Why do women stay with men who won't marry them?

Question

Why do women hold on to men for years who are not marrying them? Or the men have put a ring on her and promised marriage but it never happens, and the dudes will keep making excuses for why it's taking so long. You either want the girl as a final wife or you don't, simple as that. Why do women keep staying with them?

SixFootSexy · Accepted Answer

Guys aren't commitment-phobic, they're divorce-phobic.

KrakenAttackin · Accepted Answer

Because modern women aren't wife material and deep down these women know it.

Roxy0050 · Answer

This is a really great question. I actually knew a guy who deliberately used this strategy, he admitted to me that if he puts and engagement ring on her finger, (maybe not even the "real" i. e. expensive ring) then she will quiet down and not ask about the future for a good long time and he can just enjoy the situation even though he has no actual intention of making a commitment. This particular guy was sleeping with several other women while keeping the mother of his young child on a string with a cheap cubic zirconium.

I'd agree that in many cases it is caused by poor self-worth in the woman - but sometimes its simple naïveté. The lady loves the man and trusts him and truly believes they are just waiting for that magical future day...

Its sad that people can't trust in this world...

LostandFound__x · Answer

This is a question I wish I knew the answer to.

I know what it’s like to be really infatuated with someone and finding it difficult to picture a future with somebody else. But if he doesn’t want the same then I can accept it and force myself to move on. I know some other girls who feel this way too.

On the other hand I have friends who will do ANYTHING for a man who clearly doesn’t want to commit to them. Like it gets to a point where it’s a full on joke for the man. Yet they will do anything for them in hopes that he will commit. I’m talking beyond sex — to include prison, starving themselves (if he tells them to lose weight) and all other sorts of disrespect.

But one common denominator is that these women I know have very low self esteem and seem to think they can’t get a man. And the fact that they have this man is a miracle in itself. It’s very untrue but that’s how they see it.

Vegasrunner · Answer

This is another relationship issue that goes back to value. If a woman sees a man as high value, deep down she understands what it took to get him and more importantly what it takes to keep him. Once she has him she's reluctant to just give him up because she knows how difficult he is to replace. The guy typical has done a good job of what we call "Moving through stages" You can only do this if you understand women's stages in a relationship. Women invest more in long termrelationships so all the risk is on them, which makes them reluctant to call it off when they're right there on the Goaline.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

Those are sad cases of the woman really thinking there was a future with him and she as she starts getting older, she might think too much time passed and that she might not find a man that wants marriage if she leaves. She feels trapped as to whether continue hoping he'll upgrade to wife status already or start over from zero again.

Sometimes it's the very man that lied to her about wanting kids and marriage, lovebombed her too much by calling her ''oh my beautiful wife'' when she's still just a girlfriend and really gives her false hope. Those are scumbags.

Insecure2 · Answer

IT all depends on the woman and the situation. If the Man put a ring on her finger she probably thinks that they will marry in the Future. I mean, he promised so she is waiting for him to fullfill the promise denying any possibility that he might not marry her. If he didn't buy a ring, she stays and tries to convince him that she is worthy of becoming his wife. There are also women WHO love too much and devote themselves to the Man without considering their own Future or the fact that the Man's feelings might be of a different kind. Of course there are also women WHO are afraid that they might not find any other Man and will remain single for the rest of their lives without any support or safety that a relationship may provide them with, so they stick to the Man that they already have. Of course, there are probably also other reasons.

TopShelfMan · Answer

Marriage does not equal commitment or exclusivity. Many people divorce and/or cheat in marriages. Men are often harmed in marriage (divorce) by women, and there is no benefit for a man to be married. If women want marriage to be more common, THEY need to get the laws changed, such as no alimony, no taking what the man has earned, and automatic 50/50 equal custody of children. Until women make an effort to change laws that abuse men, men should continue to not get married.

There is no reason why two people can't have an exclusive long term relationship, live together, and raise a family together WITHOUT giving the woman a way to destroy the man's life and future.

Lalalove11 · Answer

There are some good wife material women that exist in the west but mostly in rural areas. Where I am in rural Ireland we are still very much traditional. Places in eastern Europe or more conservative parts of the UK as well.

Anonymous · Answer

Because she believes or knows he's the best she can do. There are a lot of women who stay with a guy that is not, will never be committed to her because she thinks he raises her value, or gives her legitimacy. a lot of women today seek out men that she feels raises her stock. Because to these women relationships are not really about commitment and more about image.

DarkLegacy · Answer

To sponge off of them and because they think they can force or bully men into marrying them. With no fault divorces now into law, marriage is not the death sentence it used to be. There is also the fact that women may be ok with not being married to their partner.

dragoblack · Answer

Well think about it in full perspective instead of the romantic ideal of the marrakech playing out. There's a whole lot of financial and government work and payout to go into it. If it was just simple ceremony that's not the white dress stereotype type of wedding, men would be for it. In the old days before the "copy the royal wedding" version we had today, the man either made a promise object or saved for a metal band, then the ceremony was just dress in your nicest outfit and go through the promise ceremony. It wasn't expensive, and it was just straight to the point without the crazy drama that costs more than a house/car. Then there is the consequences of divorce court, a guy has to worry about, and that is hell too. Lots of guys honestly want to avoid marriage for stability reasons. Marriage cann also put stress on a relationship too with the unrealistic ideal of what the couples version of what it is supposed to be.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Maybe some men do it to keep the woman around? Or sometimes the couple themselves is unsure of when to marry so they wait, but bad situations happen in relationships where the woman then decides to take that ring off, because he's no longer with her. I know of 2 friends who didn't have good fiancé', so it was called off. I'm so glad my one bestie didn't marry that guy, he was a piece of crap to her and her daughter.

LazerBean · Answer

Sometimes, both parties just don't want to get married. And sometimes, the woman just doesn't want to accept that the man they have thrown themselves at does not want to commit.

MisterWack · Answer

They don’t want the responsibility of marriage hanging over their heads IF they want to separate they don’t have to go through the courts giving them more freedom and less of a burden. That is how I see it.

blueonblack22 · Answer

I’m finding more and more women don’t even want to get married nowadays.

Anonymous · Answer

I know a guy who did this but ended up finding out he was already married. He didn’t leave his wife for any of them smh

serious · Answer

Perhaps they see that as a challenge which they need to complete by convincing the man to marry them

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Once you they already had sex and spent years with that man it's very difficult to realize it was all for nothing and they don't want that to happen to them.

DextroShade · Answer

Because Chad gives her the tingles and she just knows that one day he will change for  her .

HelpfulWoman · Answer

eh, frankly i couldn't give a shit about marriage in general. if you get together with the agreed upon idea of it, i guess then stringing someone along for years with excuses would be a red flag.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

They're afraid that this is the closest it'll get or if they push for a commitment that they'll now be alone and have to start over

strateguy632 · Answer

she hoped to change him

Luopio27 · Answer

To change their mind with their vaginas, hard work and compassion, I guess!

Paul09 · Answer

Why do all people have to get married? Not all people are religious either. When you match you stay together. Do not need marriage to prove your love.

handsomelad70 · Answer

Perhaps the women don't desire a husband and kids, just a boyfriend.

OddBeMe · Answer

Girls tend to be more accomadating. Maybe we tricked them into “trusting” us,

Jennz6 · Answer

For some place to stay

CrabCakes11 · Answer

Maybe she doesn’t want to get married

Awantika03 · Answer

Mutual understanding

HurremSultan · Answer

Marriage isn't important to all

whistlingwh0res · Answer

because he is a gigolo

Joshgag2000 · Answer

Because they are in love

Why do women stay with men who won't marry them?

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