I'm invited to my nephews wedding and they want donations for a honeymoon what are your thoughts?

[CubaPirate]

He lives with is partner and they already have a child. Told family they weren't buying Christmas presents but were happy to receive them. Now they also expect family to do their wedding catering like WTF

[SnowedIn]

My general thought is that I hate the practice of just give us money towards the honeymoon. Blah. That said, nothing is wrong with that in and of itself.

For their wedding specifically, just get them what you want to get them. You're not obligated to do money for the honeymoon. If you have any obligation it's to be a good family member, attend the wedding, celebrate the marriage, and perhaps get them something small to launch them into life. Want to be the awesome uncle/family member/guest? Get something for the kid. A Lego set or stuffed animal or something.

As for the catering... I get your frustration. Sounds like they are ask ask ask for stuff. That said, when I got married, two of my wife's aunts told us that they would be glad to cater the wedding as their gift. So that is a thing. But that was an offer, not a demand/expectation/ask.

Do what works for you and is honoring to their wedding and presents you as the thoughtful uncle/man that you are; doesn't have to be what they want.

[CubaPirate]

Thanks so much for your thoughtful answer I'll give it due consideration

[RobT312]

Im getting married in 3 months and dont expect any gifts. We will be greatful for whatever we do get to start our next chapter. Their wants/ demands feel very presumptuous to me. I say give from your heart , whatever feels right, and ignore the ask.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you don’t want to give them more money, maybe you can offer other things such as a written promise to offer X hours of free baby sitting or free rides to the doctors X times if they get sick. My friend gave me a gift card for Christmas and it’s possible it was a gift her husband got at work and nothing something she paid for. If I don’t want to spend money on a gift, I might give something I do not need such as a free gift card to Tim Hortons from a raffle I won or as a reward for spending my credit card etc… My uncle sometimes gives us paintings he draws and my uncle sells his art for hundreds of dollars.

[Anonymous]

They're being obnoxious, so give it right back. Donations for the honeymoon don't have to be monetary. I'd give them sunscreen, a tour book for their destination, and a novelty picture frame with the "newlyweds" around the border.

[CubaPirate]

LMFAO great response thanks so much 🙏 😂

[Anonymous]

"Told family they weren't buying Christmas presents but were happy to receive them" yeah that sounds reasonable. They warned you that they weren't buying presents so you know you weren't obligated to buy them presents but wouldn't insult you by refusing presents.

You are invited to your nephews wedding but don't have to go. It's a common practice these days to donate money to a newly married couple to help them get started or in this case help them have a honeymoon. Family doing the catering will certainly help keep costs down.

Personally I was very lucky when I got married that our families contributed to the wedding and friends and family gifted money thar the catering basically paid for itself and some of our savings paid for the honeymoon.

I'm not really sure what the problem is you have.

[CubaPirate]

My problem us obviously I'm old fashioned with outdated standards. Stop the world I'm getting off

[TrueConfection]

I've had to deal with that type of situation 3 times. This last time, I was told what to give and that if I gave something else it would be returned or thrown out.

I don't like people trying to control me, even as a child I bucked against demands. So, I gave what was in my heart to give and told the family that what they do with the gift after that is their choice. In the end, I was told the recipient liked the gift.

[lalaloveee]

If a stingy nephew asked me for this, I'd say okay and give him an envelope with this note card inside, 'Making your own money is easier than begging for money.’

[CubaPirate]

Thanks so much. My thoughts exactly 💯

[Date_a_Snob]

I have one family member who never buys anyone gifts but is always happy to receive them.

[CubaPirate]

Problem is you can't choose your family can you

[Date_a_Snob]

No you can't. I would describe him as selfish. I invited him and several other family members over for Christmas. He brought his own cup of coffee in his own coffee mug to my Christmas party.

[CubaPirate]

What an asshole

[foxrider77]

I just gave a gift card. Was more than they sent me (nothing) for mine.

[Anonymous]

They wouldn't need to do any of this if they understood the Law Of Tenfold. Thus I'd see that as an opportunity to give them the gift as a seed and then multiply it through that method. My friend didn't really believe but he tried it and just a day later he was sent money. And then after that an owed debt was scheduled for repayment.

[Anonymous]

When people do undignified things like this or they invited me to the wedding just for the gift I give them $10.

[dustybiker]

Tell them the check is in the mail..

[Jennz6]

Don’t get them anything