situation, where I can’t go to his country and he can’t come to mine.

My mom had me at 21 and my dad was 25, what I learned from their experience is that 20-25 is too young for having a child. We are more mentally prepared after 25.

My cousin got married at 23 and had a child at 24. She’s been depressed ever since, even though she has a great husband. Probably it depends on people individually but that’s the experience of my friends and family.

[Apple1996]

Married at 19. Got pregnant the first time when I was 17. Happy that I started young. Will be able to live my 30s and 40s happily without worrying about raising babies

[888theGreat]

some kids never leave

[Apple1996]

@888theGreat thats fine if they stay at my house. Just gotta be able to watch themselves and I'll be happy.

[JohnK123]

17 is young

[Apple1996]

@JohnK123 yeah I was young but happy that I started then

[JohnK123]

Cool

[Kaamraj]

Men should use their advantage of being able to father children even after few hours of death to the fullest and enjoy life, settling down only later in life, say 50+. Women have their fun and then settle down, so why should not men?

[shaysh87]

because mens sperm quality decreases with age, just like women. and how are you going to have the stamina to raise your child if you're a grandpa in your 60-70s?

[Kaamraj]

@shaysh87 - Sperm count and motility decreases with age, but there is no bologically significant point as there is for women, Menopouse, secondly men do not have to bear children which women have to bear. Ejecting a healthy egg and having it fertilized is only 1% of the deal as the fetus still has to be gestated for nine months. Men do not have that complication.

Secondly you mentioned that if you father later then you might not be around to look after your children, yes that is correct. But you will leave behind the wealth and status which allows them to get an early advantage in life. and I am not saying to father children in your 70s, but 50s is still good because you can still be around when your children reach adulthood.

[shaysh87]

[Secondly you mentioned that if you father later then you might not be around to look after your children, yes that is correct. But you will leave behind the wealth and status which allows them to get an early advantage in life. and I am not saying to father children in your 70s, but 50s is still good because you can still be around when your children reach adulthood.]

you're clearly dreaming in the clouds because vast majority of fathers in this country hit late 50s want to retire but still have to pull out loans for their children to attend college. Vast majority of men in this country live paycheck to paycheck and cannot even survive covid without free handouts from the government. Just because a man is old, it doesn't mean he has a lot of money.

[shaysh87]

Sperm Quality Declines Significantly After Age 50

www.healthline.com/.../sperm-fertility-declines-significantly-after-age-50

[shaysh87]

Men's sperm quality decreases at age 35

www.newscientist.com/.../

[shaysh87]

The study found that men 45 and older can experience decreased fertility and put their partners at risk for increased pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and preterm birth. Infants born to older fathers were found to be at higher risk of premature birth, late still birth, low Apgar scores, low birth weight, higher incidence of newborn seizures and birth defects such as congenital heart disease and cleft palate. As they matured, these children were found to have an increased likelihood of childhood cancers, psychiatric and cognitive disorders, and autism.

www.sciencedaily.com/.../190513081409.htm

[shaysh87]

The findings suggest that men between the ages of 45 and 49 are twice as likely than those under age 25 to have children with the devastating mental illness. Men aged 50 or older, furthermore, appear to be at three times that risk

www.cuimc.columbia.edu/.../older-fathers-more-likely-have-children-schizophrenia

[shaysh87]

In a meta-analysis published online in November 2010 Christina Hultman, an epidemiologist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, found that men between the ages of 40 and 49 were 1.4 times more likely to have children with a diagnosis of autism than 15- to 29-year-old men—the reference group for this study. And the risk of autism increased dramatically with the father's age: Between the 50 and 54, men were 2.2 times more likely to have children with a diagnosis of autism compared with the reference group; for men aged 55 and above, comparative risk was 4.4 times greater than the control.

www.scientificamerican.com/.../

[shaysh87]

Data from more than 40 million births showed that babies born to fathers of an “advanced paternal age,” which roughly equates to older than 35, were at a higher risk for adverse birth outcomes, such as low birth weight, seizures and need for ventilation immediately after birth.

med.stanford.edu/.../...increased-birth-risks.html

[shaysh87]

Personally, I don't think its worth the risk having a child with a man with old incompetent low quality sperm. I wouldn't subject my own child to that kinda treatment. No man over 40 would be the father of my child.

[shaysh87]

and you're acting as if men should all have kids until they are in their 50s.
I'll give you a wake up call:

Its not up to you to decide men should give birth until their 50s. Its up to the decision of women of child bearing age to make that decision, not you. You can't force women to have kids with men in their 50s. As far as I know of , vast majority of men already have kids prior to the age of 40.

[Kaamraj]

@shaysh87 - In the same study that you have provided, it clearly mentions that men, unlike women enjoy nearly lifelong fertility. In the below mentionedl link.

www.britishfertilitysociety.org.uk/.../

it's clear that females experience a drastic fall in fertility after the age of 30-32, whereas men experience a marginal fall even to twice that age.

The premise of the argument was fertility and the ability to have children later on in life and leverage of the fact. Why should it always be about the child and not about the man himself?- If it's his chance to have some fun, then he should be able to. But since you want to mention increased chances of certain mental illnesses, let us also consider how rare these mental illnesses are actually seen, and will that be offset by the father providing additional resources to the offspring.

Lastly, you are right that reproductive decision is not solely upto the male, well it isn't unilaterally upto the female either. Espicially in non western societies where the vast majority of the world lives it's a joint decition tkaen by not only the man, but the woman and their respective families. Marriages are fixed based on the woman's youth, beauty and fertility and the man's earning potential and respurce provisioning. Not saying it's right, but just telling you how the majority of the world operates.

[shaysh87]

[The premise of the argument was fertility and the ability to have children later on in life and leverage of the fact. Why should it always be about the child and not about the man himself?- If it's his chance to have some fun, then he should be able to. But since you want to mention increased chances of certain mental illnesses, let us also consider how rare these mental illnesses are actually seen, and will that be offset by the father providing additional resources to the offspring.]

Because babies birthed my older men tend to be weaker , less sturdy , less resilient , have more health issues , at higher risk of emotional / mental health issues even if they aren’t born with birth defects or autism or Down syndrome.

Studies have found that a man in his mid 40s risk of having a child with Down syndrome or autism is over than double the chance of a man in his 20s. It only gets worse as he enters his 50s.

What is more important? The health of your child or furthering your reproductive capabilities? If the health of your child is not any of your priorities , you shouldn’t be having children

There is a reason why vast majority of young women marry and have children with young men (under 40). Because young men are more physically attractive. Women have evolved to find young guys more physically attractive because they have better quality sperm hence healthier and better survival of offspring. Young men also tend to be stronger , fitter , less fat , which makes them more capable of defending her and her offspring

Sorry to tell you this but no young women looks for a man in his 50s to have kids with. If you want to maximize your chance of having children in life , it’s best to do it before 40. 45 at the latest.

[888theGreat]

@shaysh87 men can knock women up until 78 and we can use hover round to keep up

[shaysh87]

@888theGreat

Only thing is women aren’t attracted to men who are 78 so there would be nobody for you to knock up. Evolutionarily women find men in their 20-30s most attractive because younger men are stronger fitter and breed healthier offspring

[EmmaMary]

I got married at 25... Had our first child at 26 and now currently pregnant with our second one at 28.

[TheNewGeneration]

I want to have my first kid before I'm 25, but I think that the chance of that happening is 50/50 at best.

[Nata2496]

I was married at 18, and had my first child at 19. I'm now 30 with three children, but I am open to as many as I'm able to have with my husband.

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

pfft, that is NOT even a thought at this present time. Im all about actually creating a stable income for myself haha.

[Lliam]

I didn't start thinking about finding a life partner and settling down until I was in my mid-30s. I never wanted kids.

[Phoenix-gb]

I've voted for when I planned for it to happen (b), but it didn't, as a result I feel like a failure.

[t-8900]

I wanted to be married with a second kid by 26 but life has different plans for me. Hopefully this year I am married though

[Gaibriel]

There was no option for never having kids lol.

As for marriage, time doesn't matter for me. I rather wait to find the right one.

[anonbrunette99]

I always felt putting a time on it is bad luck. but before my 30s.

[shaysh87]

i don't plan on marrying but i do plan on having kids. 32-35

[888theGreat]

live in sin?

[JohnK123]

Then how u gonna have kids without a husband

[shaysh87]

@JohnK123

I’m thinking about going to a sperm bank or coparent

[Jadethedream]

Don’t know lol 😆 not sure if I want kids or not if I did would be 40s

[Ninania]

I married at 20 and got divorced at 25. Don't plan on doing either of that again.

[AviatorTom]

I'm past that. I married in my late 20s and had kids in my 30s.

[qwert1234]

Not planning to marry, but I do want kids... That I participated in the creation of. lol.

[exitseven]

I had my first kid at 25 and I finished before I turned 30

[Anonymous]

I'm going to finish grad school in a couple of years, but right after that I want to start having kids.

[Creampiekarl420]

I don’t plan on having children I plan on doing humanity a favor and keeping these trash genes out of the pool

[linka_pat307]

As long as I have achieved my dreams, I get married
And finish my studies slowly

[Selena1987]

I don’t know
I’m 34 and still single with no kids
Whatever fate decides for me

[Cubus]

When I find a woman I would click with, but rather fast.

[scott04sa22]

I’m unable to have romantic relationships and unable have my own family 😔

[UniquelyBasic]

78 years old, not a second before

[TX651]

Married at 24 and was still a Virgin. That night was an embarrassment...

[Anonymous]

I don't think I am gonna have to make that choice in this life

[whereismyjohnny]

I don't want kids before I'm like 26 or 27 😬

[rini02]

Same here 😁

[IveGotNoName]

Marriage between 25 and 30 and kids 30-35

[JoyGirl]

When I am financially stable. 😂

[MannMitAntworten]

Over my dead rotting corpse was not an option.

[Blackcupcake]

I’m not planning on that

[poneglyphs]

I have no idea. I can barely find a girlfriend

[MountAverage]

Didn't you forget an option?

[Iron_Man]

I’m not sure I’m already older

[Twalli]

I never plan to have kids

[888theGreat]

thank God for that

[KrakenAttackin]

Kids are awesome, marriage sucks.

[Jltakk]

Not really much of a choice for me.

[lrina]

never lol.

[Agape93]

Never

[Heartache0405]

Never

[Irunya41]

I dont

[pink-jilly]

Before 30

[htmndg183]

Marry 28. Kids 30

[Kelly6]

In 20s

[TheAfrikan]

35 would not be bad.

[captainggaming]

30 - 35

[flirtatiousgirl]

Never

[Enigma07]

Never

[Anonymous]

Never