Do some people get engaged in a slower process?

[Anonymous]

I know some people it’s all at once. He buys a ring and it’s agreed on in a moment.

But other times. Do engagements happens slowly. By having talks about getting married and the future and then just starts agreeing they should get married and start planning a day and a time.

Obviously most people at least have talks before engagement. But I just mean…. Sometimes it’s not just all at once agreeing to get married and sometimes.

[DubiousIntentions]

In engagements, slower is better for the most part. It gives you time to make sure you are pretty much compatible, at least in the major areas. But the reverse is also true. You don't want to drag it out for 7 years either, because then you are just friends with benefits. Any time someone can break an engagement. Many women are led on by promises of marriage but the guy never wants to tie the knot. Why should he, he gets all he wants without the commitment. He then can also call it quits at any time, especially when he decides to marry a mistress. It's also a bad idea to choose sexual compatibility as the major factor in compatibility. You can learn good sex, but it is harder to learn trust, reliability, being financially smart, and having compromise and a good heart.

[Asker]

Some folks on here want to get engaged way too quick I feel like.

[DubiousIntentions]

You have to do some dating before you can even begin to think of a serious relationship. You just don't settle for the first guy you meet.

[DermalPunch]

I am wary of long engagements.

[Asker]

It takes time to get engaged. Because you want to make sure you really wanna marry who you’re with.

[Asker]

I’m not gonna marry someone after the first date

[Asker]

Together 10 years…. Maybe a different story. But what I mean by long engagements is. It’s not just one night. Irs more talking and eventually setting everything up

[DermalPunch]

No one is advocating that.

[DermalPunch]

For how long is this talking and setting things up?

[Asker]

I guess it depends. Maybe a year maybe a few years maybe months depending.

[Asker]

I see

[DubiousIntentions]

Depends on how you define "long".

[Jamie05rhs]

I certainly hope mine is a slow process. I want my engagement to be like a government study. You know the kind where they make a commitee and they do millions of dollars of research, and then they write a report. And then they make another committee and they do more research. And then they have a vote to take a referendum. And then they put the referendum on the ballot. And then after the referendum is held they vote again. And then they form a planning commission. And then they vote on special masters to write a draft document. And then they vote on the draft document... Etc, etc. Lol

[DubiousIntentions]

There is such a thing as too slow too. You don't want to be engaged for 7 years.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DubiousIntentions Yeah, 7 years might be a bit long. But I'd be okay with 6. :)

[DubiousIntentions]

After 7 years you have a common law marriage in most states.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DubiousIntentions Common law marriage? How? 😂 I wouldn't even be living with her!! And we wouldn't be having sex, either.

[Asker]

I would say that many years is excessive. But I think a few years is more then reasonable.

[Asker]

If a girl demands to be married under a year…. It’s too fast and I would be worried she’s hiding her true intentions or true self.

Only to find out later she isn’t who she seemed.

Same with men who are like that.

But 6-7 years is too long

[Asker]

Once I decide to get married. I want it a year (five or take a bit) like the engagement. I don’t want that taking too long.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Asker Yeah; I think you're right.

[Jamie05rhs]

But hmm. The engagement itself can be 2 years. I don't have a problem with two years. Because I want to have enough time to go through couples counseling together.

[DubiousIntentions]

If you are living together as man or wife I should have said.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DubiousIntentions You mean cohabitating, right?

[DubiousIntentions]

That word fits too.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DubiousIntentions Okay. I don't believe in cohabitation, though. I'm a Christian.

[DubiousIntentions]

I don't believe in it either, but this is G@G and a lot of people here do it seems.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DubiousIntentions I couldn't care less what they believe.

[ArtemisSilver]

It takes about three up to six months for psychopaths to drop their masks.

Avoiding them is why a long courtship might help

[watercolor_lions]

What brings about this question? Are you being rushed by someone?

[Asker]

No. I just have seen it before. I would be suspicious of someone was trying to rush me into marriage. It’s a major red flag. That maybe they have other intentions.

As well as pushing something I said I wasn’t ready for yet.

[Asker]

My question was more of if some pepppe get engaged slower then just buying a ring done day and it being done.

There are some women though and men as well who keep proposing and proposing and demanding that someone marry them.

It’s highly suspect especially if you ain’t been together long

[LazerBean]

I would think that is how it usually is.