Why does he want to live together before marriage?

[Anonymous]

I went on a date with a guy and he said something that seems a bit strange to me. To give some context, we're both religious and so I presume we will wait until marriage to live together. We agree thay we shouldn't move in or sleep over before being engaged. But he said that he doesn't see the issue after engagement even if it's 3 months before the wedding. Why is he so adamant about moving in together during engagement but before marriage?

[Finchie40]

Because is true intentions is to have sex with you and to get to know you before marrying you , He feels by you moving on with him will give him the opportunity to do so before marriage , He basically wants you all to himself to manipulate you to fall for his true intentions. You should really reconsider that relationship with him

[Alli112]

Lots of people do it to test compatibility (and to some degree just because they want to). It's easy to look good/seem nice when you're intentionally going on dates, getting dressed up, etc. Living with a person is very revealing as to what a person is like day-to-day or when they're not putting on a good face for their partner. Lots of couples try living together to see if they're truly compatible and lots of couples fail that test. Better to argue or fall out of love before you're permanently hitched than after in my opinion.

[IslaTheWitch]

when you start to live together, it will be the moment when you start to get to know each other really well... all great and annoying things will appear... it's better to know before marriage. Divorce is costly and stressful...

[AviatorTom]

When engaged, you've made the commitment to each other, there's no issue with living together. And there are advantages. Making sure you are compatible in a being together every day environment is important for your long life together. Living together before marriage let's you two adjust to the differences between living separate and living together, and it's good to do that before marriage.

[RingOfFire]

I don't believe you can know a person well enough to safely marry them without living together first. I think it's severely increases the risk that it won't work out. Living together is so much different than dating. It's a completely different experience and a big hurdle to get over.

Even in the grocery store you usually want to taste the grapes before you buy the whole bunch. Nothing worse than getting the grapes home and finding out that they looked really good in the store but they're all sour.

[ProbablyClueless]

From a practical standpoint, it's because you learn A LOT about someone by living with them. Particularly if you're thinking about spending the rest of your life with someone, it kind of makes sense that someone would want to know the ins and outs of dealing with someone on a regular basis.

[Serkee]

How can you know if you really want to marry someone if you don't know what it's like living with them? In marriage you commit yourselves to each other for life, don't you think it's good to know what life with them is like before you make those vows? What if they're great right now, but insufferable to live with?

[Anonymous]

Look. I completely respect that you both want to wait. That’s amazing. It depends. You both need to talk about this. But you’re just dating. Slow down a little bit.

Talk to him about these sorts of things. Everyone is different. If you’re married in the eyes of God. That’s what counts. But living together doesn’t always mean having sex, but it could lead to that temptation.

[Staximus]

You don't really know somebody until you live with them for a year or more. All that not having sex and not living together before marriage stuff is a bunch of crap. You should know what you're getting yourself into before you get married. Figure out if you can live together and are compatible in the bedroom.

[Kelley1]

With current laws and family courts, living together is less risky than marriage and he know that once you are living together he can postpone the marriage.

[Booklover_90]

“Because everyone is doing it.” 🙄 I’d be firm with him and say no. A man who truly loves you wouldn’t pressure you. If he persists, block him and move on with your life. If you’re truly committed to your beliefs, don’t compromise.

[spartan55]

Couples should definitely live together before getting married. It's nothing like living with your parents.

[meepmeeperton]

Because he likes you and thinks he would enjoy living with you? And if you're at the point of being engaged why not?

[OhLongJohnsoning]

He believes you're supposed to

I think that marriage, isn't even necessary, i guaran fucking tee it but, if you really feel like you need to get married, you do you

[DrPepper12]

EVERYONE should live together at LEAST a year before marriage. EVERYONE!!!

[noohair]

Until you live with someone you do not truly know them.

[In_Trance]

Seems like you need to finish the conversation that you started with him

[SweetJoyGirl]

He doesn’t respect your boundaries.

[rienna888]

He wants to nail you

[jahaims]

Because it isn't the 1700s

[Anonymous]

It sounds like an escape clause to me.

[Anonymous]

I'm anon