Why do most men prefer being single nowadays?

[melssvdv]

My brother is a 32-year-old doctor, faces some pressure from our parents to get married. However, he has chosen not to, believing that marriage is not worth pursuing from his perspective. So he prefers to remain single. My uncle, an independent gold dealer and millionaire nearing 40 shares a same sentiment claiming that women are just a 'curse' in today's world while laughing. There are, of course, many other examples I observed from my perspective, but it makes me wonder: why do so many men seem to choose singlehood? What’s behind this trend?

[Hardon-Collider]

Because that which makes relationships work is broken. Objective morality replaced with legal systems. Cheating is legal. ㅤ

[abc3643]

Because it's better!

Look, I am not a misogynist in the least and not a member of the Manosphere, but, due to many lessons in The School of Hard Knocks, I've learned that's it's not worth it in any way.

Let me explain why and please realize that this is not targeted at women...

The older you get, the more you just want to be left alone and you value more and more your freedom.
Think about it... You have to work - a form of slavery - to survive. You have to do chores to survive. Indeed, God made it that we have to eat so we are forced to take action to survive. You don't see trees bitching about their jobs, do you?
Now, EVERY OTHER PERSON IN YOUR LIFE IS A CONSTRAINT ON YOUR FREEDOM. EVERY ONE.
That's very important to realize. You're already stuck with your family that you were born into and the obligations there. Then you have obligations to bosses... and coworkers... and other social obligations... like paying taxes to the government.
OK, now, when you CHOOSE to get into a relationship, you are CHOOSING TO PUT NEW ADDED CONSTRAINTS on your freedom. Your partner becomes another constraint to your freedom and thus your happiness. Ideally, your partner makes it worth it by making you happy in some way. Same with kids - more constraints and expense thus limiting your freedom in terms of time and money. Of course, kids (if raised right and circumstances permit) can become helpers and caregivers when you become old and infirm, so having and raising them is a form of investment, but there is no guarantee of that.

When you fly solo, you still have work relationships that you have to endure unless you are fantastically wealthy and retired. But, all your money and time is then yours to spend as you wish with no one else constraining you. You get to go out, do what you want, eat what you want, come home (or not) when you want.

OK, now for the bad news...
In today's society, many straight men are doing an intuitive cost-benefit analysis and realize that the probability of a woman as a successful partner (that is, one who is worth the costs to have her) is lower than it used to be in many ways. Part of this is because men themselves are becoming immature assholes, but even older men like me think "What the fuck is the point?" But, at the same time, many women now are more confrontational and assertive than in the past. (They should be because they should be equals, but that doesn't change the increased likeliness of confrontation.)

Remember, every choice in life has an intuitive cost-benefit analysis associated with it. By "cost-benefit analysis", that's just a business term which means "Is it worth it?"

For instance, suppose you went to McFood, are in the drive-thru land, and wanted to order the McShitburger which you love. Well, if the McShitburger is $0.99, you'd think that's a great deal and buy one... or two. But, if the price of the McShitburger went up to $5.99, you'd begin to say silently to yourself "Do I really want to spend 6 bucks on that?" You might. You might not. But if the McShitburger went up to $10.00, you'd likely think "God, no, that's not worth it! I can drive over to FoodQueen and get their equivalent McShitburger for $3.99".

Well, the same can be said about relationships. Women and children were worth it long ago. Now, they are not... not unless you are already wealthy and can afford the time and money to enjoy your family and care for them as good as you want.

=========
I realized I kind of rambled here, but it is really important to understand that personal freedom is the thing that will really make you happiest above all else. This is because personal freedom means you can be you. The less personal freedom you have, the more you need to be someone else that you might not want to be... (a person with responsibilities).

[beefcakebradybatson]

Isn't every dude in the Manosphere? I certainly am.

[abc3643]

@beefcakebradybatson No. Most aren't because they're mature enough not to.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Thought you're in the boys' club because you've got a boy's club between your legs.

[CherryLove007]

One reason is a huge hesitation to grow and share with women or themselves (growth). To me that just means laziness.

My 34 yr old male friend told me the reason he is not married is that he hasn't taken life seriously. yikes

[LazerBean]

There are many reasons. Failed up bringing, a weak/no Father figure, brain damage from various environmental factors, access to benefits without a relationship requirement, manchild syndrome, etc...

[Deserter3]

The courts, entitled women

[LazerBean]

Nah, those have never stopped marriage quality men from wanting to marry. Aversion to marriage is a cultural problem, similar to the cultural problem that the African Americans currently have.

[melssvdv]

The lack of father figure... isn't because the court separates the father away from mother and children? Isn't the court enforcing this?

[LazerBean]

Did the court force them to get divorced?

[Deserter3]

It makes men fearful, everyone thinks their SO is the one, until they aren't, it happens too much

[LazerBean]

Yes everyone thinks they're SO is the one, that's no different now than 100 years ago. It's good that those particular men fear that they will not be in a successful marriage, because anyone who thinks that is 100% right and therefore should never get married. Marriage is only meant for people above a certain quality.

[Deserter3]

Ok, and what about the people who have no doubts and the marriage fails?

[LazerBean]

99% of the time it's totally predictable to people who are honest with themselves.

[Deserter3]

Cope, people change, fedlings change

[LazerBean]

People are predictable and the ways they change are predictable. They don't just change arbitrarily. That's why things like the 99 rules of power are so effective and widely used in business and commerce and tons of other things. Anyone who really wanted to could make a science out of calculating how high on the marriage quality scale a person is, it wouldn't even be that hard.

[Deserter3]

True or not it's irrelevant if most people don't have the intelligence or knowledge to figure out who is and isn't

[LazerBean]

True, and therefore it is a win in society when those people do not marry and, most importantly, do not reproduce.

[Joshydavid25]

I think also hearing about high divorce rates, and how hard marriage is would scare a lot of people away. And the growing divide between men and women doesn't help.. Especially since it makes it harder for people to connect.. And I don't know about the correlation with lack of a father figure.. My father wasn't in my life and I want to be married with children.. Of course I could be an outlier so there's that..

[LazerBean]

I totally agree that a lot of men are scared by those stats. But I believe that does not scare away any guys who were not eventually going to be scared away anyway. Kind of how boot camp gets rid of the weak early on rather than later.

[Joshydavid25]

I agree, they don't scare me away, and no matter how much people talk bad about marriage or how many horror stories I hear, I still want it, because it's the ultimate form of purpose and commitment in my eyes.. But I do feel like saying "it's because those men are weak" is simplifying it.. You mentthe "Black" community and the big reason for "our" horrible family structure is the government and Marxism being allowed to infiltrate..

[Joshydavid25]

Mentioned the***..

[LazerBean]

Good for you, I wish you a successful marriage and future. However, the root of a horrible family structure in most cases, blacks and whites included, is ultimately promiscuity. The government did incentivised it for the black community, which is why they have progressed down that road quicker. However, even the whites are well on the road as well. Promiscuity leads to poor decision making in marriage partners, which leads to divorce, which leads to broken children with a reduced marriage quality.

[Joshydavid25]

Thank you.. 😃.. And promiscuity is a big problem especially in the "Black" community I agree.. But I believe it's a symptom... The reason I mentioned the government and Marxism, is because even back in the 40s and 50s "Black" families were together, and it was the infiltration of 2nd wave feminism and the legendary hero Dr. MLK that lead to more government assistance to where the man couldn't be in the house, mixed in with the Marxist revolution against "the system" the lead to the downfall of the "Black" community in the Civil Rights era.. Promiscuity came in with more "Black" women embracing feminism and the sexual revolution..

[LazerBean]

Promiscuousity is not only the act, but also the mindset. Second Wave feminism did not cause promiscuity, it was the result of promiscuity. Before the second wave hit, men were already of the promiscuous mindset and simply didn't have as much opportunity. It was only women who were holding up the moral standard at that point. So whenever second wave feminism hit it gave women the opportunity to be just as morally degenerate as their male counterparts already were. If men would have also been holding up the standard at that time, then feminism would have died because women ultimately always follow the lead of the men in their country. Not only that, but who would they have been promiscuous with if the men were moral? But instead, whenever women decided to ditch those morals, they were welcomed into the beds of men who had been waiting for them. That feminism and broken families are the inevitable result of promiscuity. A person who is not promiscuous will never be promiscuous no matter how much the government pays them. But a person who is promiscuous of morals will certainly become more promiscuous if the government pays them to do so.

[Deserter3]

Jeez get a room already, human beings aren't monogamous

[LazerBean]

I'm sorry you feel that way.

[melssvdv]

Isn't kind of hypocritical? You say that men should be better but reality check shows women are way worse nowadays. Or are you upset because every women is born of a man's sperm?

[LazerBean]

What did I say that is hypocritical? Men and women are both way worse today, but women are simply following the path that men pave for them. That is how human nature works, sir.

[melssvdv]

Ooh okay sorry I misunderstood. There was a moment where I said to a girl who hated men 'are you upset because you were born of a man's sperm' and she quickly threw a chair at me yelling I HATE YOU AND ALL MEN XD

[LazerBean]

Huh, weird. Every boy was born and nourished of a woman, and every woman was born of a man so I don't know why that would upset anyone lol

[Deserter3]

Bible says women are ribs, I will not be disobeyed by my ow rib!

[LazerBean]

A woman is the rib of her husband. You have no rib.

[Deserter3]

6 ribs, all different colored women, I'm a player

[LazerBean]

Red, brown, yellow, black, white... What's the 6th color in your fantasy?

[Deserter3]

Arab

[LazerBean]

Ah, brown is a very wide spectrum

[Deserter3]

Latinos or arabs, if you had to choose?

[LazerBean]

Depends. Looks wise I think Arabs are generally a bit more attractive. However I feel like I would have a lot more in common with a Latino. And if said Arab is a Muslim then that's an easy pass

[Joshydavid25]

@LazerBean Oof. This is where we disagree pretty heavily... Feminism is a Marxist movement thats always been about power and making women superior and victims at the same time.. It's the same with the idealogy of the systematic racism.. It's all rooted in Marxism.. Most people back in the day weren't promiscuous because it was highly looked down upon on men and women.. There are even early feminist writings heavily disparaging men's sexuality while uplifting women's.. They even had little sex communs in the 1800s..

While men do lead women and I definetely agree that weak men allowed Feminism to flourish, I don't think promiscuity was the cause, but just another symptom.. The biggest problems always stem from idealogy..

[LazerBean]

While most people didn't ACT on their promiscuous desires back then, many people whish had those promiscuous desires but were held back by shame (which is a good thing) and opportunity (also a good thing). That's why I used the phrase "promiscuous minded" some in my previous reply.

But yes we will have to agree to disagree on that one indeed, as I also don't believe that systematic racism is a real thing in this country. I appreciate that you are consistent in your beliefs though. If one is true than the other is certainly true, I just happen to believe that neither are true.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, we both believe that there is a problem.. And I agree that many people were either on the dl or desired to be promiscuous.. But, that's how it is with humans in general.. We aren't all good or all bad, but driven by mostly selfish desires that aren't always good for us. Men and women..

And well of course.. I was saying that systemic racism is a Marxist based "movement" like feminism is.. And I don't like Marxism.. So, I'm anti-feminist, and anti- the belief of systemic racism..

[Deserter3]

You could say promiscuity is selfish, you can also say wanting someone only for yourself is selfish

[Joshydavid25]

@Deserter3 That later could be selfish, but its ultimately supposed to be leading to doing something for someone other than yourself.. Which ultimately leads to selflessness.. Especially since a lot of people have married out of duty to them children they had or were having..

[Deserter3]

Or... you can't let go

[LazerBean]

Well I can agree that I don't like Marxism lol

And wanting someone only for yourself is only selfish if that is not in the best interest of the other person. If you believe like I do and believe that promiscuity (non monogamy) is inherently inferior to monogamy, then if that premise is true wanting someone for yourself (if you are also a good partner to them) is not selfish.

[HollyK21]

Had to make a new profile and fake narrative to push this ideology some more lol people are so strange @Abbycado 😩

[Abbycado]

I'd argue the opposite that is what men prefer by what you read here from the whiny blue anons.

[HollyK21]

It’s such an eyeroll Abby, maybe they should just have each other🙃

[melssvdv]

What are you even? I just joined in. is there so much to ask?

[HollyK21]

We know better “Mel”, so save it.

[Anonymous]

Do you honestly want to know? Or do you just want to hear what you want to hear. Because I can tell you. But it's pointless if you really don't want to hear what I got to say.

There is simply nothing in it for MOST guys anymore. Relationships need to beneficial for both genders. And if we're just THAT simple? Relationships would still happen. But it's not that simple. He has to be attracted her, she has to be attracted to him. And THAT seldom happens now-a-days. So even if two people are attracted to eachother. Are they similar type of people? Are they generous? Are they hard working? Are they committed to the people they care about? Do they communicate, in a healthy way? Most people today are attracted to everything that is contrary to what would make a good partner. And then finally add on top of all of this past experiences that will probably derail anything healthy you have CURRENTLY going.

At some point you realize you're alone in this world. IF YOU'RE LUCKY you have 2 people in life that truly love you (your mother and father) and if you EVER surpass that you're blessed. Because the odds are not likely.

Hope that helps.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

A lot of men aren’t “avoiding relationships,” they’re avoiding the chaos that comes with the wrong one.

Men today are more aware of what drains them, constant conflict,
unclear expectations, emotional labor they don’t know how to carry, and relationships that don’t feel peaceful.

Being single gives them control, freedom, and a sense of stability they don’t want to lose unless the connection feels genuinely worth it.

It’s not that they don’t want love.

They just don’t want to lose themselves in the process.

[OneViewpoint]

I can answer that question in 2 words and it has nothing to do with men or women.

WEALTH INEQUALITY

People can't afford a $250K education, $999K home, a $75K car, marriage, kids, health insurance that refuses to cover claims, and food suffering from artificial inflation from tariffs... aka taxes... from a centrally planned government run by a moron. People are stressed emotionally, physically, financially.

They are angry and for the most part too stupid to direct their anger at the 1% who are killing them slowly with a GIG economy. So they are directing their hate and anger at each other. Exactly as the propaganda of the 1% is designed to work.

Isn't Capitalism wonderful? How's it working for you?

[serious]

That is because men are afraid of being compatible enough with the woman they are going to marry and plus in case if the marriage turns out to be bad then getting out the marriage is not easy and even if there are legal ways like seperation/divorce then the man has to pay a good amount of money for maintenance/alimony and maybe even some part of his assets/properties to the woman.

Keeping all this mind men nowadays are afraid to marry and plus instead of exposing themselves to the risk that might arise from marriage it is better to remain single instead.

[Quigly]

Single is the best lifestyle.

Having a kid is great and I am not against taking care of someone less fortunate in life. Those are good reasons to get married. But, I'm not going to get into a lifestyle Marriage with no other purpose that certainly will end up failing and lose with nothing gained. It's a relationship with all Risk and no reward, the only thing you will get is some sex and there are better ways to get sex if that's all you are looking for without losing everything you have worked by an insincere thief.

[Zack-Bann]

I can only speak for myself


Most girls that stay over my place I want them to leave when the morning comes


And whenever I meet someone I don’t wanna see leaving: she’s always with someone else


There is no winning. No happy endings. Just pain and emptiness

[jtg13]

Well I'd say, in my experience, women are walking contradictions. Some serious pressure to be as they wish you to be and not much acceptance of you as you are.

At the very best a person will be 85% of what you want in a partner.

Accept me or don't. Men are done contorting themselves would be my answer. Done with games and tests.
Men do everything for themselves early in life. Add value to it or carry on. They will continue doing everything for themselves.

[Alex-Snow]

I'm 20 and do not want a relationship right now. I'm in college and fortunately have a casual friends with benefits who loves sex. I hope to get married when I am ready and most likely after med school. I have read lately that people are putting off marriage In the USA) until later in life and that couples and single people are having less sex. And masturbation has increased ( I think that is impossible for me to jerk off even more!) But seriously I think some people find outlets by porn or masturbation and do not want a permanent attachment. Ur thoughts?

[Hardon-Collider]

Cooming in your hand to "Find an outlet"? An outlet for what? You know that the more you ejaculate the more precum you secrete, thus the more your prostate swells upon reducing the ejac frequency? It's similar to how clearing your throat repeatedly results in making more mucus. It's not an addiction to clear you throat you'd say, but a biologic necessity, because of all that mucus. You'd say its healthy. and even essential because you wouldn't be able to speak without clearing your throat, right?

And if you're not aware, numerous scientific studies showed that celibate religious priests have lower tital cancer rates and prostate cancers than non ceivate people.

So, what outlet? Maybe, just maybe, an outlet for the nervous system?

The body needs the heart rate to go up periodically to stay healthy.

Instead of doing physical work, or even workouts if your job isn't strenuous... people skip both of these and their only remaining option of gettig some sort of csrdio is either getting angry or horny. Right?

It's unhealthy, if you ask me.

[Phoenix98]

I can't speak for places outside the US but in the US a decent amount of women not all woman but a decent amount just seem to be bunched up balls of resentment, entitlement and drama.

And quite frankly none of us want to deal with that. And me personally almost having my life destroyed by a woman once before has left me extremely cautious when it comes to women.

[boundless]

It would seem pretty obvious that women's culture is the problem. You keep getting the same answers from men, but you refuse to accept the results of the pattern.

[melssvdv]

I do kinda accept it. I observe this kind of thing myself as well.

[boundless]

As you can see by the pink responses on here, they can't even admit there is a real problem to evaluate. They are in denial even though the reality is reflected in the statistics. Rather than take the topic serious, they try to degrade people and discredit them. Marriage is way down. Narcissism is way up. How can long term relationships exist between people if they are consumed with themselves, refusing to accept responsibly, needing constant approval and never willing to accept criticism? Narcissists don't compromise due to their self centered nature. They emotional abuse their partners and so on. As a result they can't maintain relationships. Thus why long term relationships/marriage are at their lowest levels ever.

[boundless]

Notice it's the women saying I want I want I want when it comes to relationships. In contrast the guys are like no thanks. Entitlement is a key trait that drives narcissistic behavior. Who's the ones that feel entitled to relationships? Who wants more shit just because? There is your narcissist group.

[Joshydavid25]

Because feminism did what it set out to do.. Divide and conquer.. Society in general -moreso the net than real life- takes a bug dump on men and basically puts women on a pedestal, making more men simpy.. Not to mention the political divide has made a lot of women more self righteous and almost insufferable.. Mix those things up and it has scared a lot of guys off from dating.. Of course, plenty are still dating..

[exitseven]

There is plenty of sex to be had if you are wealthy and the potential loss could be devastation if they got married.

[melssvdv]

What potential loss if men are married?

[exitseven]

if they get divorced they get taken to the cleaners.

[melssvdv]

Really I didn't know that.

[Likes2drive]

Because women are mostly in it for the money and will take half of it if you get divorced so if you don’t get married, you’ll never get divorced. It’s also not worth the stress and they probably have some friends with benefits or maybe they pay escorts.

[msc545]

This is because these two men like many of the rest of us, recognize that marriage is simply financial suicide for men in the United States and we are not about to get involved in this sort of thing only to lose our children in our property and our money to some women. It's just not worth it. The feminists have managed to weaponize the justice them to the point that it is completely unfair to men in divorce court and in courts in general. We don't want to be involved.

[RedTiefling]

Peace and Focus.

No judgement, no shaming.

My friends and family give me support, I love my pets more than anything and I'd move mountains for them.

[jahaims]

Poor cultural and societal values have turned most people into useless partners

[melssvdv]

What countries do you think is the worst place for marriage?

[jahaims]

I only experience my own culture in that aspect, so I wouldn't have a clue without knowing other cultures intimately.

[LiamJHayden]

Prefer? Probably not, but the no fault divorce laws make it the smarter thing to do for a lot of men. Marriage is sold as sacred, which I believe it is, but it is governed by laws that do not actually recognize that. Under no fault, a cheater still gets half of all marital property and, if the substantially lower earner, probably alimony as well. There is no real penalty for violating the sanctity or breaking the marriage contract.

[Purpleronnie]

I hardly think it’s most men , clearly there are some people who would rather be single , and some others that would have us believe it’s their choice.


Each to their own , but Im definitely happier to be in a relationship

[Anonymous]

It's not that most men prefer being single. Most men would definitely prefer to be married to a good woman like women and marriages of the past. The problem is today's women and how they are destroying the institution of marriage.

[Shehnaz]

Before I give you my opinion I think it would help to know where are you located? Like in which country?

[blackeagle007]

We have the most to lose in divorces. With the cost of everything sky high, it’s not worth to tie the knot

[Filthy_Immigrant]

because we are no longer falling for that bullshit myth that Disney movies sold to us

[jtg13]

Rom coms as well

[CherryLove007]

That is total fiction. Why did you think otherwise?

Fakery at it's best.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

@CherryLove007 is hard to accept something as fiction when it was fed to you daily as a child. lets not forget that even when you grow up your subconscious still can't differentiate truth and lies apart

hence that quote...

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it."

[CherryLove007]

Understood, yes
however i looked at my adult parents and did not see them acting like a Disney movie. I was one of the friends in my group that never planned a wedding after watching a Disney movie.
I see some of your points
But i dont think the lie about Santa Clause is causing teens or adults to still believe in him. And that was the biggest lie every year.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

@CherryLove007 not all lies are that obvious

despite being more accepted and even legal now there are still a lot of people out there who believe Marijuana is a dangerous drug despite having so much medical effects

[Deserter3]

Too much to lose, the courts favor women, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Men used to have to be paid a dowry from the the bride's father cause marrying is a burden for the man

[mysteriousNicholas]

I find I'm able to use my limited time more effectively 😋👍 it's a busy world out there after coronavirus lol

[Staximus]

In your brother and uncle's case it's because of gold diggers

[Anonymous]

I live in Ireland. Here women are horrific to men. Foreigners mention it a lot.

[CherryLove007]

curious? what's the standout problem there from women?

[melssvdv]

I live in Ireland too! Yes, it must be feminism causing this.

[Anonymous]

Wealthy men are afraid of women taking their money

[Kaneki05]

There is a bible of reasons, it would take too long to go through.

[foxsquirrell]

I don't prefer to be single. I just never found anyone interested in me apparently. If I find a girl I get along with I prefer to be with her than alone.

[noohair]

Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex. That is not the case anymore

[YourExLover69]

Because they have trust issues or bad experiences in the past. 😶

[shortster]

As someone who is looking to get married. I don't understand those guys.

[Nice222]

It’s just not worth it these days. The risk is higher then the reward.

[Pohjolan]

American women aren't as appealing as they used to...

[snake3946]

there a lot of reasons but a few is much like women men don't like to be cheated on either for just money or friends with benefits

[MasterKS]

Easy sex, Casual sex made things easier so why need to marry when you get it. LOL

[Anonymous]

Well mainly because your brother and uncle are handicapeted emotionally women are amazing, some of them at least

[Opinion Owner]

Wealth is not everything humans are very complex beings and the ability to love, open and search with optimism comes from the inside

[fonduegirl]

They are stingy with money

[loveyouoak]

You should ask them about that.

[Anonymous]

Easier, cheaper, happier

[beefcakebradybatson]

E-X-P-E-N-S-E !!!

[Anonymous]

Is this your 50th account now?

[Anonymous]

I blame money.

[Anonymous]

Some of us don't have any other choice.

[beenherebefore]

Nowadays?

[Jmmmfi4]

I don't at all actually