Would you convert to another's religion to marry them?

[Anonymous]

I've always had this issue with potential matches (that they want me to convert to their religion to consider marriage). And I wish it weren't so. I don't want to convert. I would never tell a potential spouse to change their religion or lack thereof for my sake but it seems many men feel it appropriate to expect this from their fiance' or girlfriend. I suppose such people would divorce their spouse if suddenly they didn't want to be (insert religion) anymore.

[V_Injector]

I've only had one woman start pushing religion down my throat. It was some Filipina form of Christianity and I thought it was retarded. I didn't care if she held my views, but for reasons that I suspect are matters of control, she wanted me to jump into hers.

I'm agnostic or atheist to be clear. But I'm pretty trained on religious beliefs. I've read the Quran, new, and old Testament several times each. I can break down Norse and Greek religions for you and tell the stories. I don't take the stories and literal fact, but I consider it collections of stories that meaning can be derived from just like Asop's fables. <--I'm just pointing out she wasn't about to eclipse me with some sacred knowledge of some shit that I've had read to me and broken down in old Latin word for word. She wasn't the holder of some knowledge I've never heard before and have firmly sat in my respected, but it's bullshit file.

I've already said it... it was a feeble attempt at control. I suspect that is the main purpose of any dogmatic type of religion is to bring you under some form of control.

Needless to say... if you have one person in a relationship just trying to control the other by this method or any other... what kind of relationship are you going to have if it's allowed to fester? No worries because I'll tell you.

You'll have someone who thinks they have the authority to tell you what you can and cannot do. If you're not a fan of being put under someone's thumb... then you can figure out how that's just not going to work out.

To answer your question, no, I would not convert anyone else into my way of thinking and doing to marry me and in fact would challenge the idea of marriage in a legal system to begin with.

[Cogk_Of_Atlantis]

The only religions that are true are those that don't make literal sense.

For example, "god created you in this sexy garden and gave you a wife and you sinned" this makes literal sense and that's why it isn't true.

"Mythology" of all kinds, from the bible, Egyptian, all those stories that certainly don't make literal sense, symbolize the world metaphorically.

[RingOfFire]

I'm not a religious person. But in most cases I respect those who are and their beliefs whether I subscribe to them or not. There are many things that we do not know and who is to say what the answers are. I don't pretend to know and I'm in no position to judge the beliefs of others. For all I know they might be right.

Whenever I read such disparaging remarks about religions from someone it strikes me as some sort of mental issue. It's one thing not to believe, but the obvious vitriol reveals some kind of deep-seated hatred and a large measure of narrow minded arrogance.

[Lliam]

Hell no. Converting to another religion just get married would be a lie. I don't know how a person could convert to a religion without believing it.

But the Catholic church used to require that. I don't know about other Christian denominations. And I've never known a Jewish guy who married a women before she covered to Judaism, because his family would disown them if she didn't. Muslims might be the same way.

Fuck that.

I'm not religious and wouldn't pretend to be. I wouldn't be compatible with a woman who was devoutly religious. Although, I wouldn't care if she had religious beliefs as long as she didn't expect me to share them.

My wife and I were both raised Catholic but neither of us were religious by the time we met.
We did go back to her home town and got married in a Catholic church to make our families happy. Plus, she wanted to wear the white bridal gown. And the formal pomp and ceremony seemed fitting for the official vows that we took to each other. It was kind of romantic.

But I wouldn't have done it if I had to "convert".

[Lliam]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Anonymous]

Are you specifically dating men in a certain demographic? Very strange how you’re “always” asked to change religions and how marriage is the topic of of those discussions.

[Asker]

Yes, men. Is it strange?

Well, maybe for others it is strange but I've had this issue crop up when discussing marriage or even when I wasn't married to the man.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if it’s a potential match it sounds very early in to be discussing marriage, which is why I ask if you’re looking in a certain demographic or culture and not just “men” in general. For example, Muslim men who are deeply religious will quickly seek marriage and family, even arranged.

[Asker]

Not really. I've been dating men with an open scale as some families are willing to have non-religious spouses. So far, I haven't run into a man whose family or personhood would accept this, however, I've heard it has happened before. Thus far, I haven't heard of anybody giving up their religion for a non-religious spouse nor a non-religious spouse ask a religious spouse to 'give it up', which is why I think it's somewhat unfair or lopsided.

[menina]

Absolutely not. Religious beliefs are very personal, they shouldn't be forced. Besides, converting just to please your future spouse is so fake.

[ChicoFromThe305]

If I were to change it would be cause my whole belief system changed, which my faith is so strong I don't see myself ever doing that but doing it for a marriage no, I put it this way, knowing God I know God wouldn't make me choose between a soulmate and him, I'd have both, I'd have God and a woman that is for me.

[Asker]

That makes a lot of sense; I've always considered that religious people were off-limits for me (as this would be a huge deal breaker for them). I don't want to force or coerce them to give up their faith, and nor do I want to be forced or coerced to uptake a faith. I suppose those within the same religion could always marry each other and be happier, that way. I don't have issues being friends with religious people so long as they don't expound their religion onto me and critisize me for living life differently than they.

[Asker]

I don't think religious people have a fundamental human right to police other people for their lack of faith, anyhow. It's fine if they don't want to involve themselves with heathens but they are subject to the laws, too—provided that the laws are universally accepted and known (no murder, no stealing, etc.).

[ChicoFromThe305]

There's really no forcing, you always have the choice to leave or accept a faith, if anything you force yourself but it should be naturally, if you were to get into a faith it will most likely be when you experience something unexplainable or undeniable that a god exists and I don't know if you've noticed but marriage is for the most part a thing within a religion because most religions believe humans should only be with one person that they will stay with until they die, it's cause you aren't looking at it from the best point of view, it's not policing, keep in mind it's a belief so to us it's as real as the bed you lay on every night to sleep in, in all religions there's salvation or an afterlife, and in most religions our purpose would be to spread the word so others can be saved from death as well, now I will admit not everyone spreads the word how it should or in a healthy way cause they let their emotions get in the way but that's just the imperfect human part of them, the core all comes from that we believe that we weren't created with reason and we were created in the image of God so we can learn to try and be as holy as possible, not to earn our way into heaven, even the bible says, no one is worthy of heaven, salvation was gifted to us, but it's all about accepting it or not cause the whole reason we have it is cause god gifted it to us, denying him is denying that gift of salvation as well, people twist that a lot and make it look like God is dictating and threatens us with hell but it's actually our own choices that would lead us there, we should try and be holy cause that's what our original design was, Satan just manipulated to create sin and since then it's been a spiritual war, your choices will always be your choices tho and it's all about perspective, my point of all this was to clear the air on why people might behave the way they do no so you get a clearer picture of where all this conflicting behavior comes from.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Were created with reason*

[Asker]

But what if there isn't a person for the other until they die? And what if that person so happens not to be religious? I mean, I accept the fact that everybody is going to die someday, anyway, so why do people need saving?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Because the only other location that was designed according to our believes is hell, which I should mention that it wasn't designed for humans, it was designed for Satan and the rest of the angels that betrayed God and that were banished from heaven, the reason humans go there is cause it's the only place in the universe, in all of existence for that matter, where God isn't present, when you reject god, you make the choice to get away from him and the only place where that comes true is hell, the saving isn't for your life right now, it's for when you die and your soul leaves the flesh, God is like "accept me into your life and i will promise you salvation and a spot in heaven" when you go like "nah I don't need god" you destine yourself to hell cause you chose to reject him, if you dont want to be with god why would he force you to spend eternity with him in heaven? Accepting him into your life now gives you salvation when you die and protection in this life until it's your time and guidance of course, which is why us believers follow God and what he says, accepting the holy spirit into your life changes you, you won't be forced to avoid sin, you'll just be repulsed by it and make the choices to avoid it all on your own, to answer the first question now, God knows what you need, what you want won't always be what you need and if you ask God for a lover, he knows your heart and he will surely find someone that's perfect for you if you follow his guidance, for example... people date someone, get cheated on and then go "why God why" god is just there like "you chose that person not me" if we were to guide ourselves we, would lead ourselves to our own destruction.

[ChicoFromThe305]

just cause something is easy doesn't make it the right thing, just cause something seems right doesn't make it right, for all you know the person God found for you can be that guy friend that you think is a good friend" but cause of all the temptation around you, it slips by you Everytime, gods guidance never failed me, I'm sure it's the same with all believers which is on of the many reason why their faith is so strong.

[Asker]

I don't believe God will send me to hell just because I didn't join his fan club or identify as a believer. These constructs of religion are like cults, created by the culture of humans that they established for their survival/benefit, and having social acceptance is more important to them than God will ever be. Trust me. You don't know half the crap Christians have done in the name of God that are in fact sinful or divinely indecent and they are openly Christian about it as if whatever they did didn't count towards their damnation just because their Priest said so.

[Asker]

Plus, being non-religious negates the argument of religious hypocrisy.

Would you rather kill a person in the name of God for them having done nothing to you or save a person from death knowing full well that despite them being different from you you'd still see their humanity in this lifetime?

[Asker]

Because if you'd choose #1 and that person is innocent of having not harmed a fly then what's the justification for that? Just because you dislike or came to hate the person for not being who you want them to be? How is that fair, just, moral, divine?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Personally I've never killed anyone or done anything like that although I am fighting my own demons, Im well aware there's a lot of hypocrites, everyone is fighting their own demons, and false prophets are mentioned in the bible that there will be a lot of them, to me this is the truth and I've accepted to believe and make it my life style a long time ago, after all there's no forcing, the choice is yours, either accept or deny God and what comes with each of those choices will happen how it does, I just wanted to state the point of view of a believer, humans made it seem like a cult, I only believe what I do and try to tell others and what they choose will bring whatever results that happen, i just wanted to give a clearer and more accurate view on the beliefs cause many make god look bad, gods arms are always open for and if you decide to ever accept him, although I don't agree with how you choose to live your life, I respect you as another fellow human being.

[Asker]

That's understandable. I'm within my rights just as you are to believe whatever you want to believe in this lifetime. If I'll be damned by your religion, then so be it; my life isn't any better now than it was in the past, anyways. I haven't done anything indecent on a very fundamental level to warrant a God to send me to hell for being different in the way that he decided my life to go and made me out to be.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Like I said you can't earn your way into heaven, it's your faith in him that makes the difference, if you did fall into the beliefs you'll surely not see it as a damn, cause like I said before, it's not forced, it's accepted or denied, if you accept it, it will most likely be an experience that pulled you in that direction, the meaning of accepting isn't forcefully, it's willingly, if you didn't read everything I said then I do recommend you do cause I covered a lot on hell and heaven and I believe it's worth checking out if you chose to not read it, it surely will clear up on the way you view God when it comes to "being destined" to hell.

[Asker]

Well, I guess I'm going to hell; for not harming a fly and not becoming a member of the church of 'holiar than thou' . Seems like nonsense to me but I suppose it makes perfect sense to you.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Perhaps you have a lot of time to change that, it's not holier than tho considering nobody is holy, nobody should be in heaven but if God is real and it's all biblically accurate then that would mean that acceptance and repentance is the key to salvation, it has nothing to do with people being holy cause people aren't holy and forget about the idea of anyone being holier than others considering God doesn't rank sin, all sin is seen the same in the eyes of God, a fib is seen just as bad as killing someone, we just shouldn't sin or in our case, try the best not too do so, we are all on the same when it comes to holiness and that would be that we aren't saints, its why we should all try to be saved together and not separate ourselves.

[Asker]

I don't want to offend you but I've been inside churches before and the entirety of my being becomes unsettled, quickly. You can say I have the devil in me but this is just the way I feel about the church; its people; and its doctrine. I'm 'set apart' inherently. None of it feels calming, peaceful, or in any way right to me. I don't know why. It just is.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I know why, it's cause of judgment in general, you know in places like this there's a lot of low-key judgment and the thing is that you don't have to go to church for God to hear you, God is everywhere, he can even hear your thoughts just so you know, if you talk to him in your head, he will hear you, Christianity isn't about all the materialistic stuff, now don't get me wrong, putting in the effort to go to church isn't bad but it's not a requirement to be heard or accepted by God, I personally don't go to church but I pray and worship on my own or with family and God answers my prayers anyways, God wants your acceptance and you to involve him in your life cause he loves you, the only requirement is that you willingly accept him, that's it, then from there you'll see everything else fall into place, if someone turned it into a cult, you know they aren't doing it right, Christianity isn't a religion, it's a lifestyle and if you don't feel peace and calming, I'm sorry people have implemented the wrong ideas to make you feel that way, if you are ever curious one day, you can always call out to God and dont forget that it's not about everyone else, this connection is about you and God and that's it, people will always have a form of judgyness, but your faith is always between just you and God and that alone.

[Asker]

Sure. When it comes to the Abrahamic religions most people intermarry within that triangle. Each to his or her own.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep indeed so

[RingOfFire]

I wouldn't ask someone else to convert to my religion unless they wanted to, so I wouldn't be happy they insisted that I convert to theirs.

I suspect that sometimes it may not be that they require it but their family might require it. So they have to make a decision to either insist that you convert or to alienate their family.

That's a tough situation.

If push came to shove I think it would depend on what religion they want me to convert to. There is only one that I can think of that I would not even consider converting to. But then again I'm not sure I could convert to any of them because I'm not a strong believer in any religion, even the one I was born into so it wouldn't be sincere and I would feel that I am being deceptive.

[Keyboardkat]

Understand something: You will not succeed in a conversion which is done just to please someone else! It only works if you are doing this for yourself because you REALLY BELIEVE in your new religion! Otherwise, the effort and sacrifice is too great, and too difficult if it doesn't match with your prior beliefs, or lack of beliefs. And the first time you two have a really bad argument, you will wonder whether you made the right choice, especially if he or she insults your prior religion! And once the children have arrived, then there can be real problems in bringing them up in a house divided, unless you are REALLY committed to the new religion.

It's probably NOT a great idea!

[Anonguyfella]

It’s important to have similar values to your boyfriend/girlfriend if you’re going to marry them. Notice even the atheist commenters say they’ll only date atheists (whiling being a prick about it no doubt) but it’s all the same, they want someone that shares there values.
Forcing you change your beliefs and values isn’t really sharing them. Honestly if I was in the same case I’d be whiling to date/marry a girl with the same overall beliefs with denominational differences but probably not further then that.

[hahahmm]

Everybody is not compatible! If I had $10 for every woman I wanted when I was young who ended up either not wanting me or me not wanting her... I'd have like $100 million right now. ha ha ha ha. Women do tend to be more of the 'do what makes others happy' types than leader types tho. On average.

[nawtee_me]

As a Christian I would prefer a Christian wife. Knowing that I would date girls from other religions but probably not get in a relationship with them. Of course that would be talked about in the beginning and I would never lead a girl on like that. Dating is one thing and relationships are another.

[Anonymous]

Overall this is a very bad idea unless you had interest in other persons faith prior to even meeting them.

[dustybiker2]

No. I'll accept them for their beliefs but I'm not changing mine. I would never expect anyone to change for me either.

[worldscolide]

no, but i am also an atheist married to a catholic. No conversion necessary.

[HaveNoName]

Why even think about marrying in a different religion. All it brings is awkwardness and confusion... real confusion for the kids. It is best to keep your infatuation and lust at check if you see yourself drifting into that hole.

[soe11]

• Personally I don't.
• My girlfriend is libral progressive Muslim.
• We both live together at her mom house.

[Asker]

Seems like a compromise was reached.

[soe11]

Asker
Yes dear, we live in progressive world, so we must be flexible and adjustable in current climate conditions.

[Blue_Brady]

Never, I don't think I would date someone who doesn’t share the same beliefs.

[EmmaMary]

Not a fucking hope in Hells chance... In fact Hell would need to fucking freeze over first.

[silvermoon84]

I would not. I’m Christian and I tend to only date other Christians

[electromagnetic]

I would not. It’s a lie to god and a lie to each other.

[sawno]

No, I don't believe in either of those things.

[Agape93]

Nope. You're either not being honest, or your beliefs are shallow.

[Anonymous]

I would never convert.

I'm not changing my life to make someone else happy.

Why can't they get of their religion?

Why does the other need to convert for them?

No thanks

[OhLongJohnsoning]

My cousin did. However, other than his bar mitzvah, he never really took it as serious as i do. Now, I'm agnostic, but, i still identify as jewish. He married an evangelical nutjob, and converted

[Phoenix98]

Nope because that’s be a betrayal of my beliefs.

[12karen]

No, I am a Christian and I'll marry a Christian, for me love is God, so without God, it's not love

[rienna888]

yeah why not i'll convert back when we divorce, not like they gonna stone me

[SotiCoto]

No, because I'm not stupid enough to be infected by any religion in the first place.

[Knightwatch27]

Why would I abandon what I know to be the truth of Christ, for any number of equally false religions?

[dragoblack]

Nope. We each can have our own beliefs, but no one should have to convert. That's just not how religion works.

[jahaims]

I wouldn't marry anyone dumb enough to be religious

[Anonymous]

No way! If they can't accept my religion they can't accept me. My faith is intertwined with me.

[HelpfulWoman]

nah. thats a partner who can't support me for me.

[Anonymous]

I would never do that

[rosemilk]

no. i don't agree with any religion.

[DishLady]

Nope.

[LiamJHayden]

No, I wouldn't.

[Crazzyyworld]

I am not that bored

[Crazzyyworld]

nor boring

[White_Swan_]

No, I will not stop being a Muslim.

[KostasKouvalis]

No thanks

[CubaPirate]

Nope

[Jess014]

Never

[Anonymous]

Maybe