Why is it so hard to find a decent person to marry?

[Anonymous]

Most people aren't decent in our society. A lot of people will pretend to be nice, sane human to your face but secretly will be a selfish asshole behind closed doors. Since its so hard to find a truly decent person, would this mean that most people getting married are actually marrying indecent people?

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily, but many people do marry for reasons other than character compatibility, which can lead to negative outcomes.

Couples often fail because they don't understand their own core values or don't vet their partner’s values properly before committing.

Many marry because they fear being alone, are reaching a certain age, or feel they won't find anyone better.

People often lie or mask their true nature early in relationships to gain approval. Genuine character, or the lack thereof, often only surfaces during times of stress, conflict, or long-term proximity.

[Asker]

im trying to find myself a husband right now. its just so hard to find a genuinely decent person. Many will come off as nice during the beginning but after a few months go by, you find out they're not nearly as decent as i thought they were

[Opinion Owner]

To find a quality husband, you must look beyond superficial traits, focus on shared values, watch for red flags, and ensure compatibility over just attraction. Sending you my good luck Vibes. Good luck

[Asker]

Haha... I can't look past superficial traits. Lack of physical attraction will only mean lack of sex in the future. Lack of money will just mean financial problems and stress in the future will is the top leading cause of divorce.

Be very careful about what you choose to settle for

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Most people getting married don't truly know what they're marrying. All people have two sides. I personally, like to lead with the dark side. It's the most genuine and allows the other to truly know what they're getting involved with. It also lets me know that if someone is willing to deal with it, then that person is probably someone who isn't scared of a few pesky demons. Everyone is willing to walk through heaven with you. The rare ones are willing to walk through hell.

[beenherebefore]

Maybe you expectations are so high they don't exist. Everyone including yourself will commit mistakes and do indecent things in the eyes of others. And people change a lot over the years. The moment you stop expecting people to be perfect the less you'll get disappointed.

[Nikki1989]

The theory is disproven by the fact that almost everyone I know is happily married. People will usually only see what they want to see, and some people are attracted to negativity.

Just ask one of the many blue anons on here.

[slatyb]

Maybe the problem is that they find you and reject you.

[Asker]

im a decent person, that is why i only look for decent people. but it feels like they just don't exist.

[slatyb]

Where are you meeting these people? I live in Seattle and everyone I know is decent.

[Asker]

Online mostly, a few in person at the bar

[slatyb]

There are decent people online but you have to read carefully. I did a fair bit of online dating and everyone I met was decent but I was pretty picky about who I would date. At most 5% of the women close to my age were interesting, and there was only one new possibility a month in a large metropolitan area.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I don't do a good job putting myself in situations where I could meet and mingle with girls my age. I'm also a bit of a peculiar person, so not everyone is for me.

[loveyouoak]

That's why it makes more sense to stay single than to marry a toxic person. Marriages have lost their meaning these days.

[AngryCarl3]

Decency was cancelled. It didn't make money for global corporations.

[Staximus]

Because there’s no such thing as the perfect person.

[jahaims]

Most humans are trash/stupid

[9999Tito]

I found thats instead of looking for the rite person... I've decided to work on myself for real this time instead looking for the right person work on being the rite person

[HairF3tish]

sadly you are right I think the same

[queenofcardio]

Keep trying

[In_Trance]

wdym by decent?