If your spouse had an affair would you leave him or her?

[cth2188]

Or would you work it out?

If my partner cheated, I'd leave as there's no way I'd be able to deal with a cheating partner. Idc if there's children involved or not or whatever the case is.

[Lliam]

Probably. Especially if she was just my girlfriend. But if my wife had an affair, it would depend on the circumstances. For instance, how long had we been married? Was it a one time thing or was it ongoing with a lover? Who was it with and what were the circumstances?

I was really careful in choosing the woman I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with. And a major factor in my decision was complete trust.

I think trust is essential in a relationship. And cheating destroys trust. It's very, very hurtful and dishonest.

So I would be hesitant to just up and get a divorce. But it would be hard to rebuild trust.

[Fireguy17]

In a heartbeat and have done so twice.
I came home early and found my so to be ex-wife with the landlord.
She asked what are you doing here to which I replied I used to live here and left.
Had an ex girlfriend that was cheating on me, and she wasn't very good at it, so that is why she became an ex.

[cth2188]

Wtf I'm so sorry you experienced that 😔 people are playing some dangerous games... imagine ifyouhada gun

[Fireguy17]

he wasn't worth my time.

[Oldschool1981]

I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever had, so nope, not at this stage of the game. I've actually become very forgiving and permissive about cheating to the point my SO doesn't need to hide it. My SO maintained a full relationship with another guy for several years while she was with me.

She met the guy at a party through a friend and had a one nighter, which turned into a booty call, which turned into a serious relationship, which lead to her moving in with him and me getting demoted to side guy. We never really broke up, she still kept stuff at my place and came over semi-frequently. At first I was jealous but it didn't last long. She is very sexual, experienced woman, so I knew these things sometimes happened and half expected it, not to mention it turns me on. She even made a sex tape for me and it was hot. I still watch it. Anyway, they eventually broke it off because he wanted to marry her and have kids and be with her exclusively but she didn't that nor did she want me out of her life. She's been back with me ever since, 14 years and counting. She now fucks a married colleague on the side but he's happy with his family and only wants sex. Sometimes I even help her cheat if I see a guy she might like to fuck.

So, the question is, why am I so accepting of a cheating SO? Like I mentioned earlier, she's a very sexual person and I've often been cheated on, so I eventually just got used to it and learned to like it. Also, I know she loves and wants to be with me forever but I understand that she puts up with some things out of me and at times just wants to be with a larger, more manly man with a bigger dick, whereas I have a girly side that likes to wear dresses, women's underwear and have my nails done and don't have a fragile male ego,. I also shave all the hair from my body. Furthermore, I enjoy my alone time, so having a side guy gets her out of the house. Finally, I understnad that a couple can be in a healthy, loving, sexual relationship but still want to have their own private sex life to explore, so I get it. She also lets me have a prostitute once in a while. Also, she has lots of qualities a like in a person and few I don't.

Basically, I'm fine with all my SO's cheating because I just don't see it as a serious sin in a relationship. So long as no children or diseases are involved, I'm fine.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I would probably try and work it out, provided that she was willing to save the relationship.

I got cheated on in the past, and while I recognize that it's a horrible act, part of the fault was mine for neglecting her, so I thought to try and work out out problems, while recognizing each other's faults.

[billmunch]

Nope. Cheating isn't a deal breaker for me. In fact, so long as there's no pregnancy or is with my friends, I get turned on by it. I can't explain why but the thought of my SO fucking other guys is my #1 kink.

In fact, I prefer to date promiscuous women. The more sex partners she's had, the more attractive she becomes to me. I know I'm different to most guys and I don't know why but I actually want my SO to sleep around. I probably enjoy it more than she does.

[Andres77]

It depends on why and how often. There are ways around betrayal that can eventually heal and strengthen a marriage. These, however, are rare but they still exist.

So, while in most cases it's justified to end the marriage I'll not say that it's necessary in every case. It IS possible to heal and forgive and move ahead genuinely happy again.

[cth2188]

I don't think so if my partner cheated we'd be over with

[Andres77]

I understand that. I do. But in some circumstances (I'm not justifying being unfaithful) I think there are ways to heal. To say something is unforgivable in every circumstance is almost a judgement on the one saying it.
On a different note, that's how I feel about 1st degree murder and rape and child molesting. THESE are UNFORGIVABLE!!! In every circumstance. Cheating? Nope.

Here's a curiosity I have. Someone on death row for murdering two store clerks 20 years ago was about to be executed, finally. But in the meantime he started writing children's books so there was a movement that said he should no longer be executed. Look at all the good he's done. Him? He still deserved to be executed. He should have been executed within a month at the end of his trial. You can't bring dead victims back.
You can, however, be regretful and try to fix the wrong you've done in a relationship.
I'm not saying you're wrong. You have every right to feel and believe the way you do. I just believe in second chances, depending on the circumstances.

[cth2188]

Once a cheater always a cheater idc how long we were married or not - cheating will be grounds for divorced

[Andres77]

I've known cheaters that stopped. Here's where I do NOT agree with you. That one cannot change their ways? Ever? Here's where I call you wrong. If that's the case then there would never be forgiveness for anything.

[cth2188]

Too each their own if ny mate chested we'd be over - the end no chance of rekindling or reconciliation

[cth2188]

Why I'm leary about marriage due to the fact people think its OK to cheat and still remain married. Not on my turks - my partner would be forgiven, but no chance of rekindling our marriage. That's something that I'll never be able to forget sorry.

[Andres77]

Fair enough.

[cth2188]

My ^

[cth2188]

If they cheat once they'll do jt again.

[Andres77]

Not everyone will.

[cth2188]

Well I wouldn't risk myself with a cheater

[Andres77]

Clear. Completely agree with your stance.

[BoobMan]

Before kids--in a heartbeat. After kids--MUCH tougher to say. I'd probably try to work it out for the sake of the kids.

[bolverk]

Without a doubt I'd be out the door as soon as humanly possible,

[sassyredhead]

I would be done trust is hard to repair.

[cth2188]

Agreed

[cth2188]

Yes I wouldn't

[Summeroflove]

uh yeah

[sheikalana]

Probably. Maybe... I don't really know.

[Clairebear799]

Fuck yeah I would.

[cth2188]

Same no ifs and butts about it

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yep. It's over.

[Nurse_Meyers_88]

Yes. I did actually.

[ChiTown33]

Of course.

[Brando10222]

I would leave